


An eye for an eye

by sugfan94



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationship, Angst, Cheating/infedelity, Dark Dean, Experimentation, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mpreg, Prostitution, Rape, Slavery, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-20
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-12 11:08:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 33
Words: 51,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/810894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugfan94/pseuds/sugfan94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam put his his beer down his hands shook from gripping the cold beer bottle too hard. His brother was an idiot and he knew, he wasn't going to listen to him. But what the hell here goes nothing."Dean just let it go...revenge isn't going to solve anything. It's not going to bring them back, we should just let him go" </p><p>"Let him go?" Dean asked "Let him go? Let the person go who is responsible for our parents death. I can't sammy, I still have nightmares, I still see them burning in that fire, I need him. I know revenge won't solve a thing, But it might make me feel better" </p><p>"Fine beat him, throw him around, Take all your anger out on him, i don't care what you do with him. The only question i have is what do you plan to do with the child once it's born?" </p><p>(I Suck at summaries)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Life

Do you ever feel that urge to just stop running from it all? Like all what? From life, from the people, from those friends, who aren’t your friends, they pretend be. They are your friends, but the moment you need them, they disappear without a trace. Leaving you behind, at times one just wants to run, keep running from everyone and everything. That’s what he felt like doing; Castile just felt like running away, from life from friends, from family, from him, no he wouldn’t let him. He wouldn’t let him run no matter, how bad he wanted to run away from him, no matter how much the abuse no matter how much the pain he always stayed. 

Something um no someone, always held him back and that little someone was wailing right now. Eyes fluttered open and close for a couple of seconds, dry chapped lips parted, taking in a shaky breath. “Emma,” Castiel groaned he pulled off the blanket, feet hit the ground, making sure not to make too much noise. He didn’t want to wake the other man in bed; it took just under a minute to exit his own bedroom. Upon entering the nursery, Castiel made a face. The smell of the soiled diaper hit him hard. Emmas cries got higher, Castiel quickly took his three week old daughter into his arms, trying to quiet her down, cradling her head he put her down on the changing table, he pulled the dirty diaper off. Putting on another one, he rocked her back to sleep, humming to a lullaby.

When she finally dozed off, he kissed the dark brown patch of hair on her head, before putting her back in her crib. He walked back into his bedroom, ready to get back into bed, the other man was asleep. His half of the blanket was gone, not wanting to wake the other man, he just lay down. Three hours of sleep was all he needed, Emma was up every three hours, cas never had enough sleep; sadly the moment he laid down the cries of Emma had him out of bed once again.

“Are you hungry?” Emma only wailed harder, “alright I’ll make you a bottle,” the moment cas moved to set her down, she cried harder. He didn’t drop her not once, as he made the bottle with one hand, she was a sleep after half a bottle, setting it aside he rocked the chair back and forth he was a sleep with baby emma in his arms. Hours later the man from across the hall woke with a yawn, he pushed the blankets back, he didn’t bother to look to the other side of his bed, 

“cas where the fuck is my coffee?” Castiel jolted awake, Emma nearly fell out of his arms, he quickly placed her in the crib. Running down into the kitchen, he put on a fresh brew of coffee, he started on breakfast. His hands shook as he set the plates, he pushed his own plate aside, he didn’t like him eating around the table, so cas always ate aside away from him. 

“Breakfast is ready” he spoke in a quick breath, “Coffee” Dean was about ready to punch him in the face, “here you are,” Castiel placed the cup in his hand, Dean was ready to go to work, he sipped on the coffee took his seat on the table. Cas took a deep breath, he watched dean eat in peace, courage was what he needed just enough to get the words out. He was going to do it; he was going to ask permission, he was going to do it. This was the perfect time. Ah what the hell here goes nothing, “dean I wondered if-” he paused trying to get the courage up to continue, “I wondered if I cou- “ cas was cut off once again, as emma began to cry. 

“perhaps we can talk at dinner, have a good day at work.” he leaned into to kiss deans cheek, before his lips could meet with the soft skin, he was punched in the cheek bone. “Don’t forget my rules?” Dean said exiting the door, leaving castiel on the cold floor. Placing his hands down on the tiles, he pushed himself up and went to his daughter, taking her in his arms once more to quiet her down. bringing her down in the living room, he proceeded to lay her down on the coffee table, he kissed her cheek than patted her tummy. “In nine months you’ll have someone to play with.” Castiel muttered, “We’ll have another baby to play with, would you like that?” he asked placing his lips on her stomach he bellowed, and she fell apart laughing castiel sat back looking down at his daughter. “Now the only problem is how do we tell daddy?” 

Hi I’m Castiel Winchester and this is my daughter Emma. I am married to Dean Winchester, and I am just trying to tell my story would like to hear it?


	2. Chapter 2

“Ah.” Castiel whimpered, Dean was always too harsh with him. He never cared if he was breaking him, “Please...Ah…Dean.” Castiel raised his hands to push his husband off, just to put them down to clutch the sheets even tighter. Deans hands wrapped around his thighs tighter, pulling them apart wider, Castiel bit his lip, tears poured out, his muscle; he could feel the harsh stretch of the muscle. Dean’s movements didn’t stop. He had Castiels legs open wide; his hands spreading his thighs wide open. Castiels eyes were closed, tears poured out, mouth gaping open and shut from time to time, he cried out from the pain. Dean paid no attention to his pain; he only cared for his own pleasure. He didn’t like the noise; he took a hold of the pillow beneath Castiels head, pulling it out. He pushed it over his face muffling his cries. He moved faster, Castiel tried to breath, it was all closing in he couldn’t breathe. He could only feel pain, it had only been three weeks, since he’d given birth his wounds, that should have been closing were open and getting worse.

All Castiel hoped for was some compassion from his husband; Dean really wasn’t the compassionate type. Within the blink of an eye Castiel, was flipped on his back his face pressed down into mattress this time. Castiel howled in pain as dean thrust back inside him. “Please, Dean, oh please.” Castiel begged dean only picked up his pace. His thrusts getting faster, castiel bit his lip when he felt Dean come inside him. Dean was off of him and into the shower with in the minute, Castiel curled up and began to sob, He was hard. he felt sickened with himself, for loving this for never resisting dean, his fingers curled around his own hardness, and he brought himself to release. A mess pooled in on the sheets, he was leaking from behind, wiping his hands on the dirty sheets, and he used the back of his hand to wipe the tears away. Taking his discarded pants off the floor he put them on.

He stood with difficulty once more, in front of the mirror. “You can do this. “ He encouraged himself, “Dean we are expecting another child.” Castiel smiled to himself ready to tell his husband, once more that they were expecting a child, with in seconds the fear set in, last time he spoke about having a child, Dean nearly killed him and in the process the child too. He was shaking in fear now, the shower had stopped, Dean stepped out dressed and toweling his hair dry; Dean tossed the towel right at his face, Castiel took it he dropped it in the laundry basket. “Dean.” Castiel whispered, “Shut up, go to sleep” Castiel did as he was told, he got in bed underneath the sheets, he was warm but he craved even more warmth. Dean had not hugged him for a very long time, Castiel just wanted to curl up in Dean’s body. Some nights like tonight Castiel wondered, what it would be like to curl up into Deans body. to have his husband hug and kiss him. To treat him with love, oh Castiel would sell his soul just for one night with, Dean where they would kiss you one of those kisses, which happened in stories; those passionate kisses make hot love like they did in stories. He just wanted a love story. A real love story, reality was cruel especially to him, where to begin? Castiel laid under the sheet, about a foot of space separating him and his husband. He fell asleep with in the minute gravity weighing his eyelids down; he tried to remember another simpler time.

_Castiel had a messy story, he doesn’t ever remember being happy while growing up; he remembers some good. Gabriel that’s his name, he doesn’t know who he is just that, whenever he was around him there would always be a smile on his face. They spent most of their lives on the run, away from one house to another village, from there to a city, a country would have been amazing, but before they could board the plane, they got them. They were taken off the plane, Castiel remembers how hard he was holding Gabriels hand, he was sure he left a bruise that man, he can’t remember his name, all he remembers are his yellow frightening eyes. He took them and molded them; Castiel remembers being separated from Gabriel as punishment, for every time he screwed up. They had a job and Castiel couldn’t do it, he was scared to do it, he didn’t like hurting people. That man made them play innocent, very innocent hurt little boys, running from home, taking refuge in others house only, when they were to fall asleep would Gabriel attack the man of the house. The yellow eyed man would show himself he would make a deal with them. Castiel was too young to understand, what they were doing. Gabriel would tell him it was nothing, he would always keep the truth hidden from him, he was young and Gabriel didn’t want to hurt him the last one trip they made went wrong!_  
  


_Gabriel arranged Castiels hair and kissed his head, “I’m sorry okay, this will be the last time I promise.” the air felt heavy Castiel felt like he couldn’t breathe, tears were pouring out of his eyes his body shook, he gripped Gabriels hand tight. “Last time?” Castiel asked Gabriel nodded and flashed one of those smiles, which always made Castiel know it was going to be okay. Taking a hold of Castiels hand Gabriel tugged him along. Castiel had a hold of Gabriels hand while his other hand held onto his bear a small torn up; he didn’t even notice that it slipped through his hand.  “HEY!” Gabriel stopped gripping Castiels hand tighter, “You dropped this!” a boy almost as tall as Cas stood across from them, Gabriel went stiff Castiel quickly took It, “what’s his name?” the boy asked “Oreo.” Castiel answered, the boy began to chuckle Castiel pouted._

_“Why?” He questioned. “See he’s brown, but there’s a white spot right in the middle.” Castiel paused and pointed at the white spot where he’d spilled bleach by accident “cool, my brother and I are playing tag want to come play?” Castiels face brightened up with a big smile “gabey can we, can we please play?” Castiel begged Gabriel looked around he could spare a couple of minutes, maybe they could fit it into their plan. “Come on,” the boy extended his hand and Castiel took it without hesitation. “Sammy we got two more players.” Another boy young boy stepped out from the slides. “Dean,” Sam called out laughing as he ran towards his brother, Dean stopped half way making Castiel and Gabriel stop too._

_“Tag your it,” Dean yelled running off, Gabriel took one good look at his brother before running off, Castiel put Oreo down on a bench nearby before running after them. “I’m going to catch you,” Castiel yelled as tried to catch up with Dean. “No you won’t,” Dean yelled picking up his pace. Castiel jumped tackling Dean on the soft grass. “You’re it. No take backs.” Best memory he had was of that day his first memory of Dean Winchester. It was perfect he had never laughed so much before he had never seen Gabriel laugh that much before either. The problem began right when Mary and John Winchester appeared, to pick their children right up from the park. “Where do you live?” Dean asked, that was it time to get it back into character Castiel made the puppy face. “We left home no one wanted us.” Castiel whispered Gabriel took a hold of him, Mary was tall had blond hair and beautiful eyes and Dean looked much like her._

_“Why did you leave home? Your family must be worried about the two of you.” Gabriel shook his head “we are from an orphanage, the last family they told us to go back, they didn’t want us.” Gabriel replied. “Well where are the two of you staying?” She asked Gabriel looked around his mouth opening and closing a couple of times, “We don’t know?” Mary shook her head “oh dear.”  She placed her hand on Castiel shoulder he broke down right than, “Please don’t make us go back, I’m scared of them please.” She took a deep breath wiping away Castiels tears, “Will you wait here for a moment, don’t go anywhere.” She stood and started walking away from them, she spoke to her husband “Dean” she called out right away, Dean hurried along with Sam. “Go on move Adams seat, come on boys” John said helping the boys push a baby seat aside Mary waved at the boys “Come on”  Castiel took Gabriel’s hand once again, “Please Gabey let’s not do this. Please gabey I don’t want to they are nice people can we not hurt them.” Gabriel took a hold of Castiel “I swear to you last time, this will be last time. We will ever have to do this ever again after this we won’t have to okay.” Gabriel kissed his head once more, He took them to the car, the plan was working fine, started out differently but it was going fine, that’s what he kept telling himself._

_Do you ever have a meal, that is just the best meal and no matter how many other meals you have, you can’t forget that one. Castiel at the moment was having the best meal of his life, it was the first best meal he’d ever had, he ate and ate until his stomach formed a bump. “Castiel you can sleep in Deans room the bedroom is big enough you too can share. I just put Adam down in his crib; Gabriel is already a sleep with Sammy.” Castiel knew now the plan had kicked in. The silently followed Mary into Deans room, Castiel got into bed Mary kissed his head. “Don’t be scared you are safe, I promise you will be safe here.” She kissed his cheek, “Angels are watching over you.” She whispered before leaving the room she pointed at a statue of a baby angel, Castiel looked over at Dean “I’m scared,” Castiel whimpered, fresh tears coming out of his eyes; Dean closed the space between them hugging him close._

_“Don’t be scared, I’ll keep you safe.”  Castiel was a sleep his face tucked under Deans chin, he slept peacefully for hours. It was late into the night, when a high pitched scream woke them up. “Oh no,” Castiel whispered, Dean was sitting up, “What was that?” he questioned pulling the sheets back, he got ready to go investigate. Castiel didn’t let him up, he held him by his waist. “Please don’t go, I can keep you safe please don’t go.” Castiel knew what was happening, he’d been seeing it for so long, he didn’t want Dean to witness it. The yelling and screaming got louder, cries of Adam who was still yet an infant, and was sobbing in his crib. Dean pushed Castiel away; he ran to his mother Castiel held oreo and went after him. Mary was on the floor in the kitchen holding a pale and bleeding John. Castiel looked at Gabriel, “What did you do?” He yelled the yellow eyed man was standing over John A smile on his lips “Gabey what did you do?” Castiel head spun there was too much blood everywhere, “It was an accident. I didn’t mean to stab him.”_

_Castiel pushed Gabriel, “Go run please.” Castiel turned from Gabriel, he took oreo and shoved him in Gabriels arms. “Last time you promised now go. I have to fix this go.” He whispered, Gabriel knew this was his chance to get them out he held the bear, “Outside five minutes,” Gabriel whispered he backed up slowly, making sure it would not get their masters attention. Castiel looked down at the family, how many had he broken? Just how many families had they destroyed like this?  “that’s all I’m asking Mary. Your youngest for your husband’s life, one wave of my hand and I can save him I can make it all okay.” Mary was in tears, she held her husband, one hand over the bleeding wound, while the other under his back, trying to hold him up. “Tic tock Mary, he’s slipping.” Dean and Sam stood by their father, Adam crying in his crib._

_“NO” Mary yelled Castiel couldn’t tell what was happening? He was holding the bloody knife from the floor, “He isn’t even your son, admit it after your husband’s affair, him bringing the boy home, you hated him you still do why do you keep him around?” Mary didn’t answer Castiel couldn’t listen to it any more, what he did next was foolish and stupid, but he did it anyway, he raised the knife up high behind his master he brought it down. Castiel doesn’t remember much of it just his masters scream, he got up pushing Castiel away. His body smashing into the floor, that’s all he remembers, and a fire a hot burning fire. He was trapped in the fire that’s all he can remember something was wrapped around his throat, someone screaming why? The only images he has of the night is a fire burning and bleeding John Winchester, his master dead, he’d stabbed two people, he’d stabbed his master and he’d stabbed Mary, he’d stabbed Mary Winchester, by accident._

_“Cas…Cas…_ Castiel. _”_ Someone was shaking him awake, Castiel hands shot up, pushing up and away from whoever was trying to wake him. “Hey calm down it’s me.” Castiels eyes opened wide. “Sam”


	3. Chapter 3

“Sam.” Castiels eyes opened wide, his brother in law was standing over him.  “Dude you were ticking like a clock, having a night mare?” Sam asked Castiel nodded, Sam oh Castiel could go on and on about Sam. First things first Sam was his brother in law, Deans younger brother. He was kind. He never tossed Castiel, around like Dean did. Sam was tall well-built smart and an amazing person. Castiel pushed the sheets back, with an excited yell he jumped out of bed, “Ugh.” A grunt from Dean made him leave the room; he took a hold of Sam by the upper arm, and dragged him out. “What time is it?” Castiel asked standing up on his toes, he pulled Sam in a tight hug; his arms tightly wrapped around Sams shoulders. Sam laid a kiss on his forehead, while hugging him around the waist. “You look terrible.” Sam commented pulling away from Castiel, taking a hold of his face, he ran a thumb over his bruised lip.

“How are you holding up?” Sam questioned Castiel placed his hand over Sams squeezing it lightly, the best thing about Sam was that he was caring. “I’m fine Sam! What are you doing here? What time is it?” Sam chuckled. “It’s two in the morning, Adam and I took a little road trip got here earlier than we expected, do you have anything to eat?” Castiel nodded, “I have left overs, I’ll heat them up. Where is Adam?” Sam just pointed down stairs, Castiel hopped down the stairs, making the wood squeak underneath his weight. The moment he set his eyes on Adam, he and Sam searched for a camera. Sam took out his phone, snapping up a picture of Adam, laying sound asleep on the couch with Emma on his chest. Castiel fetched a blanket covering them both up he kissed Emmas head and then Adams, he proceeded to heat up left overs for Sam.

            “So good, I missed your food so much.” Castiel smiled at least someone appreciated his food. “So having nightmares again?” Sam questioned Castiel rested his head down on the table. “It’s the same nightmare Sam.” He began to explain Sam ate while silently listening by the time, Castiel had finished telling his nightmare, Sam had finished eating “What else do you remember? Sam asked, Castiel just shook his head. “I just remember bits and pieces, which I really can’t put together, it’s driving me insane, Sam I don’t remember almost every night, I have the Same dream like a flash back, I just can’t piece it together.” Sam only reached across and held his hand. He’d dreamt of that that night often too, but that was a nightmare he’d rather not talk about. “You will figure it out okay don’t worry and don’t take too much stress, it’s not good for you.” With a nod Castiel forgot it all just for now, “What about you Sammy? What have you been doing?” He asked

Sam smiled a slight blush adorned his cheeks. “You met someone?” Castiel was so happy; he almost jumped out of his chair Sam laughed. “His name is Gabriel, we met four months ago, and we just started dating last month.” Sam paused to take a look at Castiels face it was all smiles, he chuckled “I”ve been keeping Adams butt in school, and I’ve been working at the firm your turn.” Sam said Castiel at times didn’t like this game, every time they got together they would do the catch up game. Sam always had something new to say, Castiel never had much to say. “Oh you know, just been taking care of Emma, she has this three hour schedule, don’t get enough sleep. just Same old things I guess.” Sam stood up going to the fridge pulling out a beer, “What about Dean? How are the two of you getting along?” Castiels face went blank once more, “Nothing has changed between Dean and I. He does not see me as anything Sam why do you keep asking?” 

 “I’m only here till tomorrow afternoon. Adam and I have to go and pick up some supplies from the next town over, than we’ll be back to spend all of Adams time off from school with you lot.” Sam explained “I’m going to sleep. See you in the morning, thanks for the food Cas.” Sam laid a kiss on his head, before leaving him alone in the kitchen Emma was sound asleep he kissed her head once more making sure, Adam was tucked in he crawled back in bed.

            Sometimes Sam didn’t know what to do? Dean was always there to help him through almost everything. Dean always made sure to be there for both of his brothers; he never paid much attention to himself. He’d done so much for him, Sam felt like he needed to do something for him now. Dean never cared much for himself and it bugged Sam. Specially now he had Castiel, who was head over heels for his brother, but his dumbass of a brother didn’t know crap. He didn’t know what to do with cas for goodness sake they were married, yeah long story, let’s not go there yet, they are married and have a daughter they hardly acted like a married couple. Dean only used Castiel to satisfy his sexual needs, Dean was a jerk, just a big fat jerk Sam was determined to get those idiots together.    
  
            Dean woke up to a pleasant surprise, breakfast in bed, pan cakes bacon full glass of juice and his brother sitting across from him. “FUCK SAMMY.” Dean nearly jumped off the bed in near shock, “Good morning” Sam greeted Dean pulled Sam into a tight hug. “When did you get here?” Sam laughed “Got here a couple hours ago.” Sam answered “Sam breakfast is ready.” Dean looked up from the bed to see Castiel standing in the door way. “Grab the tray come down.” Sam said following Castiel out of the room, Dean grabbed his discarded pants slipping in them, he made his way down with his own tray, before he made it down stairs, Castiel met him halfway taking the tray out of his hands. He laid it out onto the table “oh not you?” Adam laughed jumping from the chair hugging his brother tight, Emma broke out into giggles, Castiel took Emma out of her seat he watched the three brothers eat. “I’m going to feed Emma.” Emma was bouncing in his arms, “What are you so happy about?” he asked twisting his lips in funny shapes, mismatching his eyes, Emma started to giggle again. Castiel put Emma in his lap and began feeding her from her bottle.

            Down stairs the three brothers sat around the dining table, catching up on their adventures. Adam was the first one up from his seat. “Where you going?” Dean asked “Just getting Emma, I want to play with her for a bit.” Dean nodded his head and let Adam run up the stairs. “So explain to me, why you’re leaving?” Dean asked he began picking up the dishes, setting them by the sink he left them for Castiel. “We just need to pick up some things for the car, we’ll just come back later tonight and then, two weeks here with you guys. That okay with you?” Sam questioned Dean shrugged “It’s fine with me.” He answered “So how are things going?” Dean sighed, “If you are here trying to mend things, between that whore and I. You can leave. Do not come back Sam; I will not let you do this.” Sam raised his hands in defense, “I’m not. I’m just here to spend time with my niece and brother okay. I am not here to mend anything between the two of you. What happens with you and cas is your business, it’s not mine okay, just stop being so loud, Adam doesn’t know about any of this remember.“ Dean gave a sigh, “sorry okay just had this odd feeling, Cas has been acting weird, you know weirder than usual.” Sam smiled he patted Deans shoulder, “you’ll figure it out.” Deans eyebrows furrowed, “I can’t figure it out, he’s nightmares are back, and he’s quieter, usually I can’t get him to shut up.” Sam didn’t say a thing he left Dean.

Adam couldn’t let go of Emma. “Adam come on we’ll be back later, you can play with her than.” Sam was getting frustrated they had to get back on their trip. “But please can’t we take her with us.”  Sam rolled his eyes and glared at Dean, telling him to get on with it. Dean stepped up wrestling Emma out of Adams arms. He gently bounced her in his own arms, Adam pouted. Sam rolled his eyes grabbing him and tossing him in the car, he shut the door before Adam could make it out once more. Dean took Emma back inside as soon as the car disappeared from sight, he shut the door with his foot, he rocked Emma back and forth, patting her back. “Dang it Emma,” Dean groaned Emma spat up milk over his shoulder; Castiel wiped his wet hands clean on his pants. “You should get rid of that shirt, I’ll wash it out for you.” Dean handed over Emma used his own shirt to wipe Emmas mouth, Castiel put Emma down for her nap, he made his way to the laundry room starting to fold all the babys clothes “Give me a towel?” Castiel nearly jumped, he didn’t know how long he’d stood there lost to his mindless thoughts. Castiel makes a quick grab for the towel turns and nearly drops it.

 His husband stood in front of him naked. Dean took the towel he smirked and tossed it aside, he put a hand around his husband’s neck, he pushed him down over the washing machine. Castiel didn’t scream, he saw it coming, he placed his hands over washing machine with in the minutes, Dean is inside him with minimum preparation. It hurts when Dean had shoved himself inside him Castiel was crying, body shuddering the laundery room filled with the sound of smacking flesh. Dean pushed deep inside of Castiel, who panted harshly every few seconds, Dean stopped to roll his hips before falling back into a rhythm. One hand on Castiels hips the other wrapped around his neck, holding him down, with every thrust Castiel can tell Dean is close to his release his thrusts pick up. Castiels hips push against the harsh edges of the washing machine bruising him. “Dean…ple..ahh…sto…ah” Castiel begged Dean pulled out turned, Castiel around taking him by his hips he laid him over the washing machine. Dean pushed back in, Castiel whimpered he couldn’t help it, as hot tears leaked from the corners of his eyes, his hard cock untouched. Dean’s cock stretched him filling him, dragging in and out, pushing against his prostate again and again. “Dean…oh…stop…ah… Dean stop… I’m pregnant” Castiel shouldn’t have done that, he really shouldn’t have blurt it out. he was so fucked because Dean stopped, there was an awkward silence. Dean pulled out he didn’t say a word, “Get dressed.” Dean ordered. “Dean please listen,” One hard glare from his husband shut him right up, he grabbed the barely dry trench coat, and put it on. Dean was half dressed his shirt still unbuttoned, he took a hold of Castiel, Dean was dragging him into his car. “Dean Emma she’s still inside, let me go get her.” Dean didn’t pay attention, he just drove.  Castiel started to panic, he curled up in his seat when they came to a stop, Dean had a tight grip on his arm pulled out of the car dragging him along.

Castiel couldn’t keep up, he tripped over nothing nearly hitting the ground, tears clouded his eyes, the next thing Castiel knew he was slammed against a desk, he screamed in pain he fell to his knees. Dean left the room locking him in, Castiel fell to his knees, he refused to cry, he was in so much pain from the sex, he was bruised everywhere, every muscle in his body ached. When Dean returned he had brought along with him the only one person Castiel hated being around. “Dean step out, I’m going to do a couple of tests.” Dean didn’t spare a look to Castiel, he just left the room. “Hello cas. Remember me?” Castiel nodded, “Lisa” he whispered she had him take of his coat, she didn’t bat an eye, at all the bruises that covered him. She just proceeded to begin her testing, he hated being around her, she always made him feel unloved. The way Dean looked at her, like there could be a 100 people in the room and yet, Dean would only be staring at her, she was the one the only one for him. Castiel couldn’t compare to her, she was perfect. Castiel was just he was nothing, when Dean stepped back in Lisa just placed a hand on his shoulder, congratulated him and left the room. The whole ride back Dean didn’t say a thing. Castiel focused on trying not to think of the worst scenario possible. The moment they were inside the door had barely shut before a hard punch landed on Castiels cheek slamming him to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness, (Had a family death)   
> Here is the new chapter.  
> Sorry for all the mistakes.  
> Hope you like :)  
> Leave comments please <3


	4. Chapter 4

 

Hands wrapped around Castiels coat picking him up with ease. With a thud he was slammed against the wall, his head banged against the hard wall, he laid his hands against the wall his body, his feet hung a couple feet off the ground. “You don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve any of my kindness, and you don’t deserve this child.” Dean let Castiel fall to his knees, Dean stepped away his hand wrapped around his own hair, and he cursed. Castiel backed up curled into the wall, his hand protecting his stomach. Dean disappeared when he returned he held a knife in his hands, Castiel covered his stomach. “Please Dean don’t, please don’t kill our child please.” Dean punched him hard in the cheekbone. “Don’t you dare say that?” Castiel curled up determined to keep this child safe. “I’ll take care of it, I won’t bother you about it, I swear. Dean please don’t kill it.”

Castiel begged, Dean dropped the knife his body slumped in the couch, Emma had awoken and started to cry, Dean completely ignored it. “Please Dean I am so sorry, please don’t make me kill it, I can’t Dean.” Dean landed another punch on his cheek bone; he had him pinned to the floor with in seconds. “Kill it, that shouldn’t be hard for you, you murdered my parents, how many others died because of you? This shouldn’t even be a problem for you.” Castiel was speechless he didn’t know what to say. “I’m not going to kill it, it’s a life.” Dean had a hand over his stomach, “My child.” Dean whispered, Cas didn’t move an inch, Dean stood off of him. Cas slowly got up fully aware, that his daughter was wailing in her crib. He didn’t pay attention the bloody mouth or the open wounds on his face, due to Deans rings. He held onto his daughter calming her down. “It’s okay baby, are you hungry?” Castiel asked trying to calm her, he set her down once more, he’d made a bottle of formula beforehand, and she was a sleep with in minutes. He laid her back in her crib, making his way to the bathroom, a couple bandages covered up the damage on his cheek, and he couldn’t put a band aid on his lips. He wiped it down, put pressure on the wound; it took a good amount of effort to stop the bleeding.

He walked up the stairs his hands shook, as he tried to wrap it around the door knob. When he finally got it open, he found Dean laying on their bed, he made a quick run to the closet, pulling out a new shirt and pants, he made a beeline for the bathroom changing out of his clothes. He tossed his bloody shirt in the trash, he didn’t have the heart to look at all the damage on his body, and he just kept a hand on his stomach. “I promise you, we will be okay” Castiel whispered “We’ll be okay sweetheart.” Castiel started to cry once again. Why do you have to suffer endlessly for one mistake? But Castiel knew and he felt like he deserved it, he’d ruined lives even though, he barely remembers any of it. He knows everything Dean does is good, because Castiel knew he knew he deserves it. “I promise.” Castiel whispered one last time, he wiped his tears away slid on the shirt, he left the bathroom, stood by the door.

“Dean would you like something to eat?” Dean didn’t reply being cautious, Castiel stepped closer to Dean, who was lying still on bed he bent over to find Dean asleep. He reached over grabbing the blanket by Dean’s feet he covered him up, for now it was time to make dinner, He had made enough food for Sam and Adam. Knowing Emma was going to sleep for a few more hours, he made his way up to Dean, to wake him for dinner, he nearly screamed he’d laid a hand over Deans chest, trying to shaking him awake. He was flipped over thrown on the bed, right underneath Deans body, a hand wrapped around his throat pinning him down. “What?” Dean asked, Castiel shook from fear once more, “Dinner is ready.” He shut his eyes and waited for Dean to get off of him, and he did Castiel got up and went into the nursery to change the sheets for Emmas crib. An empty diaper bag, he was scared Dean was angry and he knew asking him could result in more bloodshed. He made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen, he found Dean already eating, he took his spot in the corner of the kitchen holding his own plate of food.

“Dean, Emmas diapers have run out, may we go shopping? Please.” Castiel requested Dean put his fork down. “Pick this mess up grab Emma, let’s go.” Castiel quickly cleared the table and gathered Emma, he took a sling with him, he took her and put her in the car it the baby stroller, sat quietly as they drove away, Dean handed a bundle of notes to Castiel. “Will you not be coming with?” Castiel questioned Dean glared at him, Castiel took Emma securing her in the slink. “I will only be a couple minutes.” Castiel said Dean looked at him once more “Rule number two.” He said Castiel nodded, breaking Deans rules meant trouble. He took a cart and made his way inside the store, “Cas?” he stopped right there Lisa had a hand on his shoulder, “How are you?” She asked Castiel just smiled “I’m good Lisa, how are you?” Lisa didn’t answer right away, she looked around Castiel. “Where is Dean?” she questioned “In the car”

Lisa laid a kiss on Emmas cheek, and then Castiel. “Don’t Lisa please?” Castiel begged he knew where she was going, Lisa chuckled. “Why do you live in this fantasy world?” She questioned. “I don’t understand?” He asked “You think he is in love with you. You think you actually matter to him, don’t forget Castiel he has no place for you in his heart. He only keeps you around because he has no other choice, wake up cassy he don’t care for you, he will never feel the love you have for him ever, the sooner you realize that the better.” Lisa left him, Castiel dragged the cart along, he’d spent an hour going isle to isle, putting in packages of frozen foods, fresh fruits he even bought pie, and some ice cream. The cashier smiled and winked at him as he played with Emma, he blushed quickly taking the bags of food and diapers. He came out in the parking lot, one glimpse at Deans car had him running back in tears. Dean pulled his lips away from Lisa “What?” she asked Dean said nothing, just looked around finding no one in the parking lot, Dean returned to kissing her.

Castiel only cried, he didn’t know what else to do? He only sat on the curve of the road hugging Emma tight, making sure she was warm enough, it was a cold night. Two hours. That’s how long he sat there, before getting up to check the parking lot, only to find nothing there. The store was closing, Castiel took the groceries and ran inside the store finding the cashier that was trying to flirt with him, she showed him to the phone, and he dialed for Dean. Sadly it went to voicemail, “Dean um please can you come get me, you forgot me at the store. If you aren’t here in thirty minutes, um I’ll start walking home, maybe you can find me in the way, please I will be taking the sho-” the connection had gone down maybe a phone glitch. The lights of the store began to shut, one by one the cashier, that let him use the phone walked him out. He sat on the curve of the road, waiting another half an hour, time passed, no Dean.

Castiel once more secured Emma in the sling, he picked up the groceries and began walking home. He walked for hours the lamps by the sidewalk, provided him enough light, it was late and he was afraid. By the time he’d made it home, Emmas diaper need it to be changed, she needed to be fed, and she was crying uncontrollably, Castiels feet were aching the bag was full of melted ice cream, his hands were swollen from having little blood flow to them, he was out of breath. He held Emma with one hand, while jumping up to try and get a hold of the key, he’d kept for emergencies. Grasping the key tight, he opened the door, he could have collapsed any second now, but he had to take care of Emma and the groceries first. He set the bags down, Emma was first, he filled the sink with warm water, he took her dirty clothes got rid of the diaper. he took the baby shampoo, he always kept a bottle in the kitchen, thank fully enough she quieted down. The moment he got her cleaned up, “look at you all nice and clean.” He laid a kiss on her wet hair, she was giggling, Castiel felt happy, he stepped up the stairs opened his bedroom door. The sight had him in tears, she was there in their bed with him again.

 Oh good his heart was burning with pain, he shut the door with a thud, not as hard as he meant too. He went into the nursery laying her down, waiting till she was a sleep, he went back to the groceries, he was already in tears after seeing his husband with her. He just let it go; he broke out in sobs after he took out the melted tub of ice cream. He put it in the freezer, setting everything away he took the diapers and baby shampoo, laying them out in their right place, he remembers crying himself to sleep that night in a rocking chair. When he’d awoken three hours later from Emmas crying, there wasn’t a bottle. “Ugh how am I going to deal with another baby? All they do is poop, eat, and cry. “Cas complained as he entered the kitchen, he started making the bottle completely unaware that Dean was sitting on the dining table. “Where were you cas?” he nearly dropped the bottle, he jumped almost an inch of the ground, holding the bottle in position ready to battle. “What was rule number two cas?” Dean asked Cas gulped, think stupid think, he told himself. “I don’t remember?” Dean didn’t get up from his chair he didn’t punch him he just stared.

Castiel took that as cue to think harder; he shut his eyes for a couple of seconds. “If I leave you, in one place you stay in that place, till I come get you.” Cas recited from a blurry memory. “What did I say last night, when I dropped you off at the store?” Castiel gulped. “I Dean, I am so sorry I…Dean it was cold and Emma was restless.” Castiel whispered. What happened next, had their uninvited guest screaming. “DEAN.” he’d punched Castiel in the jaw so hard, the bones cracked, and punch after punch landed on his cheek bone. “Dean. Stop. I think you just broke his jaw.” Lisa yelled trying to get a hold of Dean’s arm. “I went back for you, I looked for you everywhere, don’t lie to me you dumb piece of shit, you expect me to believe that you walked home three miles.” Castiel barely registered any of his words his ears were ringing. Lisa was on cas in seconds checking his injuries. “You broke his jaw. “


	5. Chapter 5

Dean took a hold of Lisa by the arm pulling her up. “Go home Lisa.” Dean ordered. Castiel was a bloody mess Dean leaned down taking the bottle of milk, he left his husband, bleeding and broken once more. He’d fed his daughter, Emma burped thankfully she didn’t spit up milk at him again. He was laying her down, when his phone fell out of his jacket, right into her crib. It was flashing; shit not another business call, the last thing he’d wanted tonight was to hear some rich shady man trying to buy his business. He picked it up a voice mail, oh well let’s get it over with. He pressed the phone against his ear voicemail. “Dean um please can you come get me you forgot me at the store, If you aren’t here in thirty minutes, um I’ll start walking home maybe you can find me in the way please I will be taking the sho-” He looked down at Emma “Papas a dumb ass isn’t he” he asked putting his fingers to Emmas cheek, Emma pouted and made an eh noise in response trying to take Deans fingers in her mouth. He laughed kissing her head, “I love you.”

He whispered to her kissing her cheek, he dimmed the lights leaving the room he went to the kitchen the sight didn’t shock him much at all. Cas was one of those people who had to have their kitchen spotless, cas was on all fours scrubbing the drops of blood away. “Cas.”  Castiel sat up so quickly he bumped his head against a cabinet. “Are you hungry, I am sorry I didn’t make food, I brought pie and I even bought some ice cream? If you don’t want to eat that than, I can make some pasta, or anything else you like?” Another problem with Cas was when he was scared, he would babble on and on, Dean stepped up and took a hold of Castiels hand, put a finger to his bloody lips.

“I am sorry I am so sorry, I won’t forget our rules ever again. I promise please forgive Me.” he begged Dean wiped away his bloody finger on Castiels shirt; he took his face in his hands, his thumb pressing into his jaw trying to feel the damage. “Do you hear that?” Dean asked, Castiel looked around “hear what?” Castiel asked, Dean shut his eyes for a moment it sounded like a car heading for them, someone must have been driving too fast their house was on the curve of a road. He shook his head pressing deeper into the broken bones. Castiel whimpered and suddenly they both screamed, as chunks of broken dishes and wooden cabinets, flew right at them both of their bodies slamming into the floor. Dean was on top of Castiel holding him tight, Dean was covered in rubble. Castiel was hugging him tight Dean didn’t ask if he was alright, he looked around the worst possible thing happened there was car in their kitchen. What in the fucking hell? There was a car in their fucking kitchen? A real damn car in their kitchen, Dean stood up slowly helping Castiel up.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Dean screamed a boy no older than sixteen stepped out of the car, “Fuck my dad’s going to kill me?” Dean took a step forward about ready to punch the kid in the face his arm raised, but the moment he did he cried out in pain. “GUYS.” Castiel turned around to see Sam standing in the door way. “What the fuck?” Sam screamed he dropped the bags out of his arms. “Is the room spinning?” Castiel asked Dean turned his attention to Castiel, “what?” Castiel looked around “The room it’s spi.” The sentence never finished Castiel collapsed in Dean’s arms, who groaned in pain from having too much pressure on his what he b believed was now his broken arm.

“Pull some eggs out, we’ll make an omelet.” Castiel groaned. “I Don’t want it.” do you ever have one of those moments? Where you just can’t get out of bed like physically can’t get up? It hurts to open your eyes. Castiel didn’t want to open his eyes, but he had no choice he opened his eyes everything was a big blur. “Dean” He called out. “And he awakens.” Castiel turned his body pushing a hand down into the soft cushion, trying to get some support to sit up. “NO. Lay back down cas.” Adam yelled, Castiel rested his head down. “What happened?” he asked Adam laughed, “A car drove through your kitchen, and the two of you nearly died.” Adam explained, “Dean. Where is Emma?” Castiel yelled “She’s fine” Adam stepped, aside letting Castiel see Emma sleeping in a new crib. “Deans fine too, he’s got a broken arm and a lot of bruises and wounds other than that he’s okay.” Adam placed a hand on Castiels face kissing his bruised cheek, “Don’t worry, you are okay. If you want to get up do it very slowly.”

Castiel did so pushing up ever so slowly, he stepped into the kitchen, “Hey” Sam dropped the carton of milk running to hug Castiel, he hugged back just as tight, Castiel felt a hand on his shoulder gently squeezing, Sam let him go. Castiel turned around to find Deans blank face no emotion, Castiel raised his hand resting it on his face, they had matching bruises on their faces. He quickly pulled away knowing Dean had strict rules about touching. “what did I miss?” He asked Sam pulled out a frying pan from the knocked over cabinet. “Drunk teenager, drove through the kitchen, you passed out Dean beat the hell out of the kid, cops came arrested him, and we’ve just spent the-” Adam pauses to take a look at his watch, “Past six hours cleaning and taking care of Emma.” Castiel wanted to sit back down once more, “so congratulations on the pregnancy.” Sam spoke up Dean rolled his eyes, “I had to tell him. “ Castiel just smiled “Hey Dean can you go get us some take outs, or something I can’t cook in this mess.” Sam tossed the pan in the pile of dust.

Dean made a face one of his, are you kidding me face, he held up his arm. “I’ll drive.” Adam offered “Bitch,” Dean muttered Sam smiled “Jerk” Castiel only laughed ushering them out of the door, “So did you two have a fight?” Sam asked tossing more broken dishes aside, Castiel shook his head “oh no we didn’t fight.” Sam grabbed him by the shoulder, turning him around. “You expect me to believe, that these bruises and cuts happened, because you got buried under all this?” Sam gestured to the mess on the floor. “I’m pregnant Sam, Dean doesn’t want me he doesn’t want this child. Castiel stopped his breathing picking up, his hands began shaking.  “I don’t deserve kindness, I don’t deserve anything. I am a monster, why don’t you hate me Sam? Why are you so kind to me? Why don’t you hate me”? He began yelling Sam didn’t reply right away.

He just hugged him tight, Castiel only cried harder.  He’d cried and kept crying, Sam only made shushing sounds. “It wasn’t your fault. It never was cas you need to go easy on yourself, you were just trying to help.” Sam kissed his head wiped his tears away. “You have to stop taking all this stress, cas just smile and be happy, I am here we are all here so don’t you worry cas, I’m going to make it all okay.” Sam assured he took Castiel taking him up the stairs he made sure to get, cas comfortable in bed before leaving him to rest. By the time Dean had arrived back Sam had a high pile of well everything, that was broken. They ate Dean quietly put a box of takeout aside for Castiel, in the fridge Sam smirked and Dean scowled at him. “So what now are you going to hire a contractor or something?” Dean shook his head.

“I was hoping to save this for a more pleasant time.” Dean started “There was this house; a nice old house has four bedrooms.” This house only had three and as nice as it was. The place was tight and sometimes, it felt too congested, this was not a place Dean wanted Emma to be raised. “It’s fixer upper but you know, it’s got lots of space in the back yard, and it’s got this nice picket fence, and plus we’ve got another kid on the way. When it does arrive we’re going to need more space.” One problem down. “What about this place?” Sam asked Dean didn’t know, what to say he’d only had enough money for that new house. “Well I could either do repairs on this place or move into another place,”

“Move into another place,” the three brothers spoke in unison, once again they spent hours tossing everything in trash, Castiel had woken up and made it down stairs, Dean was laying on the living room floor Emma on his chest, he blew on her tummy. Dean sat up putting her down, in his lap he covered his face. “Where’s papa?” he asked Castiel had a hand on his stomach now, a smile on his lips. “Maybe we will be okay.” he took slow steps over standing behind Dean, he stuck his tongue out, Emma began giggling Dean looked up. “Sorry I slept in.” Dean didn’t say anything; he just went back to entertaining his daughter. “Hold her I’m going to go shower.” Castiel picked up Emma handing her over to Sam, who gladly took her.

“We saved you a box of take outs eat up.” Adam set the food down; Castiel was halfway done with his food. “CAS” Dean called out for him; Castiel put the fork down and ran up the stairs to their bedroom. “Yes Dean.” Dean wasn’t in the room, “Get in here.” cas put a hand over his eyes before pulling the bathroom door open, “Wash my back,” Dean ordered Castiel peeked his way into the bath, the water was off, Castiel took a wash cloth. He kept his eyes down bad idea, blood began boiling to his face, and his husband had an amazing ass. Dean turned around now Castiels eyes were down on Dean’s private part. His face turned even redder, he looked up his head bumped into Dean Chin, “Sorry.” Deans smirk was back if there was one, he really liked about Castiel was, how he would blush at the sight of Dean naked. Castiel washed down his chest. “We need new dishes,” Dean told him, Castiel scrubbed his stomach. “After we are done, let’s go shopping, we’ll eat out tonight.” Castiel nodded his head; he let Dean wash up alone “Are you blushing?” Adam laughed “Emma look at daddy he’s blushing.”

“I’m driving.” Sam shouted Dean shook his head and gave a glare. “I’ll be careful.” Sam said Dean was grumpy the whole ride to the store, Sam sometimes really hated going shopping with Dean. Dean was like freaking five year old in a candy store, all he wanted was the candy and all the unhealthy junk food he could find. While Sam filled up bags with everything that was actually healthy, as Dean put everything down in the cart, Sam worked to get rid of it. “I’m going to get some beer.” Dean said excitedly running off to the cooler. “I never pictured you to be the one to settle down.” the pack of beers nearly slipped out of Dean’s hands. “Hello squirrel.” ah fuck another long story to tell. “Crowley.” Dean greeted the other man just smiled “It’s good to see you, you look good.” Crowley patted his broken arm, he walked away.

 Dean tossed the beer pack aside and made a run for it. He’d searched isle through isle till he found Castiel at the very end of the store, he got a tight grip on his arm and pulled him aside. “Get in the car lock the door.” Dean ordered taking the set of dishes out of his hands, and pushed the keys to the impala in his hand, he kissed Emmas head. He didn’t give Castiel a chance to even ask what was wrong. He just pushed him towards the door he went to find Sam, “Dean” Great Dean thought, “Benny” he questioned “what the fuck is going on?” Dean demanded an answer. “Crowley is recruiting; a big hunt Dean, we could use someone with your skills.” Dean shook his head “Benny I walked out, remember I walked out, I have a daughter and another one on the way, I’m done hun-““so you finally put a ring on Lisa?” Dean shook his head, “his names cas.” Bennys jaw dropped. “Cas as in, Castiel the whore, the whore that Crowley owned you married that.” Benny asked in shock, “Look again fuck man long story, I promise I’ll explain it to you one of these days get Crowley off my back, I’m out of the hunting business I gotta run.” Dean quickly scribbled down his number, and ran out of the store.

“Is everything alright?” Castiel asked Dean didn’t reply at all, he just sat there head tossed back. If someone had taken Emma away from him that would kill him, it would destroy him. His old life was hard; he’d taken care of both of his brothers since he was seven. He’d refused to be separated from his brothers, he did things while growing up a lot of things, he wasn’t proud of. He’d never be able to tell, Sam how he’d put him through law school, how he’d gotten that house, how he’d even gotten Adam into medical school. Because even though Adam had topped out of three hundred students, The damn board didn’t let him in, because of his track record. Dean had hassled, he’d sold drugs he’d hunted down people for a living, he’d even killed. He came to a point where he was turning his life around now; it was all coming to bite him in the ass…again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up writing two chapter hope you enjoy please do comment.


	6. Chapter six

“Hello Castiel.” Castiel held Emma tighter, Castiel was always scared of strangers. Not that he had anything against them, it’s just he didn’t know them, and Deans rules wre; that under no circumstances, was he to mingle with them that was a big no. “I’m Gabriel.” Castiel hesitatingly took a hold of this mans hand, who went by Gabriel. “Come inside please.” Castiel said, Gabriel leaned over and made a face at Emma, “She is just adorable.” Emma only blinked at the odd man making faces at her, she giggled and tried to put her fingers in her mouth, Castiel shook his head.

“are you alright?” Castiel asked Gabriels eyes were wet brimming with tears, ready to unleash a flood, Gabriel nodded his head. “I’m alright allergies, sorry.” He murmured, “Hey babe.” Sam greeted Gabriel with a hug, “I see you’ve already met Castiel,” Sam gestured him towards Dean. “This is Dean.” Dean looked up from the papers he was reading, “Hello.” He greeted. Last week Dean had woken up to a phone call from a strange man, asking if he could have a look at their house. Dean of course said yes and now here they were happily chatting away, looking around the house; only problem their now four week old daughter would not go to sleep.

Castiel put her down on the dining table, “Please Emma sleep.” He pleaded desperately, snapping his fingers as if it could work like a magic tring if only, Emma giggled and reached to grab onto her daddy’s moping face, she raised up her arms and babbled happily, blowing spit bubbles, Castiel laughed at her as she revealed a toothless gummy smile. Despite the complete exhaustion, Emma was staying five hours past her bed time, she just would not fall asleep, Castiel had just a bit of energy to smile bright. “I really am sorry, for coming here so late.” Gabriel apologized they were now in the kitchen.

“It’s alright, so Gabriel what do you do?” Gabriel pulled on the thin piece of wood “I could renovate this, I own a bakery actually, had this big order for a wedding cake.” Gabriel answered while investigating, as Gabriel looks around he can’t stop thinking of his brother, he can’t tell him that would hurt him. Sam told him, he doesn’t remember who he is; he barely remembers who he himself is. He shouldn’t tell him, who he is just not yet now that he is close enough. He can’t help but think, of the big sacrifices his brother must have made for this life, and how much pain must he be taking right now. Emma was beautiful she looked so much like Castiel, yet she had the eyes of Dean bright green eyes with dark brown hair, and just one look at her smiling would lift any worries off of your shoulder.

“May I?” Gabriel asked Dean picked her up putting her in Gabriels arms; he smiled at her she just blinked owlishly at him. Castiel had no idea what Gabriel did, but he had Emma asleep in his arms within five minutes. He handed her over to Dean, “How?” Dean asked, Gabriel smiled in return “it’s a gift.” He whispered carefully unhooking Emmas fingers from the pocket of his shirt.  “I have to call the bakery, and check up on them if you’ll excuse me.”  Castiel smiled “The backyard is that way.” Castiel pointed to a glass door across the living room, Gabriel quickly made his way outside.

Sam followed “gabe?” Sam asked he didn’t like it when his boyfriend would cry, it broke his heart, he walked over and pulled him in a hug, Gabriel began to cry all over him. “It’s alright.” he whispered laying soft kisses on his head, Gabriel just hugged him tighter he shut his eyes. an old memory flashing past his eyes.

_“Go to sleep NOW.” Castiel whimpered pouting even more, clutching oreo closer to his chest, this man, The yellow eyed man was so scary, he was so mean to them. Castiel couldn’t sleep he laid in bed once more trying to tuck himself in, half an hour passed. Not being able to sleep, he became so frustrated, he pushed the sheets back grabbed oreo, with difficulty he pushed the heavy metal door open, only enough to squeeze out. He ran all the way to the end of the hallway, they were being punished; Castiel had behaved very rudely lost their mark that cost them more punishment. Their master knowing Castiel hated being away from Gabriel, put them both at separate ends of the hallway.  
_

_He snuck out and finally he snuck in “Gabey I can’t sleep.” he whispered, Gabriel was already asleep, he tossed oreo at his head, “Wake up.” he yelled Gabriel groaned opening his eyes “I can’t sleep” Castiel cried, Gabriel grabbed oreo, getting out from under the sheets, he took Castiel picking him up by the waist, Castiel hugged him around the neck, rested his head on the shoulder, his tiny legs around his waist. Gabriel held him tight arms around his lower back; he took slow steps wobbling his way to Castiels room. He rubbed his back a couple of times, rocked him back and forth, and Castiel was sound asleep in his arms.  He got Castiel in bed, he laid next to him, the next morning when he was punished by being branded, by a burning hot metal rod, he knew it was all the worth it. He’d take any punishment if it meant that, he could just keep Castiel close and put him to bed every night it was worth any punishment._

“I bet 50 he is.” Adam tapped his hand down on the table. “I bet 100 he isn’t.” Dean said “I bet five kisses, from Emma that he isn’t.” Castiel piped in. “I’m telling you Sam’s a bottom.” Dean laughed, “No way in hell, Sam is not a bottom” Both brothers turned to Castiel. “I do not believe that, Sam is bottoming to Gabriel.” A light blush crept up Castiels cheek, he felt odd for thinking about such things. “Sorry about that.” Gabriel apologized as he and Sam entered back in Dean winked, “So you are Gabriel, the one that my brothers been secretly dating, for a while now?” Dean questioned. “Is that alright?” He asked “Yeah I suppose that’s alright” Dean answered, “I don’t mind, Sams old enough to make his own decisions, just know that you break his heart and I’ll break your neck.” Dean warned Gabriels eyes widened “I promise I won’t.” Gabriel quickly said

“I should get going.” Sam and Gabriel looked at each other awkwardly trying to shake hands, hug, and kiss at the same time. “Oh for god sake just kiss already.” Adam quickly covered Castiels mouth, giving them an awkward smile “There is this county fair at the other side of town, I’m going to have a stand there for my bakery. It’s tomorrow why don’t you guys come along we could negotiate the price for this house.” Gabriel asked Sam grabbed a hold of him by his face pulling him in a deep kiss. Adam gave a low whistle; Gabriel was on his toes, hands buried in Sams hair. Sam pulled away, “I’ll bring them there,” Sam said Gabriel nodded turning to take his leave, he yelped when Sam slapped his bottom. “I’ll see you later.”

He asked Gabriel smiled he was out the door, and Sam turned to glare at his brothers. “I’m not a bottom.” He clarified adam took out a note of 50 dollars he handed it over to Dean, Castiel took his leave to bed. A week had passed since the hole in the kitchen Sam, Dean and Adam had spent most of the week cleaning up and trying to cover up the hole in the kitchen. They hadn’t really done anything else. Dean had kept his distance from Castiel, they’d been distant Dean didn’t touch him, didn’t yell at him, he wasn’t changing his mind he wasn’t kind. Castiel knew it was only. Because his brothers were around, it was the same routine this night when Emma cried it was Castiels turn to get up.

Did he mention they were taking turns and tonight was his turn; he’d fed her made it down to the kitchen. “DEAN.” Castiel was jumping up and down in a complete panic, “What?” Dean had jumped down the stairs, nearly tripping over the damn carpet, he had a gun ready, safety off ready to kill instead, and he got an armful of his husband trying to wrap his arms around him. While still holding the gun, Dean held cas up with one arm. Cas had his legs wrapped tight around his waist, “What?” Dean asked Castiel only shook in his arms, “Damn it Cas WHAT?” He yelled Castiel just pointed back down on the floor. “What the fuck is that?” he yelled trying to step back, “Holy fuck that’s big.” He yelled

Sam was the second one up, he ran down hand wrapped around a baseball bat, ready to kill whatever the hell there was. He found Dean on the floor with Cas on top of him, clinging onto him with his life, he followed the finger pointed to the kitchen. Well that explained everything, Castiel had a fear of bugs, and of all the things there were two big well not big but fucking enormous cockroaches on the floor. Sam stepped on them with bare feet, Dean helped Castiel stand up, Castiel looked down at the squashed bugs, he pulled back from Dean, his stomach suddenly jumped his mouth watered a gross taste, “are you about to puke?” Dean asked stepping away from him, Castiel barely made it to the trash bin he’d puked all of his dinner out.

“Did you have morning sickness, when you carried Emma?” Adam asked Castiel caught a whiff of adams cologne, and he was off to the trash can puking his breakfast out. So Dean answered for him, “barely, he was mostly on bed rest, after he nearly broke his back, he puked only a couple of times from what I remember.” Dean answered adam read on in his text book. “Alright well it’s just normal, the pregnancy is making him extra sensitive, so just go easy on him.” Castiel wiped his mouth, Dean handed him a glass of water rinsing his mouth Castiel groaned, there was puke all over his shirt

“Come on I’ll help you get re dressed.” Sadly another shirt ruined the laundry, had not been done yet. “Here just wear this.” Sam said forcing Castiels puke stained shirt off, he forced Dean’s t shirt on him first than a button up shirt. He tugged Castiel down stairs; Dean gave him a look, expecting a yell or a demand to go change. “Wear a jacket.” He ordered Castiel quickly did so putting on a plain black jacket, he slipped into his shoes, he reached to grab Emma but Dean already had Emma in the car. Castiel got ready to sit in the back with Emma but Sam tugged him aside, “Emma look at what I got?” He said happily showing her a sock puppet, Castiel went to the other side, Adam took the other seat, Castiel sat in the front, right next to Dean.

The ride was quiet long; Castiel sat silently tapping his foot to the music. “Gabe.” Sam screamed from the car ready to jump out of the car. “Don’t you dare open the door?” He screamed fuck the parking lot was full, Dean let them off while he went to find a parking. Castiel kept Emma in his arms their first stop was Gabriels stand. Castiel set her down in the middle, all around her plates of sweets, making for one sweet attraction. “Hi.” Sam greeted Gabriel with a deep kiss. “Well hello to you too.” Gabriel said giving him another peck, “Hi Cas.” Gabriel greeted “Hello,” Castiel said with a smile “Guys I gotta run see you in a bit.” Adam said patting, Sam on the shoulder he ran off, Gabriel quickly pulled out some cupcakes, putting one on castiels palm.

“OHGOD.” Castiel moaned at the first taste of chocolate icing, Gabriel smiled he piled on a tray of more cupcakes. “Wait no cas, not that one no alcohol for you.” Sam said pulling a beer flavored cupcake off of the small tray; Castiel whined wanting the cupcake back he quickly finished another one. “Why can’t he have alcohol?” Gabriel asked another cupcake gone with in half a minute “he’s pregnant.” Gabriels face went blank from shock “Whoa damn, Dean needs another hobby.” Sam laughed kissing his cheek continuing to move boxes around trying to make everything perfect. “Did you just feed him a cupcake?” Dean asked taking a hold of his face his thumb wiping down the chocolate mustache; he placed his thumb in his mouth.

“Why? what happens when you feed him sugar?” Gabriel asked “This is really good,” Dean commented reaching down to get one for himself, only to have it snatched away by cas. “That’s what happens.” Dean said pointing to Castiel sitting on the grass devouring cupcakes, Gabriel hunched over brusting out in laughs suddenly remembering an old memory.

_“Shh.” Gabriel put a finger over Castiels tiny lips. “We’re sneaking in remember?” Castiel nodded grabbing the tail of Gabriel’s t-shirt, once more. The store was closed and as far as Gabriel had seen there was no one around, they had nowhere to go, they were hungry and in desperate need of a shower. Gabriel took Castiels hand, and ram out of the bathroom, Gabriel walked around, while Castiel stood staring at a small teddy bear that sat right next to a bottle of bleach. Castiel reached for the bear unaware, the tiny leg was trapped underneath a big bottle of bleach. He reached up standing on his toes, he tugged the bear down the bottle of bleach fell with a thud, splitting open with a crack. Castiel held up the bear protecting his face making sure, it didn’t get on his face; the drops of bleach fell on the bear Castiel ran._

_“Gabey?” Castiel called out Gabriel popped from behind a big shelf, “Over here.” Castiel quickly ran to his brother “What’s that?” Castiel asked pointing at the mug in Gabriel’s hand. “It’s a drink, for big boys.” Gabriel said taking another sip, “I want it I’m a big boy.” Castiel said trying to stand on his toes, Gabriel handed the mug over, Castiel drowned the extra warm sweet coffee. Gabriel gathered up clothes, and packed snacks, Castiel on the other hand was browsing through the isles, he dropped oreo the moment he’d laid eye on all the candy, decorated up on shelves. It was heaven. By the time Gabriel had found him Castiel had the teddy bear trapped between his pits, and hands full of candy, and pockets full of them too, he was talking as if he was a toy that you could wind up and release and it would just go on and on. And it just kept going on, don’t tell anyone, but Gabriel secretly loved it when Castiel had a sugar rush._

            “Are you going to vomit again?” Dean asked Castiel nodded his head his face begun to pale once more, Gabriel pulled out a bucket filled with wrappers, he emptied it out tossing the wrappers aside. He tossed the bucket at Dean who got Castiel to sit on a chair, Castiel puked once more, “walk around get some fresh air?” Dean said Sam pushed Dean aside offering his hand, “Come on cas let’s go explore.” Dean stood watching Sam take Castiel by the hand he watched them run off, while he sat with Gabriel holding Emma in his lap, Gabriel was cooing at Emma she blew spit bubbles back at him. Dean ate another cupcake. Loads of people stopped by taking sweets of the large table a couple people stopped to make Emma smile, while others moved on. An hour later Sam showed up without Castiel, “Where is cas?” Dean asked “He’s exploring on his own.” Sam took Emma out of his arms he and Gabriel began to play with her Dean shook his head “I’m going to go find him.”

            Castiel had his shoes in his own hands, walking on the wet grass, the walking around helped and his head felt less heavier than before, now he just wanted to explore, didn’t want any disturbances. But the universe hated him, he was nearly knocked off his feet, but the arms around him held him tight and in place. “fuck man I’m sorry,” Castiel blushed he felt the hot breath on his cheek, he pulled away from the older man. “It’s alright.” Castiel excused “sorry for bumping into you and so sorry for this?” Castiels face turned bright red the guy was kissing him.

            While Dean walked searching for Castile he’d expected to find him, most likely with his shoes in his hands walking on the grass. Browsing everything from afar not going too close he was shy, had the rustiest people skills Dean spotted him by his jacket, problem he was in the arms of his closest friend being kissed “Benny”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly i am so sorry for not being able to update.(Going through alot of family issues at the moment)   
> Secondly thank you all for your kind words, and support.   
> I have been writing alot lately will be updating new chapters every other day or so.   
> Lastly enjoy  
> Do comment. :)  
> Sorry for all the mess, on this chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the new chapter, sorry it's too short.   
> Will be updating another one in a couple of days.  
> Please do comment. :)

“Benny?” he asked confused as to why he was kissing his husband? Benny quickly pulled away from Castiel, he turned to Dean. “Tall, blond, big bust, still here?” Benny asked Dean laughed his eyes darting around. “No man she’s gone.” Benny backed away from Castiel. “I am so sorry man.” He apologized once more, Dean shrugged his shoulders “How are you feeling?” Dean asked Castiel “better.” Castiel muttered trying to lean down to put his shoes on again, “How about we take a walk cas?” Dean asked castiel sat on the cold wet grass, lacing up his shoes, he stood in time to see, benny patting Dean on the shoulder. Benny leaned in and whispered something Castiel didn’t hear it.

Deans smile had disappeared, and now he had Castiel close to him with his arm slung over his shoulder. “Why don’t we take a long nice walk?” Dean asked tugging Castiel along they were moving too fast, all around the place not stopping anywhere at all. “Dean stop. I feel dizzy.” Castiel begged, Dean gripped Castiel around the waist tight, dragging him along till they were away from the fare, and into a dark, and wet smelling alley, covered with dark black plastic curtains. Castiels shoes were soaked up from the filthy water. “did you see what way he went?” Castiel opened his mouth, but Dean put his hand over his open mouth. “No.” There was a pause, “Sir we can’t find him.” Castiels eyes widened at the response, “find them, and bring them to me alive.”  Dean didn’t take his hand off his mouth, not until he was sure the area was clear.

Deans hand was soaked from tears, Castiel fell to his knees, the noise that left his throat was what startled Dean. “Get up.” Dean ordered Castiels body shook, he raised his shaky hands, and got a tight grip on Deans jeans. “Please don’t.” he choked out, “Please, Dean I beg of you please, don’t give me back.” Dean grabbed a hand full of Castiels hair tugging him up, but Castiel gripped his jeans tighter. “I’ll be good, I’ll be a good whore if you want me to be master, please don’t give me back to him please I want to stay with you.” He begged he was choking on spit, he couldn’t breathe.

Dean pulled him up, gripping him tight by his hair, he raised his hand the sound of the slap, thank fully the sound of knuckles hitting against a bruised jaw set him straight. “Snap out of it, you aren’t going anywhere, I’m not giving you back. Not now, not ever do you understand? I won’t let them hurt you or our kids I promised, did I not?” Castiel nodded his head, “Not a peep out of you.” Dean warned he backed up cautiously peeking his head out, making sure no one was there, Dean gripped Castiels arm tight they once more made a run for it.

That night while Dean slept, Castiel laid awake. Hands covered his mouth, trying muffle his sobs, he didn’t want Dean to send him back. This was a risky move, but he did it anyway there was no way in hell, would he go back to Crowley. No. That was not an option anymore, no not a fucking chance. “shh.” He hushed Emma thankfully, Sam had decided to stay with Gabriel that night, and adam was with his mystery date, at exactly 12 A.M. he took Emma and made a run for it.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I messed up the orders of the chapters, sorry guys this is the real chapter eight.   
> Picks up right after the end of chapter seven.   
> This is a very short chapter.  
> Sorry once more.   
> Do enjoy and comment, they make my day.

Running away is not easy as it looks. Castiel had run away before back then, he had someone with him. Now he was alone with a child in his arms, and one rapidly growing inside him. It had been over an hour since he’d run away. Dean was probably sleeping right now, he had Emma asleep, he had money, he’d taken some out of Deans wallet. He knew he hadn’t made much of a progress, he was barely a couple mile away from home, the best thing he had was a bus stop, was there even a bus three in the morning?

It was the best thing, he had so he did just that, sat at the bench reading the route map that was on display, making sure to have it all memorized he wanted to make sure,  “How far did you think you were going to make it? And how long before I noticed you were missing?” Castiels body froze,  Dean took Emma out of Castiels arms putting her down in his own lap, he kissed her head Castiel didn’t turn around to face Dean, out of fear he was going to get hit.

“Have I ever gone back on my word cas?” Dean questioned Castiel shook his head, “Get in the car.” Castiel spotted the car, about a couple feet back from the bus stop. Dean himself got up holding Emma, he just expected Castiel to follow and Castiel did. The ride home was short and awkwardly silent; Dean didn’t say a thing and cas didn’t from fear of being yelled at. When they did arrive home, Castiel sat still opening his mouth to blurt out, “Why have you not yelled? Why did you come back for me?”

Dean unfastened Emma out of her seat, “Get inside.” Castiel didn’t move, “Don’t make me have to tell you twice.” Deans tone of voice, had Castiel out of the car, Castiel gripped the door tight. Dean walked past him putting Emma down in her crib, as Dean came down again Castiel was still in the same spot. “I feel dizzy.” This had never had happened, when he’d had Emma, he’d barely gotten sick, something was wrong. Emmas birth was easy, no complications nothing barely any morning sickness, nothing at all “Dean why do I feel so dizzy?” Castiel whimpered, Dean didn’t answer he just pulled Castiel in Dean locked the door.

“Consider this a free pass, remember how you spent most of your last pregnancy in bed because of your back?” Castiel nodded, as Dean paused to run a hand down his back, to his hips successfully carrying Castiel off his feet, he laid them in their bed tucking him in. “You don’t want a repeat of it, trust me.” Deans hand came to rest on his back, his fingers dug into his soft skin, Dean leaned in pressing his lips down on his forehead. “Goodnight cas.” Once more Dean slept peacefully, while Castiel spent most of the night crying, and trying to fight the impulse to run for his life.


	9. Chapter Nine

“Doing the walk of shame I see?” Sam jumped back his back bumping into the door; he bit his tongue, dropped his shoes and ran a hand through his post sex hair. “good morning.” He greeted Castiel tried hard to not to laugh, Sam was a mess love bites all over his neck, his shirt was on inside out, his lips were swollen, he’d expected to do the walk of shame quiet differently. “Don’t you ever sleep? It’s 5 in the morning.” Sam scolded, Castiel shook his head finishing up his glass of warm milk, and across from him was a full warm cup of coffee.

“Details,” Castiel demanded, Sam laughed “What details?” Sam asked Castiel whined he did a stop of his feet, Sam gave in.  “We had mind blowing sex, he had to go the bakery for this big order, so I took a cab home.” Sam said taking the coffee he leaned in and kissed Castiels head. “How was your night?” Castiel shrugged “Nothing much slept in, been feeling really dizzy, Dean said he would take me to the doctors today.” Castiel said “I’ll come with,” Sam said raising the cup to take a sip, Dean snatched it out of Sams grasp. “For what?” Dean asked taking sips of the coffee, Castiel automatically got up getting another cup of coffee for Sam.

“I have this rash.” Sam replied, Castiel handed the coffee to Sam, “A rash?” Dean asked making a face that had Sam pressing his lips in a thin line, “Go sleep, I’ll wake you up when it’s time to go.” Dean placed a hand down, Castiels back pushing him out of the kitchen.

 “Dean just step, outside please.” Castiel desperately tried to keep his grip on Deans arm, Dean on the other hand forced Castiels hands off his arm, making sure to lay him down on  the examination table. Dean exited the room, Sam stood his ground, “You too Sam.” She said putting a hand on his chest to push him out, “Can’t I stay cas gets so nervous around you, he needs me here.”  Sam said taking a seat right next to the examination table, “Sam really I have no reason, to make him nervous, step outside now. Please.” Sam shook his head and sat there looking at Castiel, he petted his hair.

“Sam seriously don’t make me call Dean.” Sam sighed he looked down at Castiel, “If you need me, I’ll be right outside okay.” Castiel tensed up, “I swear every time we meet, you tense up so bad why is that cas?” Castiel made a face only, Dean called him cas. “Oh sorry forgot only your husband, gets to call you that right?” She asked Castiel didn’t respond, he laid there taking her sarcastically rude comments. “Dean.” Lisa called out Dean was in the examination room in seconds, Castiel jumped back trying to cover himself in the paper gown. “Oh hold on I forgot one of files be right back, in the meantime why don’t you get changed Castiel.” Dean stood smirking watching a quivering Castiel strip out of his paper gown, to put on his clothes.

“Why don’t you guys sit down?” Lisa asked hoping Sam wouldn’t come in, but Sam did so anyway, he took a seat right next to cas, a big smirk on his lips. “So what’s up with cas?” Lisa lips turned downwards in a frown “well, it’s just normal morning sickness, nothing to be worried about. The thing you do have to worry about it is that he is losing weight he’s border line underweight as it is, that makes the chances of a miscarriage very high. Reduce his stress levels feed him and he should be alright, here’s a list of some vitamins you should buy for him.” Dean took the paper work and Castiel out of the examination room, Sam smiled sitting there, “So what can I do for you Sam?” Lisa asked Sam stood and pulled his shirt off, turning around to show her his scratched back, lisas eyes widened.

“Gabe loves rough sex, if you wouldn’t mind cleaning up the mess.” Sam asked lisa didn’t answer she just dabbed them clean, Sam put his shirt back on. “Hey lisa can I offer you, a piece of advice?” Sam offered he didn’t let her answer, with a yes or no. “You are a good doctor, really you are and I would hate for you, to lose your license.” Once again lisa opened her mouth to say something, but Sam once more didn’t give her the chance. “Stop screwing around with Castiels head, stop trying to break him if this continues, if you give him any more stress lisa, if Castiel loses his child because of the treatment he’s receiving from you. Whether be it physical abuse or even mental, you will have me to answer to.” Shirt barely done, threat given, Sam made his way out a smile on his face. Dean helped Castiel in the car for once driving carefully, his eyes darting up from the mirror, to Castiel making sure he was not going to puke, he didn’t want any puke in his car.

“Sam stop it.” Castiel yelled in a hushed tone, trying to bat his hand away from what he was doing, “I’m almost done, and it’s washable.” Sam answered dotting the nose with a red marker “my little kittens.” Dean didn’t bother containing his laughter, he just quickly took out his phone snapping a picture, Castiel chuckled taking another mouthful of his soup. “Can we get that printed?” Sam continued to laugh “This is going to make a beautiful Christmas card.” Adam woke up from all the noise, “Well good morning kitten.” Everyone burst out laughing, Adam looked down to see Emma, with a drawn on whiskers and a red nose. “Very mature guys.”

He handed Emma over to Sam, “Tell me this is washable?” Adam asked trying to rub the whiskers off his face, Sam took another picture of his niece in his lap, Emma had also awoken her nose scrunched, and mouth open in a tiny yawn. Sam snapped more pictures, while Castiel had fallen asleep once more. “Get him upstairs, let’s start packing.” Sam said laying emma on the carpet, Dean had spent hours signing off the papers to their new home, by the end of the week he wanted to get out of there already, Castiel was afraid of bugs, so afraid that he’d nearly had a panic attack in the morning, thankfully Sam had pulled him aside and calmed him. Dean set Castiel in bed, he rolled his eyes when Castiel took a hold of his right hand, curling his arms successfully trapping his hand to his warm chest, with his left hand he pulled his phone out of his right pocket. “Hey.” Dean greeted a big smile on his lips. “I lied?” lisa blurted from the other side of the phone “About what?” Dean asked nudging Castiel aside to sit down, in an awkward position.

“Look, fuck Dean Castiel is not okay he is underweight, stressed, pretty broken and bruised I mean his dislocated jaw barely healed, strip him down look at the rest of his body he is broken up pretty bad, Dean he needs to terminate this pregnancy ASAP.”

“I though his jaw was broken?” Dean asked he could practically see lisa rolling her eyes. “Not important right now, Dean please just terminate this pregnancy, seriously it really isn’t worth it.” she yelled back   
           

“No.” Dean answered “Give me another option.” Dean asked not aware of his hand shaking in Castiels grip. “Bed rest, complete bed rest feed him, get his strength back up and ease up on the sex go slow on him , Dean listen I have to go out of town for a couple of weeks for a doctors convention, find another doctor for time being.” Dean shut his phone, tossing it to the other side of bed, he pulled his arm out from Castiels grasp. “Hey you okay?” Dean looked up to find adam in the door way with a freshly washed face. “It’s fine let’s move the couch.” Dean took adam by the arm dragging him out of the room, leaving their bedroom door open.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for all the mess of the chapters back there.   
> I am back with another chapter hope you like.   
> Please do comment. They make me so happy.

Two hours later the couch was still unmoved, mostly because an hour and 45 minutes ago Castiel had awoken, wanting ice cream. Not having any in their freezers, thanks a lot adam, it took about thirty five minutes to make a trip to the store, that thank you Sam for taking up most of his time. Castiel had been sitting on the couch, feet tucked under his thighs bucket of ice cream half eaten, thanks Castiel for not sharing and on top of it all he was refusing to move. “Let’s just pick it up, and move him and couch all together.” Dean suggested tears began to fill up Castiels eyes threatening to spill over Sam backed away “This one is all on you.” Dean sighed letting Castiel have just this one moment of happiness, cause he knew worst things were headed their way.

So ignoring the couch they continued to empty out the living room. Another hour later Dean gave a roll of eyes, before leaning down to scoop up Castiel in his arms seating him down in the stairs. “Alright on three lift.” Sam ordered the couch, old and worn out was lifted from the ground, with a bit difficulty at that exact moment the couch was lifted, Castiel could see the muscles rippling, the light layer of sweat that covered his body. His blood began rushing down south, he quickly covered his slight hard on with his hands. At this moment all he wanted was for his husband, to take him right there in the stairs, or maybe on the now empty living room floor.

They hadn’t had sex for a couple of weeks now, Dean hadn’t been touching him well, Dean really hadn’t done anything, he’d taken cas to the doctor appointments. Maybe this was a sign, fuck cas no. NO. stop just fucking stop thinking already.’ Castiel told himself the last time he’d mistaken, Deans kindness that time it was scary just very scary,  he completely ignored his own needs. That hurt so bad the feeling that feeling of hope, you have for something, it hurts when you realize that it doesn’t mean crap, to that other person seriously it hurts so fucking bad. He sat there for just a couple of minutes before, Dean was pressing his lips to his forehead Castiels heart beat sky rocketed, “Stop thinking so much, I can practically see the smoke.” Dean blew air by his ear pretending to blow out smoke.

“Come on,” Dean took him by his hands carefully leading him down the stairs. Sam sat on the floor watching them, something was up Dean was doing it again the last time he had seen him be so kind was, when Castiel had fell and injured his back. Now Dean was showing the same kindness, it wasn’t until later when adam had requested that he take Emma for a walk, Castiel had shyly asked Dean if he was allowed to go with. Dean warned him to be careful with Castiel, as they left Sam sat down with Dean on the cold wooden floor.

“What did Lisa really say?” Sam asked Dean didn’t answer. “Dean something is up, what the hell is going on?” Dean looked up at Sam “She said to terminate the pregnancy.” oh strike one “She recommended that, it would be best if he was on to abort because she is sure that this pregnancy is not good.” Strike two “Castiel doesn’t know yet?” Sam asked Dean nodded his head “What the hell is going on with my life?” Dean complained “You should divorce him.” Sam said that only to get a reaction out of him. “Seriously you should do it, I mean come on Dean lets face it. Castiel is totally in love with you, and you, look I know that you have been with lisa for a while now. You really should divorce cas let him have custody of Emma and the unborn child.”

Sam paused waiting for a punch, a yell or anything at all nothing not yet at least. “Why have you forgiven him?” Dean asked “how can you forget, what the hell happened that night?” Dean asked. “I haven’t forgotten, I’ve just…Dean you remember jess, right oh god I loved that woman so much, I thought our relationship was perfect. I was angry Dean all the fucking time, all I ever felt was anger; I don’t know why I was angry it screwed up our relationship so bad. I, she walked away the day I proposed to her, she walked away telling me, she couldn’t deal with it anymore, she couldn’t deal with my anger, I was so angry all the freaking time. I had nightmares I was afraid I was so angry, all the fucking time I woke up to nightmares, of our house on fire watching our parents die, I wanted to find them and kill them. I was destroying myself and my whole life, because of that one thing. Dean Castiel was fuck how old was cas? This was not his fault, Dean he was just a kid who’d been forced into hell. How the fuck was a kid supposed to know, what he was doing? Dean I went in therapy.”

Dean laughed Sam gave him a bad look “it didn’t help, than I met Gabriel, I was in love. I didn’t want to screw this up, he was there for me, he helped me get rid of my anger, to move on with my life I was a mess and he showed me how to move on. I can’t live the rest of my life, taking my anger out on the man, I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to have children with him, Dean I want to raise kids with him, I can’t let my anger destroy all of that. I really think you should divorce him, let him go Dean. If you can’t, than you better stop with all you are putting him through. Just stop and take a week to realize, that cas does a lot of crap for you, seriously you need to realize that there has been a lot of crap that he does for you. Dean if you can’t even see how much he loves you, how much he does for you, you have no need for him let him go walk away from him.” Sam said Dean sat there looking at Sam, he had nothing to say back, he didn’t even know what to say. “Dean please just stop being so angry, it’s doing no good for you.” Sam left him there to his own thoughts.

“Dean,” Castiel was shaking him awake, Dean opened his eyes, “What is it?” he asked Castiel was shaking a little sweaty, “I had a nightmare.” Castiel whispered, Dean groaned pushing the blanket back, he patted the space next to him, Castiel quickly latched himself to Deans body, hugging him around the stomach, his head on his chest. “Thank you Dean.” Dean only made an incoherent noise, before slipping right back into sleep. He woke up though about six hours later to Emmas wailing, the moment he looked down. He had to blink a couple of times to take in the sight, Castiel was a sleep his pink lips parted, bit of drool on his chest, and he was holding him tight from the waist, his legs, oh fuck he hated the whole legs tangling crap, oh another fuck, he himself was holding Castiel by the waist, Dean resisted the urge to shove him off.

He carefully turned till Castiel was on his back and he was on top of him, his lips pressed into his neck, Castiel also made a noise, Dean quickly got up going to check on his daughter. He held her up away from himself she didn’t smell probably needed her bottle, which was empty a hand placed on his back, “Dean, sorry I got it, go back to sleep” Castiel said reaching for the bottle “gonna sit” Dean mumbled taking the only seat in that room, Castiels rocking chair while Castiel refilled the bottle Emma in his arms, Dean only watched he gave a cough that made Castiel turn to face him. Dean only patted his leg, Castiel placed Emma in his lap, Dean laughed taking Castiel by the hand, he tugged him in till he was in his lap, Emma on Castiels thighs being fed.

By the time the bottle was empty, Castiel was asleep his head tucked in between Deans shoulder and neck, Emma was awake her own fingers in her mouth, staring at her fathers. “how is that chair able to hold them both?” adam wondered out loud Sam smiled, he’d undone a couple of screws, oh come on he needed a good laugh, he went in and grabbed Emma, Castiel tucked himself in Deans body his weight shifting, Sam took Emma down stairs he laughed when he heard the creak of wood and then two loud voices. “And that Emma is how your favorite chair broke, but don’t you worry uncle Gabriel, and I are going to build you another.” Sam promised.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My new semester is starting on Monday, so updates might get a bit slow.  
> For now enjoy this chapter i hope to have another one finished by tonight.   
> Please do comment, they fuel my brain.

Dean didn’t mean to make a habit out of it, it just sort of happened ever since, he’d woken up he’d been silently watching Castiel, nearly all day he’d observed for hours. Castiel was so quiet he’d barely speak, he had routine wake up three to four times a night, very little sleep, breakfast was always made on time, and he’d been sitting with them around the dining table. He’d always be taking care of Emma, if not he’d help pack up the bruises on his face had faded, his complexion was clear, he had his pregnancy glow back. He looked so good knocked up. he was always bit down on his bottom lip, Dean had never noticed how pink they were gorgeous pink lips, he felt the sudden need to take them in between his own lips, to bite them to make them swollen. He cooked a lot too it was like watching your own private cooking show, he looked like an expert and there was this odd thing that cas was around, Dean pretty much 24/7taking care of his every need before he could even ask for a cup of coffee, cas would have it set in front of him, it was like that for everyone specially for Sam, he’d always be babying Sam.

All the freaking time, he was around him mostly, and why did that rubbed him the wrong way? All of sudden it was like he had that sudden feeling, where he needed to put his claim on Castiel, he seriously needed to stop now. “Are you not hungry Dean?” Castiel asked Dean looked up to see Castiel staring right at him. “I made your favorite, apple pie.” he nudged a plate of big slice towards him, Dean gives a tiny smile before digging in his pie, Castiel turns to take one last bite out of his own pie, Adam leans in and steals it off of his fork. Castiel laughed “Put your plates away, I’ll wash.” Sam offered “Emma needs a bath.” Cas had tried to feed her baby food, it didn’t turn out well, her new clothes ruined. He took her to their bathroom, he had her in a tiny tub, she was giggling her tiny feet kicking against the bubbly water, splashing away, Castiel let her as long as he got the baby food mess off of her. Dean was there too, Castiel hadn’t noticed yet, not until Emma made a tiny noise giggling at the cross eyes, Dean was doing for her, she raised her tiny arms throwing them down in water. Castiel laughed as he was splashed with soap water, once again Dean was observing, once more he walked by him sitting on the edge of the tub, once again just watching.

“Do you want me to wash your back?” Castiel asked reaching around Dean for the towel, Dean handed it over Castiel wrapped her up like a burrito, Dean laughed Castiel smiled Dean leaned in and took Emma out of his hands, “You have everything packed right.” Dean asked balancing Emma in one arm, Castiel nodded “good let’s start moving, everything by tonight.”  Dean smirked pushing aside a bit of messy hair back in place, cas always had the messiest hair always like he’d just wet his fingers and ran them through his hair. Castiel was not sure if he was breathing, Dean was actually paying attention to him, actually caring about him this was odd for him, he hadn’t seen Dean be this caring in a very long time. Castiel himself sat on the floor leaning against a wall, watching the three brothers move things around something was off with Dean, he was being too caring Dean had not cared about Castiel for it had been too long since he’d been kind, and it was hard to remember, Dean was constantly making sure he was alright, he’d even forced him to eat now cas was very scared, he’d obviously done something wrong, Castiel hands began to shake as he thought about it.

His husband had no reason to be kind to him, none at all, maybe this was punishment for something he’d done, Castiel thought but nothing came to mind, so he sat there doing nothing at all, until Dean came helping him up and to the car he sat right next to Dean. Sam went away in his own car taking adam and Emma along with them. “You seem tense?” Dean asked Castiel didn’t answer he just shook his head. “You can speak if you like cas.” Dean said it was rather a long drive and Dean had a big headache, maybe talking might make it a bit better. “May I request something, Dean if you don’t mind?” Dean only replied with a hum “There is this beautiful spot on the hill by the park, I wondered if we could all go before Sam and adam left.” Castiel tapped his fingers down on his thigh staring at the red light. “Sure let’s do that tomorrow than.”  As the light glowed green, Dean drove while Castiel fell into his thoughts once more no one spoke not until, Castiel doubled over in pain.

“What’s wrong?” Dean asked Castiel whimpered in response. “Fuck.” Dean cursed pulling the car over right by the side of road. “Where does it hurt?” Dean asked Castiel placed his hands over his stomach Dean cursed once more, “Hold on.” Dean was driving fast, Castiel was in tears, Dean didn’t lock the car he’d barely remembered to pull out the keys, he had Castiel up in his arms trying to keep a balance of his feet, he’d nearly fallen over almost dropping Castiel, running in the emergency room. “Sir you have to fill the papers first.” Dean glared about ready to attack her, “MY HUSBAND IS PREGNANT AND IN PAIN,” Dean screamed at her. she yelled for nurses to come, Dean followed along, a red haired woman placed a hand on his shoulder, forcing him out of the room. “Please wait here.” She said as politely as possible, Dean paced the hallway instead of standing against the wall, which only made him want to bang his head against the wall, from thinking of all the damn possibilities, about 30 minutes of pacing later the nurse stepped out.

“He is alright just cramps.” She spoke quickly flipping through papers on her clipboard, “you can go see him.” Dean rushed in Castiel was lying in bed, his arm stretched out an iv hooked to his arm he smiled upon seeing Dean. “He’ll be fine just needs a lot of rest and loads of food, he is underweight which is not good, I put on an ace wrap on the bruise, any idea how he got it? Your husband says he has no idea how he got it? I’m Charlie by the way.” Dean took Charlie’s hand giving a light shake. “Show me?” he asked Castiel lifted his shirt Dean carefully peeled the bandage back. “Damn it cas how’d you get that?” Dean questioned he hadn’t hit cas not since Sam and adam showed up, most of his bruises had faded not a trace of them, “The chair.” Castiel answered after thinking about it, “Chair?” Charlie asked “We have this old rocking chair; well had it I thought it would be a bright idea, if we both took a nap in it broke this morning.” Dean explained “Well we need to keep Castiel here, for the night just make sure we can get his health up, feel free to stay with if you like, I just need you to fill out some paperwork please.” Dean took the clipboard out of her hand, Castiel laid back his eyes closed. Dean filled the paper work, called Sammy explaining the situation, Castiel had fallen asleep, he was left with crappy chairs, he doesn’t know how he even got comfortable enough to fall asleep.

He woke up though groaning as he was pelted with oh hold on, he opened his eyes to find small bites of caramel toffee, all over his lap the momen,t he looked up he was hit square in the head with another bit of the sweet toffee. “Where did you get the toffee?” Dean questioned, Castiel pointed at Charlie who was hooking another bag liquid to his arm, “What is it?” he asked “will you lay with me? I can’t sleep.” Dean didn’t have the heart to look away, Castiel was pulling the puppy eyes at him, the bed was tiny as it was Charlie only smiled and patted the small space. Dean’s bones popped, he took off his shoes lying next to him, Castiel looked at him, the pout still on his lips. Dean laid his arm out letting Castiel curl into him,head on his chest arm laying across his ribs. Charlie sat in the chairs, Dean had fallen asleep in, she waited until Castiel was asleep, Dean without even realizing it had a hand in his hair running his fingers through it, his fingers gently pressing against all the bumps and scars that there were.

“May I ask you a question?” Dean nodded in response, Castiel had just fallen asleep he wasn’t going to wake him. “how old was he when he was branded?” She asked Dean looked utterly confused, Charlie just pointed at Castiel shoulder the gown gave a peak of a tattoo. Deans fingers ran straight to the tattoo, he pulled the gown back to reveal a pair of wings. “What did he do for Crowley?” Deans eyes widened, “Don’t worry. I walked away a long time ago myself.” She pulled her shirt aside to reveal her own tattoo. “I was about 15.” Dean laughed “So you’re the famous Charlene.” Dean asked he’d heard so much about her, she was famous for being a hacker, she was smart from what they said about her, give her a cellphone and she could conquer the world. You know if it was run by a computer, she could totally conquer the world. Crowley always had issues with giving his things away, he had always branded them, sometimes burned them with wielded iron, and then came the tattoos, Charlie had a piece of chess tattooed right about her breast, A king.

“He was in services” Dean said not wanting to really say much on that topic. “I’m sorry, I know how hard that must have been for him.” she stopped talking as the door opened. “There you are.” A woman spoke up, Dean raised an eyebrow she was gorgeous tall, dark, her curly messy hair tied back away from her face, dressed in a brown dress, she was hot and she was kissing Charlie. “You forgot your dinner, I dropped it off at your locker.” she spoke quickly, Dean let his eyes fall close he heard another smack of lips. “Drive safe, call me when you get home.” Charlie whispered “My fiancé.” Charlie explained flashing him a ring “Nice.” Dean complimented bumping fists with her, “She was um in services too, I walked away, so did she it was hard. She has nightmares, panic attacks at times she just completely breaks down, we worked through it though. Does Castiel have breakdowns?” she questioned Dean opened his mouth to answer no right away, but then he realized he had no idea, if Castiel ever had break downs or not, he didn’t know if Castiel ever panicked about things, or what he liked or even hated for their relationship was, suddenly Dean had questioned what was really their relationship?

Charlie quietly slipped out of the room pulling her phone out, “Dude the guilt trip thing is totally working? He’s in there thinking what their relationship really is.” Sam laughed “Charlie thank you seriously, I owe yo-Ah” Charlie laughed too. “Say hello to Gabriel for me.” Sam didn’t get the chance to even hit the red button, Gabriel had gone back to attacking Sams neck the last thought he had in his head was if Dean found out his plan he was going to kill him. For now he put the thought behind him, and tackled Gabriel down in bed, their lips met in a passionate kiss his hands worked on Gabriels shirt, while Gabriel worked on getting the belt off of Sams pants.

 

 


	12. Twelve

            “Yeah baby, harder….OH FUCK SAM…Fuck me harder.” Gabriel begged his fingers pressed right into Sams back, leaving even more marks alongside with the long scratches. Sam smirked pulling his fingers out, he stroked his cock gathering up a bit of pre-come that had pooled on his abdomen, Sam used it to lubricate his fingers just a bit more. He pushed them back in fucking him open for the final time, before he finally slid in. he slid back on his knees holding open Gabriels legs, as he pounded into him, “HOLY FUCK!” Gabriel groaned Sams cock brushed against his sweet spot, “Cum for me, Gabe.” Sam encouraged Gabriel reached down grab a hold of his own cock, Sam slapped his hand away grabbing them both in one hand, he held them down just above his head, his one free hand held onto his hips. He moved in slow yet rough thrusts he kept an unsteady pace, Gabriels orgasm tore through him he couldn’t even scream anymore.

“OH YES…give me more Sam.” Dean quickly leaned over and covered Castiels ears.   
Castiel was bright red “FUCK ME HARDER.” Dean quickly pushed Castiel back out the door, both men blushing; Dean shut the door Castiel stepped off the porch. “This house is beautiful.” Castiel complemented a perfect home for them to grow in, Dean didn’t say anything he just leaned over the railing watching Castiel. “We could start a garden?” Castiel rambled, “We can plant a tree too, like a really big tree, for shade right here.” Castiel drew a X on the yellow and green patched grass. “ooo and here we can plant those pretty flowers, and oh we can do those tiles that go up to the porch like a nice pa-” Dean didn’t realize he was smiling or that Castiel had stopped talking, he stood still looking up at him his lips between his own teeth. “Can we do all that, if that is okay with you?” Castiel asked Dean nodded “What the hell, why not we’ll do whatever you like.” Castiel smiled jumping up and down. “Care full remember what Charlie said.” Dean reminded Castiel stopped stood still, before moving around mumbling to him. “I’ll see if they are done.”

Dean opened the door, only to hear a scream he shut the door. “Not done yet.” he took a seat on the stairs his back hunched over, he hated hospitals they were such a pain, he hadn’t slept properly all night, with Castiel on top of him. Castiel wasn’t heavy he’d spent most of the night awake, making sure he hadn’t disturbed Castiels sleep. Charlie had given Castiel a final check, before letting him sign the check out papers. Dean’s hands were itching he’d had to practice some serious control, he was so angry he was letting Castiel get away with so much crap. If only Sam and Adam weren’t around he’d set that idiot back in place he could see it, the way Castiel had begun to see him, Castiel had started to think Dean was falling in love with him. That made him so sick, he needed to get that idea out of Castiels head, he was not falling for him, he was, fuck no he was not. He’d just let Castiel live in his poor little fantasy, when the time would come he wouldn’t hesitate to set him straight.

“When will you tell them?” Gabriel asked placing tiny kisses on his chest, his hands wandered down to get rid of the belt once more. “Let’s not do this right now, Dean and cas should be heading home by now.” Gabriel pouted he started to get dressed, Sam took him by the hand and led him down stairs. “You think they’ll be surprised?” Sam asked. Dean stood up from the couch “you guys were having sex with Emma still in the house?” Dean questioned “Oh no she’s with Adam and Alfie, they took her out for this circus thing.” Dean rolled his eyes “first memory in our house.” Castiel sat quietly on the couch, “So what happened?” Gabriel asked taking a seat next to his brother, Castiel curled up he still wasn’t comfortable around him.

“I’m okay, just cramps.” Castiel answered “I’m going to get us some breakfast, hey Gabe mind watching over cas I need to talk to Dean.” Gabriel nodded happily accepting a sweet kiss from Sam once more. Castiel stiffened up Dean leaned down pressing his lips to Castiels head, before leaving them alone. “Do you want something to drink?” Castiel asked “Oh no please if I need anything, I’ll get it myself you just sit please.” Gabriel answered he stood up Sam had bought bottles of water, Gabriel took two handing one to Castiel. “So are you guys having a boy or a girl?” Gabriel asked “Not yet we won’t know for another couple of month, we’ve got a new doctor. Dean and I are to go for an appointment in two weeks, so who is Alfie?” Castiel questioned “My younger brother.” Castiel sat up straight “you have a brother?”

Gabriel smiled “Two actually, I’m the oldest and alfie is the youngest, and well I lost my second brother a very long time ago, he lost his memories doesn’t remember me or alfie.” Castiel sympathetically put his hand down on Gabriel’s giving a squeeze. “Do you have a brother Castiel?” Gabriel asked Castiel frowned. “I don’t know, I think I do I just don’t remember.” Castiel answered “I don’t know, I just I don’t remember much about my life, it’s all a big mess.” Castiel rubbed his head trying to think about it, Gabriel cupped Castiels face in his hands pressing his lips to his forehead. “Don’t think about it alright, no stress it’s not good for you or your baby.”

Castiel blushed and backed away his cheeks warming up. “So Gabriel, Whens the wedding?” Gabriel jumped back he laughed, “How’d you know?” Castiel pointed at the silver colored ring with a stripe of gold, “Your weren’t wearing one at the carnival.” Gabriel twisted the ring between his fingers. “He proposed last night.” Gabriel answered “Sam asked if he and I could move in your old home, we were going to tell you together.” Castiel relaxed into the couch getting comfortable. “I’ll act very surprised when Sam announces it.” Castiel promised pulling Gabriel in for a hug. “Welcome to the family.” Gabriel quickly tried to blink his tears away, he hugged his brother tight. “Thank you Castiel.”

“Everything okay?” Dean asked he stood back trying to decide, if he should take Castiel into his arms and quiet him down, or should he just fall over laughing. The TV which Gabriel had wired last night was now playing the lion king, and Castiel was sobbing over mufasa’s death, he was curled into Gabriels lap his head on his shoulder and he sobbed like a child. Dean took him from Gabriels arms rubbing Castiels back, Dean tried to calm him down. Sam fed Gabriel a bagel hand in hand they sat down, Dean took a carry out box and set it on Castiels lap. “Finish the whole thing.” Castiel opened the box the smell of something sweet made him toss the box over, and make a run for the nearest empty box.

“Drink this.” Castiel opened his mouth obediently getting spoon fed, Gabriel wiped his mouth afterwards too. Gabriel made him finish the soup. “You think he’ll hold it down.” Dean asked keeping an eye on Castiel, he himself was sat on a ladder tightening up the screws on the cabinets, “Seems okay.” Gabriel answered his hand ruffling Castiels hair. “Feel like puking yet?” Castiel shook his head. “You make good soup, it’s a good thing Sams marrying you, because he can’t cook.” Dean dropped the screw driver right on his toes. “OW FUCK.“ Dean cursed out loud “whose getting married?” Dean asked Gabriel held up his hand flashing his new ring. “He proposed.” Deans eyes widened “you did what now?” He asked Sam just shrugged showing off a matching ring, Dean pulled him in a hug congratulating him, he gave Gabriel a hug too. “How did the two of you meet?” Gabriel suddenly asked Castiel looked up to Dean. “Our stories are not as interesting as yours, I would love to know how the two of you met?” Dean asked Sam laughed, “Long story tell it to you at dinner.” Sam answered.

            Gabriel pressed his lips to Castiels head “He sure is sleeping a lot, is that normal?” Gabriel asked tucking Castiel in tighter with a blanket. “He get’s tired very easy that’s how he was when he carried Emma woke up ate walked a little and slept the day off, I think I’ll take him to the doctors again.” Dean answered grabbing the car keys, “Ready to go?” Gabriel nodded “if he wakes up, feed him more soup.” Dean instructed he leaned down kissed Castiel and walked out the door, Gabriel and Sam behind him. “We’ll be back in a couple of hours, you okay babysitting benny?” Dean asked benny nodded his head, “We’ll talk tonight?” Benny asked Dean nodded before shutting the door behind himself.

            Castiel when he woke, the last thing he’d expected was to find some stranger seated in his living room, thank fully it wasn’t a stranger though not by a long shot. “Hey cas.” Benny greeted his eyes tearing up just a bit, his hands shook as he reached up to touch, Castiels face Castiel back away and stood so fast his vision blurred. “Woah baby I got you.” Benny held him up arms around his waist, he held Castiel to his chest. “You alright baby?” Benny asked Castiel pushed away from benny freeing himself from his hold .“Don’t call me that you don’t get to call me that anymore.” Benny grabbed Castiel pulling him back in a tighter hold. “You used to love it when I called you baby remember.” Castiel struggled to get away, “You lost that right to call me baby, get away from me benny please.” Castiel begged “I came back for you.” Castiel struggled harder pushing the palm of his hands, flat against bennys chest he tried to get away.

“You left me, you didn’t come back, You left me.” Castiel was tearing up his voice starting to shake, Benny leaned in to press his lips to Castiels, but Castiel backed away, “I came back for you, I came for you, and you weren’t there? You promised. why weren’t you there cas?” the struggling paid off benny was pushed back, away from Castiel who backed into the wall. “You left me there, with crowely sold day and night, I had no choice you left me, and I waited for you. I waited so long like fool I waited, I was so lost, so scared I wanted to find you, you left me. Benny you left me in hell, you left me when I need you the most, I was pregnant and you weren’t there I n-” Castiel couldn’t talk any more he was a mess he was choking on tears, knees threatening to give way any second, why couldn’t he just shut his damn mouth? Every fucking time he screwed up everything. “Cas” Benny took his face in his hands, “Cas is Emma our daughter?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness, finally had a weekend off, this chapter may be a bit confusing, written in a hurry.   
> Please do comment, I am in the process of writing a new chapter that shall be up soon.   
> Thank you, for reading. :)  
> Thank you, specially for all those who are kind enough to read and comment.


	13. Thirteen

“Answer me.” Castiel didn’t speak. Benny held his breath, “Please tell me. Cas is Emma my blood?” He begged for an answer Castiel couldn’t stop crying, he hugged Benny tight freely crying into his chest. “I had a miscarriage.” Castiel answered Benny held him tight letting Castiel cry into his chest. “Tell me what happened?” Benny asked Castiel had stopped crying, just enough to speak up again. “I got sick, I had a miscarriage, I almost died, Dean saved my life, but he couldn’t save our baby Benny, he couldn’t I lost our baby.” Castiel sobbed harder than ever Benny held him, kissing his head repeatedly. Castiel once more calm and out of tears, pushed away from Benny. “Please Benny don’t come into my life again, I’m happy I’m expecting another child, you come in front of me….” Benny cut him off with a kiss, Castiel kissed back his hands clutched onto Bennys jacket, while Benny held Castiel by his face. “I Saw you and I couldn’t take my eyes off you, I saw you and I couldn’t stop myself from imagining us together, this Castiel it should be us, together why isn’t it us Cas?” Benny asked “I want nothing more than to take you back, to be with you for the rest of my life, tell me you want that Cas say yes, just say yes and I’ll take you away.”

 Castiel shook his head “I can’t, what we had Benny, I would give anything to have that again.” Castiel paused to take in a deep breath “I love Dean so much and I have moved on, I do not wish to leave Dean.” Castiel answered “He hurts you Cas he doesn’t love you, and yet you stay with this man letting him abuse you, I have to, No I need to get you away from him.” Castiel had no idea how to explain this to him, but he had to get it through his thick head. “He saved my life. He never laid a hand on me, never did not until Crowley told him, who I really was I am the reason, why Dean lost both of his parents I destroyed his life, he has every reason to hate met. The Dean I met was the man I fell in love with I still love him, he puts up a wall of hate for me, but at times it slips and I see him again. My Dean the one I truly love, Benny I loved you at one point in my life, now I love him and intend to stay with him.” Benny backed away from Castiel not believing, what he was hearing.

 “You’re staying in hopes; he’ll tell you that he loves you too.” Castiel shook his head “He told me two months into our marriage, I was pregnant about three weeks, when he told me he loved me gave me this as a promise, he hated himself for loving me, the man who ruined his life, he hated that he fell for me, it killed him to know that I was the reason for his whole life falling apart. I love him Benny one day everything will work out and we’ll be happy again. Our story is a mess and I don’t know how to explain it to you, I really don’t, I am staying back in hopes to have Dean my Dean Winchester back in my life.  ” Benny stood in disbelief, “You need to open your eyes, you need to stop this unhealthy relationship, when you do though Cas. I will be here, please do come back to me, I love you and I will be here for you.” Castiel could only stand and watch as Benny walked out.

            When Dean arrived home, he found Castiel asleep on the couch, just as he’d left him but no Benny. He shut the door a little harder, than he intended to Castiel sat up wide awake now. “How long was I out for?” Dean didn’t answer only handed Emma over to Castiel, he’d had a long day and just wanted rest sadly, Emma didn’t want to let him rest. Castiel quickly pulled Emmas fingers away from her mouth, Dean walked out bringing in dinner for the two of them. “You okay?” Dean asked as he set two boxes on the floor, Castiel nodded “I am alright.” He answered pulling out the paper confetti from his daughters hair, she was covered in colorful paper and paint, loads of it colorful butterflies all over her face, thankfully none on her hands. She kept gumming her hands right into her mouth, “Your eyes are puffy, you been crying again Cas?” Dean question the two sat together side by side, Emma on the couch two couch pillows sat on each side, holding her in place so she wouldn’t roll off. “I woke up to a nightmare, it seemed to real” Dean didn’t ask about the nightmare “Where is Benny?” Dean asked fishing out forks and spoons, he wiped them clean with his shirt, handing them over to Castiel. “He got a call and had to go, I didn’t ask.” Castiel answered Dean nodded as an answer. “I couldn’t get Emmas crib set up, she’ll be sleeping with us tonight don’t roll over.” Dean warned it was going to take a couple of days to set up everything; the bed was the only thing that was set up. “Sam and Adam are going to come over to help set up, right now they are at Gabriel’s setting up his place, around five we’re going to that place for the picnic you wanted, cook something good.” Castiel nearly dropped his fork, “Thank you.” Dean once more didn’t say another thing they sat in silence the only noise was Emmas giggles, they finished their foods. “I’m going to shower come wash my back” Dean asked.

            “Did we add too many bubbles?” Dean shook his head perfecting the beard on Emmas chin, Dean shook his head Castiel rolled up his sleeves, reaching in he washed the bubbles away. He had her cleaned and dressed. he had her against his chest, when Dean came in and took over putting her to sleep was easy, she favored Dean more than Castiel though and that bothered Castiel so much that just made him feel more unloved. He tucked her in whispering goodnight “Are you not coming to bed?” Dean was not dressed in his sleeping clothes, he was in normal clothes “No, I’m heading out to meet with Benny, I don’t know when I’ll be back I’ll lock up sleep tight.” Dean didn’t give him a kiss not a pat on his head, nothing. He just left Castiel relaxed when he heard the door shut, the lock turn he  couldn’t sleep. He’d spent most of the day crying and sleeping, now he laid in bed wide awake thinking a question in the back of his head came back what if Benny was right?

            “I’ll just have a coffee thank you.” Dean handed the menu over not a soul in sight at the café, Dean sat and waited. “You owe me a story Dean.” Dean looked up to find Benny seated there staring right at him. “Sure, it is a very long one though.” Benny shrugged “That’s okay I’ve got time, start.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New update.   
> Sorry it's to short, i hope you guys like it.   
> do comment. :)


	14. Back to the start pt 1

“I do believe we have a deal, to discuss my dear.” No matter how hard she pressed down on John’s wounds. It wouldn’t stop bleeding.   
“Your youngest for the life, of your love” Castiel grabbed the discarded knife, this was it he was going to get rid of him. He raised the knife high stepping forward, he shut his eyes and he brought the knife down. The screaming caused him to open his eyes wide, The man was gone. The knife was deep into Mary’s chest.   
 “MOM!” Castiel’s body was frozen to the floor, Dean pushed past him to get to his mother. Castiels body fell to the side, Dean was desperately trying to figure out what to do with his mother’s wound. Castiel eyes searched they finally landed on him.   
“Wow buddy you really screwed up this one, You only had one job.” Alister spoke playing with a lighter, he pulled on the trigger,  the whole house was on fire. Dean couldn’t get his mother to react to his words; he kept screaming trying to wake her. She was already gone.

                        Castiel doesn’t remember how he’d gotten out of there, he’d asked Dean for help but Dean had ran out tossing him aside.  The house was on fire, that bastard had started it trying to erase all the evidence. Castiel was losing his breath quickly, he couldn’t move his eyes were set on the two dead bodies. He crawled through the flames, he sat by Mary holding her hand apologizing profoundly. She was gone; Castiel only hoped she’d somehow know how sorry he was. When the rescuers had found him he was unconscious, barely breathing. They’d carried him out. The air smelled artificial, when Castiel came around he was laying on a gurney, someone was asking him his name. He’d replied, his own voice sounded foreign to his own ears, he began crying once more. He tried to sit up but the medic’s strict voice told him to lay back down, Castiel didn’t listen he sat up looking through the crowd. He spotted Dean who was talking to an officer, but his eyes were set on Castiel, his gaze full of hatred. “Gabey.” He yelled Gabriel was gone too.

                        Soon the officer moved towards Castiel ready to take his statement, Castiel didn’t say anything he kept quiet. The officer walked away bringing someone else along with him, another older officer. Castiel kept his silence one by one everyone left, gossiping along them selves “My name is Azazel, what’s your name?” Another officer trying to get him to speak, Castiel looked up at the man and he jumped back. He was so tall he looked like a tower over him, his face was haunting. He kept trying prodding at Castiel offering him sweets as a bribe, Castiel held onto his silence. Azazel stepped out of Castiel’s sight along with him the other two officers, who’d questioned Castiel before. “Poor thing he’s frightened to death, let me get him in the car a drive to the station. Maybe I can get the poor thing to talk. ” One of the officers agreed the other placed a hand on his Azazel’s shoulder wishing him luck.

                        Azazel held Castiel’s hand into his own he lead him to the police car, he helped Castiel into a bumper seat. Castiel was grieving the whole car ride there. He was doubled over sobbing, Azazel didn’t say a word they arrived at the station. Castiel sat next on Azazel’s chair a pen in his hand, a notepad in his lap. Azazel patted his head and stepped aside, pulling out a cellphone he made a call his eyes set on Castiel. “I got a good one for you.” He looked around making sure no one was watching or listening.   
“He’s quiet, pretty for his age; gorgeous eyes pale face and damn his eyes. Going to be dreaming about them for months to come, he’s not going to come cheap though.” At the other line the man held onto his own sanity, for a moment he was about to do something. Most people would call it wasting the money, he called it an investment and this one was completely on blind faith   
“one hundred fifty thousand.” He offered   
“So little for a young untrained boy, whom you can break and mold into the perfect little toy.”  Azazel gave a tut,   
“Fine three hundred and fifty.”  Azazel smiled   
“It’s been a pleasure doing business with you Crowley. Bring the money; I’ll have the boy ready for you. We shall meet at the usual spot.” Azazel put his phone away; he walked back to the desk. Castiel was a sleep clutching a piece of paper to his chest; Azazel pried Castiels fingers apart taking the paper in his hand. He read it over, “I’m sorry Dean” Every line was covered in I’m sorry Dean. He folded the paper placing it in Castiels pants pocket. He picked him up in his arms and walked out of the busy station, no one paid attention everyone was too busy receiving calls about the Winchesters house fire. He walked away handing a sleeping Castiel off to Crowley.

                        Castiel was awakened rudely as his body nearly fell to the ground, but his body was quickly picked up and held in a hard  he was in the arms of a strange man “hello angel” Castiel didn’t say a word he just hung his head he’d been through this part enough in his life he’d been sold once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been over a year since i last updated this. I am so sorry, I have been through way too much this past year. I lost two family members, lost my laptop which had both of my stories fully completed. I have to re write everything.   
> Sorry for the wait again.   
> Please enjoy, I promise to keep updating this as fast as i possibly can.   
> This chapter is going to have two parts, this one is half of Castiel's back story next chapter will be Deans.


	15. The Back to the Start (p.2)

The events of tonight had Dean filled with hatred, he could only stand and watch as his house burned down. His only hope that castiel had burned in there, when castiel had begged him to take him with he’d only tossed castiel aside. Everything was going wrong, tonight castiel had been saved, and one of the firemen was carrying his unconscious body out. Castiel was a monster and Dean was never going to let him, come near his family again. The cops had worked their way around too him, Dean stood with the cop re-telling tonight’s events in full detail, they put a hand on his shoulder apologizing to him. They’d assured child services would be arriving soon, they were going to take them away.

                Dean swore that night he’d never forgive castiel for his sins. They’d come the child services, one by one paper work was filed Dean felt like they were being booked for a life time sentence, they were being taken away. Dean kept a tight grip on Adam, he knew how brothers and sisters were torn apart and sent off to different homes. This was the only family he had left, he wasn’t going to let those monsters tear them apart.   
                It wasn’t easy not for them, There were families that wanted them. Just not together they’d wanted to separate them, Sam was adopted a week after they had been taken in, but soon returned. The couple had conceived their own child, It happened with Adam too; they’d left him back at the orphanage. It was too much responsibility for them. It had happened thrice each time a different excuse, Adam was a fuss he didn’t want to be away from his brothers.   
One of the couples had only taken Adam for the check, the last couple had beaten the child once Dean had seen the bruises. He demanded him back, they were supposed to be together. Dean was only adopted once it didn’t end well, he didn’t like talking about it. No more. Dean wouldn’t let them, he’d scared most of them away. Their lives in the orphanage, had quickly outgrown them every one around them had been adopted. They were left years had passed but Dean kept his feet nailed to the ground, he had made sure no monsters would separate them. Not again, he was sick of it, they were old enough to be on their own, Adam was now five years old and twelve years old Sam just barley ready to enter into teens. Seventeen year old Dean was set to graduate high school and he hated every single second of it, he spent more time hustling bullies out of their money, then studying. He’d collected enough to secure his brothers futures.

                That time had come a family had come, Adam screamed and fussed. He’d begged them not to separate them, from his brother but they were Adamant. They’d given Dean a day to get Adams things together, they’d come the next day to get them. Dean wouldn’t do that he just couldn’t let them leave, they all kept telling him it was for their best interest. He didn’t want to let them go, he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life watching his brothers grow up from outside.

                “Shhhh.” Dean hushed them Adam was fussing throwing his hands out. “Dean.” Dean turned around placing a kiss on Adams forehead. “Shush” His attention was back on the lock. He was almost done the lock was tricky one wrong move and the whole alarm would go off and they would be separated. “Jiggle to the left.” Sam whispered, Dean wiggled the lock pick a little to the left, it worked the door opened the alarm didn’t go off they ran out, they took quick steps out into the yard. Dean pulled the iron fence door, pulling it open. Sam and Adam ran out into the open road, he followed behind quietly shutting the fence; door behind him. They stopped running when they had made it to the bus stop, thank fully the bus came quick enough. Dean dug into his pockets for enough change the bus driver stopped Dean. “You fellas okay?” Dean stared at the bus driver dumb founded, he quickly nodded his head and went to join Sam and Adam.

                Their bus ride was too long, Sam was so tired he had curled up against Dean, sleeping peacefully. Adams head was on Deans chest drool tipping from his mouth on Deans jacket. Dean kept his eyes on the road his mind working overtime, they’d gotten out of there but where the hell were they going to go now? The last stop for the bus they got off Sam sleepily held Deans hand as they walked down, a long road. Half an hour later, they arrived in front of a motel, thank god for it being a sleazy one. All Dean did was flash a handful of cash to the front desk, attendant and they were in a room, once Adam was tucked away underneath a clean blanket; on a soft bed. Sam turned to Dean.   
“What are we going to do now?” Dean reached into his shoulder bag, and pulled out a circular wad of cash. Sam’s mouth fell open he stared as Dean pulled out even more wads, ten in total.  
“Where did you get those?” Sam questioned Dean placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder.   
“I earned it, this should be enough money to settle down for a couple years.”

                It took about a day, then their faces; they were everywhere all over the newspapers and T.V. Dean had no choice, they had to leave again. Dean had made sure not to unpack, their very little belongings. he used a pair of crappy scissors to cut down Adams, hair did the Same with Sam’s hair, Sam returned the favor by cutting off most of Deans uneven hair. Dean climbed out of the window, they were fairly close to an exit. Dean didn’t want to risk any of their faces, being on camera. He wasn’t going to let them go, he wanted to keep them close and safe. He didn’t want any more pain inflicted on them, to Dean this was the only option. To keep running. Dean successfully landed on his feet, he looked up at Sam. “Lower him down.” Dean whispered Sam very carefully lowered a half sleeping Adam into Dean’s arms, then he himself jumped. It was still dark they hurried out to the road, kept their heads low. Once more on a bus and they were off again, crossing state lines without any problems. It was after half a day on the bus, its final stop in Lawrence, they kept their heads down waiting. They spent two nights in another sleazy motel. Dean left on the second day he was gone for hours; when he returned he handed lease papers to Sam. The apartment Dean had found, wasn’t in the best part of town, to him it was home for now.

 

_AN: APOLOGIZES, FOR BEING GONE FROM MY STORY AND MY AWESOME READERS, WHO STILL ARE READING THIS STORY; I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. I HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH A LOT, OF CRAP IN MY LIFE LATELY, I WON'T BORE YOU WITH THE DETAILS. A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE BEEN LEAVING ME HATEFUL MESSAGES, ON MY FIC. I GOT REALLY DISCOURAGED FROM WRITING IT, TOOK SOME TIME TO COME BACK TO THIS. PLEASE ENJOY I SHALL BE UPLOADING THE NEXT CHAPTER SHORTLY PLEASE LEAVE ME A COMMENT._


	16. The Back To The Start (p3)

Sam had bugged Dean about going to school too Dean refused his first and only priority was; both of his brothers, being settled into their new lives. “I’ll get a GED.” he replied to Sam’s constant questions. “Listen Sammy I have to get to work, Walk Adam to school I’ll pick him up after work.” Work was dull and boring for Dean he’d started a job at a gas station it wasn’t much but as long as it put food on the table.

                Sadly the job didn’t last too long, Dean was let go of because his job was taken over by someone who was more qualified; and much more experienced then he was. He never told Sam about it, He lied his job was still ongoing just less hours. The money Dean had earned was nearly gone to the apartment, they needed furniture even though most of everything they had was second hand. It was still costly Dean did his best to provide for them, everything down to a new wardrobe, to school supplies. Monthly rent it all cost too much they needed the money. Once more the money began to come in, the more Sam and Adam began noticing the bruises; that also came with it too. Adam always kissed the bruises way, but Sam could only watch in horror. Dean would never say what he was truly doing. Dean had taken up underground boxing slow start always lost, but he worked his way up. That’s how the three brothers spent four years, a quiet life up until Sam’s graduation. Dean had thrown a grand party in their tiny little apartment next day, Sam would leave for Stanford. He’d been accepted Dean gave a speech told his brother how proud he was of him, and by the end of it; Dean Pulled Sam aside and presented him with a check. Sam’s eyes went wide at the amount on the check, “Dean I can’t take this.” Sam pushed the check back into Deans chest. Dean folded it in half carefully placing it inside Sams shirt pocket. Sam punched Deans shoulder   
“Dean I got a job lined, up to pay for tuition; I really can’t take this.”   
“You think a crappy bartender job is going to pay, a Stanford tuition? This will cover the housing rent, tuition money, and all the other crap you might need.”

“Will you ever tell me, where this money comes from?” Dean diverted his attention to his youngest brother quickly.   
“Put it down” Adam was trying to sneak a beer into his room, Adam tossed the beer down back into the cooler. He stomped his feet on the floor heavily, as he walked away in anger.   
“Dean Will you ever tell me?” Deans face was off his he was biting on his lip, while his hands were shaking.   
“Perhaps one day I will.” Sam hung his head low his hand struck out   
“Promise.” He asked Dean in return hugged his brother   
“I promise” That summer Dean made sure was one of their bests.

                That summer once Sam boarded the plane, to leave for Stanford. Dean didn’t cry, as they hugged him goodbye; Adam pretended something had gone into his eyes. Once they had made it home, Adam fussed about getting out of the car. “It’s too early for this Adam c’mon.” Adam sleepily threw his arms high and whined.   
“You are getting too old for this.” Dean had carried him over his back,   
“Dean what do you want to be when you grew up?” Dean smiled   
“I want to be a fireman.” Dean answered happily   
“How about you?” Dean asked Adam   
“I want to be a doctor.” Dean knew he had to work harder, than ever now because medical school cost an arm and leg .  
“Why a doctor?” Adam clutched onto Deans shoulders, Dean whimpered his shoulder was black and blue from an earlier event.  
“I want to heal your wounds.” Adam answered   
“When we were kids, I used to kiss your boo boos away, I want to actually help people Dean.” Dean patted Adams head   
“You’ll be gre-“

                “Well…Well isn’t this a pretty sight to see, didn’t know you had such a soft side too ya.” Dean quickly let Adam down from his back, they stared at the large beefy man. Adams hand still on Dean’s arm was shaking.   
“Get inside lock the door, don’t open it unless it’s me.” Adam ran past the strange man and into their apartment.

                “I’ve told you, don’t you ever show yourself around my family.” Dean yelled in a hushed voice, he didn’t want his voice to be heard by Adam. Who was most likely standing at the door listening to try and catch their conversation?   
“Need you to go on a hunt.” A file was handed to Dean, he wanted out of his life desperately. Only thing that stopped him from ripping the file into pieces and slap them man in his face, Adam was the only thing that held him back. His education was a top priority, medical schools cost too much. He sucked it up folded the thin packet in half, and stuffed it in his back pocket. Adam had pretended to read a magazine upside down “Who was that?” He asked casually   
“It’s no one, go do your homework now.” Dean Put a stop to it right then.

                A month of surveillance, he needed on this businessman. He was a highly secured man, Dean studied his targets schedule he had his kit prepared for days. He was ready do this, this man had pissed off his boss. Normally he’d have to just catch, torture and deliver him to his boss to do whatever he pleased. His instructions were clear make him disappear, Dean found the right moment making sure his face or body wasn’t caught on any cameras, he slipped inside the house. It was easy the target was asleep, in his own house. It was quick slip in and slip out he did it easy, a syringe took care of it. Dean was getting ready to make the proper cuts, to dispose the body his phone began buzzing. He’d forgotten to turn it off, he should have left it off. Dean dug it out of his pocket, pushing it against his ear it was their neighbor. He couldn’t hear her at first but then she started screaming, Adam had gotten hurt and was being admitted in the ER, Dean called in the cleaning crew. Dean waited for their arrival before running off to his brother.

                He wasn’t panicking at all the nurse, wouldn’t let him go. He was in the ICU they wouldn’t tell him, what had happened either. He started pacing, his mind thinking of all the bad possibilities. He knew he shouldn’t, it was probably nothing. He’d sat there and waited for hours before they let him go to his brother, he had been skating down the road. When he’d been run over by a car, Adam looked terrible he was covered in casts, and bloody bandages over; well everywhere the hospital bill the list grew longer.

 

AN: I am glad to see there are people still reading this story. I am so thankful for the lovely comments, I shall be replying to them very soon.


	17. The Night in Hell (Btts p4)

Years went by faster and faster, work was the only thing that you could say kept his head straight on was his brother. Adam He was the only one that had figured it out what Dean truly did. Adam didn’t complain too much when Dean came home with open wounds or black bruises. He’d patch him up making sure his wounds didn’t get infected. Adam and Sam always fussed that he should find someone to settle down with. Dean never truly thought about it not until he’d seen him there was a guy he’d seen when he’d made a drop at one of the warehouses it felt like he had just been hit by a truck those beautiful eyes were all Dean could focus on in those two minutes he was in front of him all he’d wanted to do was sit there and stare into his eyes.

                “Dean this came in the mail for you?” Adam tossed him a thick package.  
“Another job.” Dean nodded his head “Last one.” Dean promised. Adam could only nod he silently made his way to the restroom, making sure there was enough gauze and ointment in his kit. One last mission that’s what Dean told himself this was a big one. The head of a big company, if Dean took him down; the pay check would be big enough for him to retire. Big enough for Adam to go to college, Dean was more than happy to take it. Things didn’t go right though, something had gone wrong. Dean was set to take his target down. It was going to be done inside their house, everything was going great he’d gotten him tied down to a chair, Dean had ended his life pretty quickly. That wasn’t a problem he was so good at it, he’d began working on the teeth; plucking them one by one. next came the finger tips Dean had barely stripped them when it had happened, he thought the guard who was supposed to be gone for the night, showed up. Dean had gotten shot. Dean had reached for his gun, taking the guard down. He had to grab the gauze and tape it on his wound, it was a flesh wound he didn’t need to worry about it. Yet. Getting rid of one body was hard enough, now he had a guard to rid of two.

                The bodies were disposed of and he made it to back to the warehouse, he’d forgotten about his wound once he had reached his boss, he demanded double pay for two bodies. “You know what? How about I let you pick anyone of my whores, for the second body and you keep the paycheck.” A paycheck was slapped into his hand, Dean wasn’t going to take it. He angrily shook his head, he turned in anger to confront him. He stopped in his tracks he was struck by those blue eyes he’d seen years ago “Him” He pointed at the boy. His boss shook his head. “That piece of ass, is worth more than all you’ve earned; working for me.” Dean turned his head and glared.   
“You did say anyone of them.” Dean retaliated.

                “You’re bleeding.” Those were the first words that came out of the blue eyed angel’s mouth.   
Deans mouth fell open it took a couple of minutes, for him to comprehend what he was really saying. “It’s nothing, honestly I’ve had much worse.” Dean said shrugging his shoulder.   
“May I look?” The angel took a hold of Deans hands tugging him towards, the very large bed. Soft fingers brushing against his rough scarred skin, as they were pulling his shirt over his head. The gauze was taken off his shoulder.   
“That looks very nasty, it could get infected. Is that a bullet? What’s your name?” He asked   
“Yes. That’s a bullet, its fine. It’s a flesh wound no worries and lastly, I’m Dean.” The other man looked up giving a weary smile.   
“Anxo.” he replied Deans brows furrowed. Anxo moved away disappearing out of sight; returning momentarily holding a box in one hand, a bottle of vodka in the other.   
“Drink this.” Dean did so drowning the bottle, Anxo as the man called himself laid Dean back. He began to work on the wound, trying to dig the bullet out from underneath his clavicle. How had this bullet really missed, any major artery was a surprise to Anxo. The vodka had gone to his head, because Dean was being an idiot and his mouth was starting to run now.   
“Ever since I saw you I was a goner, your pretty eyes man your so sexy. I really wanted to steal, you away from here take you away and lock you up.” The other man looked at him with sympathy.   
“You do know what profession, I’m in right?” Dean placed a hand on castiel cheek.   
“I still want you.” Anxo just brushed it off as a drunkard comment, and continued tending to his wound.

                The morning Dean had awoken he was confused, he was still dressed his body free of any marks. Anxo was sitting at the very end of the bed, he gave him a confused stare.   
“We talked all night.” Deans memory was fuzzy.   
“You have me for the rest of the day.” Anxo slipped the silk robe off his shoulders.   
“Please don’t.” Dean quickly got up a bit too fast, his head spun he felt like he was going to be sick.   
“I don’t understand.” Dean rubbed his head.   
“I don’t want sex, I really don’t.” Dean gave a small smile, paused to swallow a lump in his throat.   
“What would you like to do?” He asked a quick response was given.   
“Talk.” So that’s exactly what they did for the rest of the day, Dean hadn’t really gotten Anxos real name. For all he knew it was all lies, but Dean had a falling head over heels, days turned into weeks, weeks into months. They’d always just sit and talk, Dean didn’t ask for more, tonight he was going to get up the courage to ask him for a date. He’d knocked on the door to Anxos room, the door was ajar. Dean went inside “ANXO.” Dean screamed throwing his body, he had knocked him down. Anxo was holding a knife up high ready to bring it down on his body, his hands were shaking desperately trying to do the damn deed. Dean had knocked it out of his hands.   
“Are you insane?” Dean screamed at the man he’d thrown on the floor.   
“Please Dean let me die, I can’t live like this anymore.” He screamed at Dean, trying to push him off.   
“Don’t do this.” Dean held Anxos hands down,   
“They’ll kill me Dean, please let me end it on my own terms. I’m stuck in this life please, Dean let me end it.” Anxos begged desperately.   
“Tell me why, and I can fix it.” Dean begged Anxo body shaking from the uncontrollable shoulders-shaking sobs. Dean sat up helping Anxo carefully he held his hands in his own, kicking the knife aside with his foot. He walked Anxo to the bed sitting him down.   
“Now tell me.” Dean asked Anxos sobs died down.   
“I’m pregnant, three months Dean.” He let out another sob, Deans heart had shattered into pieces.   
“He won’t come back for me Dean, he left me in this hell hole. Dean, please let me just end it all.” Dean let Anxos body fall into his own, he hugged him held him tight; rubbing his back gently doing his best to try and comfort him. Dean had done his best to help him,   
“Do you want to keep the baby? Most importantly who’s is it?” Dean questioned Anox nodded his head   
“He’s never coming for me Dean, I’ve been waiting for so long, I’ll end up dying here. Dean I can never get out.” Dean smiled.   
“I can get you out.” Anox held Deans hand.   
“How?” Dean shook his head   
“Give me till the end of the week, I can sneak you out; and get you to a safe place no worries.” Dean let go of anox hand, he grabbed the knife from floor he headed to the door.   
“Dean.” He stopped turning his head to meet his eyes.   
“My name is Castiel.” It was the first time in god knows, how many years he had said his own real name. His owner had called him Anox, a Galician name meaning Angel, he was told he was as beautiful an angel.   
“That’s a beautiful name, I’m still Dean, my real name.” Dean shut the door behind him.   


Dean had pulled a lot of shit that day to earn, Castiel’s freedom. His boss had laid an impossible task, in front of him taking out board members twelve of them in one of the most secure places, Dean had ever seen. That night he had returned his body covered in blood, and bullet wounds. He had done it. That hour had felt like he was going through an action scene, straight out of a movie. Expect they had known he was coming, they were armed. He was received with a full room of his worst enemies and their armed body guards. Dean not only had run out of bullets, he had already taken two one in his arm and one right in his thigh. He had to think quick, on his feet he was armed with blades he took reinforcement behind a pillar. They came at him one by one. He had started stabbing hoping he got them in a damn artery, when he’d figured he had taken down enough of them, once he realized the other party had ran out of bullets. He began his attack, the night was brutal and long. He hadn’t left any of them alive, he limped out of there, on his way out he dug his own bullets out. Making sure the wounds were wrapped properly, he called in the cleaners to erase the evidence ever being there.

                He walked into the empty warehouse, eyes set on the one and only person. He truly cared for Castiel, he was holding an empty goblet on his right, was his boss. Crowley was his name, he was plain and simple; an asshole. At the moment he was pouring wine into the goblet, for the three of them. Dean gladly took the goblet, about to drown it down.   
“My little squirrel, you have done the impossible.” A large case was placed in his feet, Dean would have picked it up but his body was in no shape to do so.   
“All for him what’s so special about him?” Dean took a large gulp of his wine   
“You wouldn’t understand.” Dean said   
“How bad do you want him?” Dean should have said something, but couldn’t get himself to say it. “Drink Anox.” Crowley thrust a large goblet into his hand, filled with wine. Castiel looked up at Dean. Castiel didn’t want to drink he was pregnant, Dean gave a nod Castiel took a sip, swallowing a very small bitter, amount he nearly coughed it back up; it tasted so bitter but non the less he did his best to take a couple full sips. He shoved the goblet back in Crowley’s hands. Dean was losing blood slowly and castiel was anxious to leave, Crowly shook Deans hand   
“Enjoy the rest of your life.” They left never turning back Dean a large case full of cash and Castiel. He made it to the apartment in quick time, He carried a vomit covered castiel to his home, his foot banging on the door it was three in the morning. Adam came to the door a small gun in his hand holding it up ready to shoot. Dean had been gone for a week without an explanation. “Something is wrong with him.” That was all Dean had been able to say he himself had fallen unconscious too.


	18. The night mare continues

Many hours later Dean awoke, his eyes still heavy with sleep; his body aching. He tried to lift his head, it felt to heavy. “Don’t move Dean.” Adam advised gently pushing Dean back down. “What happened?” Dean asked lifting his right hand to massage his aching head, his hand was bandaged heavily; so was his upper arm; he reached for his thigh also bandaged.    
“You lost a lot of blood Dean, also a couple of your old wounds were infected too.” Adam used a cold rag to wipe the sweat off of Deans forehead.    
“Where is cas?” He asked suddenly remembering the other man,    
“A sleep. Dean I’m so sorry.” Dean didn’t understand why, Adam was apologizing.    
“Help me sit up.” Adam did so, propping pillows behind his back.    
“I tried, Dean to save-” Adam broke down in tears his head falling, Dean saw it the couch across from him; it was covered in blood. Dean knew what that meant. Dean pulled Adam in for a tight hug patting his back, he calmed his brother enough to stop him from crying.   
“Where is he?” Dean asked pushing Adams hair back off his forehead.   
“In Sam’s room, he’s sleeping. I gave him some sleeping medication, he’ll be out for a couple of hours.” Adam answered his heart heavy with guilt, he had tried his very best to save an innocent life. he wasn’t able to and it was hurting him. 

Dean was in pain. His body ached from the wounds, he stood with Adams help. He went towards Sams old room, Adam went to make food for their new guest. Dean knocked on the door, there was no reply he stepped inside the room. Castiel wasn’t asleep he was awake, hugging a baby blanket they were old and Dean hadn’t seen those in a while, those blankets were Adams. Sam was sentimental he kept them wrapped up in his closet “My baby Dean, my baby’s gone.” Castiel was grief stricken, his face streaked with tears his hands clutching the blanket; his fingers white. Dean didn’t say anything he sat next to him, “I want my baby back, Dean I want my baby back.” Castiel sobbed he felt damaged, Dean took castiel in his arms, the best he could with his wounds hugged him tight. Castiel was incomplete. Dean held him smoothing a hand down his back it didn’t help, castiel clutched onto Dean as if he was clutching for his life.

“I made chicken soup, I know you don’t feel like eating; but you need food to recover.” Adam was paying attention to not dropping the food, he jumped once he saw their new guest and his brother in a tight hug.   
“Sorry.” he quickly apologized setting the tray down on the soft bed, Dean moved away from castiel standing up too quickly. Adam took a hold of him safely putting him down in a chair. “My names Adam, I’m in high school we have another brother. Sam, he’s in Stanford I’m the youngest, I’m going to be a doctor, sorry for the bad patch job. I apologize for the ill fitted clothes, I will go shopping for you today.” There was no stopping Adam talking like a damn firecracker, Dean reached for Adams arm pulling him towards himself; he booped his nose.    
“What?” Adam asked confused    
“Where is your off button?” Dean asked, there was a surprise well; Dean couldn’t call it a laugh, sort of a snort with a giggle. Both brothers looked at their guest with surprise.

To recover, Adam had started to force Dean to take him and castiel on walks everyday, first it was just down the road and back. Then the walks progressed longer, but suddenly they had to be stopped; because castiel had been spotted by one of his old customers. Castiel didn’t notice him, but the other man sure did notice them.  He didn’t come at castiel, but he did the worse. Adam was on his way home from school when the man,  had cornered him. Adam hadn’t seen it coming. He was rushing home late from school, when he’d been attacked from behind a hand over his mouth, an arm around his waist pulling him back. Adam hadn’t even had the chance to fight back ,he was trying to breath the more he breathed the more his vision darkened. His body felt weak, he had no control of his own limbs, he’d blacked out.    
Adam doesn’t remember much, when his eyes opened he having a hard time adjusting to the bright burning light. “Dean.” Adams vision was still hazy he began to move his arm, he became confused when he couldn’t. Adam’s  eyes opening wider, vision barely clearing he looked up his arms being held up by thick ropes around his wrists. He tugged and pulled trying to get free. Adam screamed a slash was made along his arm from the other man’s rage, he was bleeding too fast. He began trying to tug harder,  it didn’t work; his feet were untied tried to jump, it didn’t work. The jump was not high enough to do one of those fancy tricks, he’d seen in movies; it didn’t work.    
“You mustn’t struggle, It makes me angry.” the man hissed. Adam's eyes were wide with fear, his body was naked he wanted to cover up. He felt humiliated, he shivered watching the predator; his breathing heavy he twisted his binds. “You’re much prettier, than the other one. I’m glad I took you.” Cold fingers were running over his nipples.    
“I wish to train you as my toy, Lets see how well you take these.” Adam opened his mouth to scream, in return a ball of socks was shoved in his mouth; the man walked around spanking his ass cheek. He wasn’t prepared for what came next, his body jumped. He couldn’t jump forward fast enough, his eyes closed, in agony as the small tiny toys shaped like bullets were forced inside him, his body folding over as they started vibrating he lets out a agonizing sob. He whimpered his hole clenching around the toys, he whimpered tugging on the rope; but all it did was cut him. He shifted his body causing the toys to shift inside him. It had gone on, what felt like hours; but it had just been a couple of minutes, Adam shut his eyes from the humiliation. The sick pervert was watching him, the man got up and Adam whimpered as fingers were dug into his hole. That’s how he spent two days, being humiliated by this strange man, he never got any sleep. Forced to be awake at all times he’d pretty much given up hope of ever being found, on his third day he was rescued.   
“ADAM.” he heard his name there was a ball of socks in his mouth, he screamed as loud as he could. Adams throat was dry and hoarse, he kept at it though mustering up as much air as he could into his lungs, he kept screaming his feet kicking the ground; his arms that had been tied with ropes to the ceiling, he made all the noise he could. “ADAM.” Finally it happened the door to the basement had been kicked open, Dean was not calm he was pissed, he was holding a long pipe in his hand; it was covered in blood. One thirds of Deans clothing was covered in blood, his face fell into relief the moment his eyes landed on Adam. Dean dropped the pipe he ran for his brother, cutting the rope from the ceiling; he let him down carefully laying him on the floor. “I got you baby, I got you.” Dean pulled the gag out of his mouth and began to free to his legs, he searched around finding a clean sheet; he wrapped Adam in it. He carried his brother out of there, Adam saw the physco who had taken him; laying on the floor covered in blood, Adam buried his face in Deans shoulder.  Dean carried his brother home, Castiel pulled the door open letting them in. Dean laid him on the couch, he ran to grab the first aid kit from Adams room. Castiel grabbed it from Deans hands.    
“Sit down and breath, I will tend to his wounds.” Castiel ran back to Adam, Dean sat close by them his hands was shaking; he really wanted to kill that man. he had  stopped leaving him to the police, people still owed him favors they would make sure that there would be no trace of his involvement. He wanted to kill the man more and more as Adam winced in pain, as his various wounds were cleaned and properly covered. Adam was injured it would take a lot of time for him to recover. His neck was covered in various bites and thin cuts, his wrists were severely bruised nearly black and purple; his face was worse bloody, cut and also bruised. He fell apart quickly though, he hunched over tears falling only because castiel had tried to pull, the sheet lower to clean his privates. Dean stood up he couldn’t bear it he threw a punch at the wall his hand going straight through the paper thin wall.  Adam  gripped the sheet and hunched over , he cried harder.Castiel took a hold of him, pulling him in the comfort of his body, he ran a hand through Adams hair. He said nothing just held onto Adam letting him find his own comfort. 

Dean thought there was an intruder in their house, the door to his bedroom creaked open.  He reached for the knife, underneath his pillow his body jumping quick to defend himself. “Dean.” Adam threw his hands up to defend himself.    
“What is it?” Dean asked gripping the knife tighter, Adam looked away embarrassed. “Spit it out.” Dean said as gently as possible.   
“Can I please sleep, in your room. I don’t want to be on my own.” The knife fell out of his hand, Dean didn’t laugh or judge.    
“Come on.” Dean lead Adam to his own bed helping him get under the sheets, he kept his eyes open unwilling to sleep. Atleast not  till Adam had fallen asleep. Dean thought all night for the safety of his brother, they had to leave this place. Adam was never going to be the Same. He was always going to be thinking of this nightmare, it was going to haunt him; so he decided that night they had to leave it behind. Dean feared for his brother’s safety. The next day he missed school, he needed time to recover castiel made sure Adam did recover. He put his own sorrow aside and helped him recover. A week passed Sam was due back this week too, Dean filled a bag with cash and went out early in the morning. Returning later in the evening a big smile on his face    
“Why are you smiling like that?” Adam asked Dean handed a packet to his brother.   
“I bought a house.” Adams hands shook as, he pulled the papers out a picture he was quiet , apprehensive his eyes were blinking the tears away “It’s got a fence.” Dean nodded choking back a hysterical sob, as he pulled his brother in his arms.


	19. Chapter 19

Their belongings were packed quickly, it took them two days to pack between the three brothers; their really weren’t many belongings. The old worn furniture had to be tossed out, most of all they had was worn out and barely holding it together. The house was empty, Adam was quiet; standing in his own now very empty room expect for one small box. “You okay?” Dean asked placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, Adam gave a weak smile nodding his head.   
“I’ll no, We will be fine.” Adam said taking in a deep breath, he stopped himself from crying .“I texted Sammy the address, told him I was doing a patch up job wanted him to come check it out. He’ll be at our new home in two days.” Adam told Dean as he lifted up one last box in his arms. “Where’s cas?” He asked Adam pointed to the other room, Dean patted his head .  
“I’ll go start the car, come out when you’re ready.” Adam said taking the car keys, from Deans hands.   
“Hey, take this.” Dean said taking out a pepper spray from his jacket, Adam took the can walked out the open door.. Dean dug through the last box pulling out a packet, he walked to castiel he was sitting on the floor; just staring straight out the window. “Cas.” Dean called out castiel looked up  his eyes glittering ,“I have something for you.” Dean said presenting the package to Castiel, who reluctantly took it his fingers working it open. He pulled out its contents. “What is all this Dean?” Castiel asked laying the papers down in front of him. “It’s mostly paperwork for your new identity, plus enough cash for you to pick a place and settle down in/” Dean stared at castiel waiting for him to speak.  
 “How did you get this?” His voice full of confusion,  
 “An old friend of mine frank, he owed me a favor. Time for you to go be on your own cas.” Castiel got on his feet quickly.   
“Where will I go?” He asked   
“That’s the beauty of a new identity, cas anywhere you want to go. The world is your playground, get up and go explore.” Dean encouraged Castiel was quiet apprehensive for minutes, just standing still staring at all the papers; scattered on the floor.   
“I’m scared, I can’t be on my own, Dean. I can’t.” Castiel broke out into tears.   
“There isn’t anything to be afraid of cas, be courageous.” Dean said he moved forward wiping his tears away.   
“I’m good at cooking, cleaning and taking care of the house Dean. I’m not good at being on my own.” Castiel was ready to fall on his knees and beg for Dean to keep him .  
“Cas.” Dean began   
“I can offer you sex Dean. I’m best at sex, it’s what I have been trained to do for years. Dean I can please you.” Castiel began stepping in close to fill the gap, between the two of them.   
“Don’t offer that to me cas. Ever. You want to stay with us, we would be happy to have another addition to our family. Just don’t offer me that. don’t cas I don’t want anything from you. I just want you to get better. Come on Adams in the car waiting for us”  
    “This house is fucking awesome.”   
“Language” Dean yelled, Adam was running full speed inside the house, up and down the stairs   
“I Call the master.” Adam yelled Dean and Castiel were left alone.   
“Why don’t you go pick a bedroom. I’ll call and see when they’re delivering the mattresses.” Castiel nodded his head he walked past Dean the tips of their fingers brushed as he passed him.  
    The mattresses arrived late in the afternoon, the delivery guys got three inside when it began pouring rain over them. The last mattress was soaked, by the time it made it to the living room. They ripped open boxes digging, out towels to dry the mattress, they ran outside to get their boxes one by one. They themselves were soaked by the heavy rain too. There were no more towels  left for them, Adam began digging out clothes, Dean shed his shirt to get another one. Castiel mouth fell open letting out a gasp, Dean was covered in scars he hastily put on another dry shirt. Castiels eyes were filling with tears. “I’m going to get some take outs.” Dean said he moved for the closed door, he was about to twist the door knob; when the door was pushed open.   
“Dean.” Sam was at the door “SAM.” Adam ran past Dean jumping on Sam, Sam body nearly toppled over as Adam nearly tackled him.  
 “You’re back early.” Dean asked   
“Surprise.” Sams eyes focused on Dean, Adam was clinging to Sam.   
“Adam let him go.” Dean urged as he tried to unhook, Adams arms from Sam’s shoulders. Adam held him tighter.   
“Something happened?” Sam asked Dean shook his head   
“Adam” Dean spoke a bit more firmly, Adam did let go he was crying he made a quick move to wipe his tears; so Sam wouldn’t have seen them. Sam did though he focused back on Dean, he gave him a tight hug.   
“Sam this is Castiel.” Castiel stuck out his hand.   
“I’m Sam.” Sam shook his hand   
“I’m sorry, I know this is probably going to sound really cliché. You seem really similar have we met before?” Sam asked Castiel shook his head “No I don’t believe we have.” Castiel answered.   
“You must be hungry, I’m going to go and grab some take out.” Dean moved for the door Sam stepped in front of him   
“I’ll go with you.”   
    “Will the two of you be okay on your own?” Castiel and Adam both nodded their head.  
 “You bought a house?” Sam asked they both walked towards Deans car.  
 “Yeah” Dean answered   
“You bought a house Dean?” Sam was in disbelief, Dean laughed in return flipping his brother off. “How did you know to come here?”  He asked Sam shrugged “Went to the apartment, door was locked figured you’d be here. Why was Adam crying?”  Sam asked his eyes focused on Deans right hand clutched the steering wheel tighter.   
“He just missed you.” Dean answered.  
 “You know what Dean, I’m tired of your lies. for once please; for once can you just tell me the truth.” Deans breathing hitched  
 “Sammy please.” Sam slammed his hand on the dashboard.   
“Dean tell me the truth, or stop the car. I’m going to go back to Stanford.” Dean didn’t stop the car,  
 “I know Dean.” Deans hit the brakes.   
“ What do you mean you know?” Dean asked   
“What you do for a living.” Sam answered his fingers curling into a fist.   
“I figured it out, the bruises gave it away you were fighting to earn money. Then I found the gun under your pillow, I never said anything. I know why you did all this Dean. To give us a better future, you did more for us, then we could have ever gotten on our own. Tell me what happened to Adam, did the people you work for; Dean did they do something to him?” Sam’s face began to redden, Dean tapped his right hand on his knee.   
“It wasn’t anyone I knew, it was someone castiel knew. The man was a nut, he saw castiel and knew he couldn’t get to him; so he took Adam instead. He was on his way home from school, two days he was missing; for two fucking days. I lost my mind. I couldn’t find him anywhere, we searched around the apartment complex, school, gutters, parks any place I could think of he was no where. Castiel spotted the man, even though it was a brief look; but castiel recognized him right away. We chased him down. When I found Adam he was a mess Sammy, I couldn’t handle it my baby, was he was.” Dean broke off, he punched the steering wheel hard. He didn’t care if his bones cracked, every time he revisited those events. He couldn’t control the anger that was rising up. “Castiel saved him Sam. Even when he himself was going through hell, he pulled Adam together.” Dean couldn’t say another word his phone started to ring, he dug it out of his pocket; he quickly answered it his heart pounding.  
 “Adam.” His breath hitched his heart beat quickened, Dean listened quietly his body relaxed.“I’ll get you, your burger.” he kept his cool finished his conversation.   
“Who is castile?” Sams next question had Dean going into another long story of his rescue of castiel.   
    The near second they arrived in their new home, Castiels body was enveloped in a tight hug, castiel stood quiet shocked and still a small what escaped his lips. “It’s a hug cas.” Castiel hugged him back, Dean began setting up the food. Castiel pulled away from Sams warm hug. “Where is  Adam? Sam asked Castiel smiled,  
“Adam’s in the master?” Sam sprinted up the stairs to the master, he didn’t bother knocking on the door he pushed it open.   
“Forget it Dean, I’m not giving up this room.” Adams back was to Sam, he was stripping away tape from boxes to set up his belongings, Sam moved forward and hugged Adam his hand on his head, he let him cry. 

 

**AN: IS THERE ANYONE EVEN READING THIS ANYMORE. Sorry for all the caps, please my lovely readers leave me a comment. I really want to know your opinions please please comment and enjoy the new chapter.**


	20. ch.20

“I’m going to enroll Adam in the school.” Dean took Adams bag pack, a piece of chocolate covered toast in his mouth; one hand clutching the bag, and one on the door.  Castiel was feeding the brothers toast with chocolate spread.   
“Hey Dean, why don’t you take Cas shopping. School’s at a walking distance, I’ll take Adam; you take Cas.” Dean raised his eye brows at his brother. “Whud.” His mouth full  
  “He looks ridiculous in my clothes, Take him shopping.” Sam demanded   
“I don’t want to be a bother.” Castiel said quietly his hands shaking as he held a plate to Adam.   
“You won’t be a bother at all, why don’t you grab a jacket and we will go.” Castiel nodded his head biting a piece of toast himself, Dean pulled the door open for Castiel. Castiel smiled, whispering a quiet thank you.   
  

                         “Why don’t you go try these on.” Dean held out an armful of clothing shirts, pants, and jackets. Castiel stared at the clothes so overwhelmed. “Come on, fitting room is this way.”  Castiel did so, he ended up in the room; his arms stuck in a jacket, half zipped up it was leather and too tight. He was unable to move, his upper body.   
“Dean.” He called out in a whisper, afraid if he yelled too loud; it would attract to much attention.   
“Everything okay?” Dean was standing right outside the changing room .  
“Help me I’m stuck.” Castiel begged helplessly trying to free himself, from the wretched jacket .  
“Are you dressed?” Dean asked his eyes shut as his head peeked through the door.   
“Yes.” Dean opened his eyes, he didn’t laugh at the sight of Castiel in a very tight jacket. Dean couldn’t tell how Castiel had zipped up his jacket in the first place. “Can you please get me out of it.” Castiel begged. Dean stepped forward,   
“Stand still.” Dean said as he began tugging and pulling the zipper down, to get the jacket open. It proved to be a challenge, the moment the zipper was pulled free. Castiel puffed his breath out. “Now the real challenge.” Dean said as he began try to push the jacket full off.   
“OW.” Castiel winced as the jacket forced his arm to twist, as it was taken off of him. Castiel was left with a plain blue t-shirt Castiel turned facing the wall, he quickly took it off tossing it aside. He was left shirtless in front of Dean, he didn’t realize. Dean was still there with him, not until he felt  a finger run over his spine, his body tensed up.   
“How?” There was a long scar running down his spine, Castiel’s body went rigid .“I apologize.” Dean said stepping back “I overstep my boundaries.” Castiel grabbed a button up shirt, quickly throwing it over his body.   
“I don’t remember it, well not much of it, I was  young in a car there was a bird in the car, I let it out of the cage. Pretty  blue bird flying out of the car, I pushed the door open and jumped. That’s all I remember, woke up in the emergency room unable to move for weeks.” Castiel explained.

  
                     “How do I look?” A change of subject was what  Castiel wanted, he hated the subject  of his past. “You look great let’s get this one.” Dean said “I’ll step outside.” Dean walked out the door.   
    Castiel tried on many clothes, asking Deans opinions on different outfits; Dean put the clothes away in the trunk. He looked back to find Castiel at another store, staring at a coat. “Let’s go try it on.” Dean said Castiel jumped in surprise.   
“Oh no I don’t like it, let’s leave.” Castiel said  “I am hungry. “ Castiel said Dean dug into his jacket pulling out a chocolate bar.   
“Eat this we’ll go get some burgers, and pie.” Castiel stared it at confused.   
“What’s chocolate?” He asked Deans jaw dropped .  
“You’ve never had chocolate before.” He asked   
“No. At least I don’t think, I have.” Castiel said   
“Well get in and try some.” Dean said pulling the car door open for castiiel. It was a night mare, Castiel had had too many chocolate bars, he was high off sugar; and then he was throwing up on the side of the road. Dean was laughing as he cleaned up the vomit off, Castiel face.   
“You are never going to have chocolate ever again.” Dean said ,Castiel pouted.   
  

 “How was shopping?” Sam asked as they entered the house.   
“Cas tried chocolate for the first time, threw it back up; and he’s never having it again. Got him a whole new wardrobe ,all in all it was a good day.” Castiel slumped on the couch.   
“I hate throwing up it stinks.” Castiel complained, Sam patted his back. Later into the night they were all gathered up in their pajamas. Dean and cas had the large couch to themselves, while Sam and Adam took the second couch. The lights dimmed, star wars marathon they were giving castile an introduction  to a fun life again, they barely went half way through the second movie; when Castiels shoulder fell on his chest. He was snoring lightly, Deans had no choice but not to move; he was not going to wake Castiel up. It wasn’t long till he himself was asleep. That morning rolled around Dean awoke with weight on his body. a pleasant weight. Castiel was curled up on top of Deans body, his head was comfortably over his chest. Dean lifted his head to look for his brothers, they were nowhere to be seen. There was that pleasant smell of fresh bacon, being cooked Deans hands were trapped under Castiels body.   
“Cas.” Dean whispered there was no response. “Cas wake up.” Dean repeated Castiel body stirred the second, he realized he was laying on Dean he jumped off of Dean, running for the bathroom.   
  

 “Shut up.” Dean made a face at his brothers, who both wore a playful smirk on their lips.   
“Didn’t say a word.” Sam replied serving them breakfast. “Hey cas there’s a park down the road, why don’t you and I go for a walk.” Sam asked Castiel nodded his head as a response.   
“Find a bakery and get me pie, I’ll take cas for a walk.” Sam and Adam exchanged a look, Castiel followed Dean out the door the weather was perfect for the walk light breeze in the air, the park was filled with greenery. Castiel breathed the fresh air, in months passed by he wanted to take off his shoes and run through the wet grass. As he began to lean down and untie his shoes his body was knocked down, next thing he knew he was laying on top of Dean. 

“Sorry.” Castiel heard a loud shout, he lifted his head to catch a glimpse; of the biker paddling away. He would have run straight into them.   
“You okay.” Dean asked Castiel nodded his head.   
“Wow. Don’t you two look adorable.” Castiel and Dean quickly got up both dusted off their clothes, standing up straight to face Sam and Adam.  “What are you doing here?” Dean asked   
“Walking Adam to school, we thought we could walk through the park. Such a nice day today huh.” Sam asked Castiels cheeked turned pink “Have you seen the frog pond?” Adam asked excitedly, Castiel muttered a quiet no I haven’t. Adam grabbed Castiel’s arm and they both ran off. Sam and Dean stood watching over them.  
 “You should take him out to dinner.” Sam asked a sigh was all Dean could  give,  as a respond. “You like him. The way he looks at you, it’s obvious. That he likes you too. “ Sam encouraged his brother, Dean shook his head.   
“You know what Cas has been through. I don’t want to force anything on him.” Sam rested a hand on his brothers shoulder.   
“Dean he deserves a happy ending so do you, When I look at the two of you.” Sam paused to point at Cas who was smiling brightly he passed a five dollar note to a bird feeder buying food for the mass amount of birds around the park he and Adam took careful steps to toss the bird feed to them. “You make him happy Dean. Take a risk ask him on a date.” Sam begged with a smile on his face. Dean breathed in.   
“I’ll ask him. “ 

AN: Going to be posting up another chapter soon. After that updates might be a bit slow. I am having surgery on Monday to remove three wisdom teeth. Enjoy.


	21. Chapter 21

Week passed in a familiar routine they awoke shared breakfast, together dropped Adam to school walked to the park. They spent their days happy, not caring for much around them. Life was great and hopefully it would continue to get greater, if Castiel would say yes tonight. Dean was nervous Sam kept encouraging him to just ask him, worry free. Adam would send ridiculous ideas to him over text, he’d read on the internet. Dean was currenly sitting in the kitchen reading another one, he’d sent to him over  text.   
“Where are we going today?”  Dean shut his phone, shoving it in his pocket.   
“Uh you pick.” Castiel wiped his sweaty palms over his thighs.   
“I get to pick.” Castiel asked Dean nodded in return. “Would you um maybe,” Castiel paused he was getting too nervous. “Maybe want to go out tonight.” Dean finished the rest of the sentence for castile.   
“A quick over do for the both of us,” Castiel continued on   
“I would love to go on a date with you cas, I’ll pick you up for dinner tonight,” Dean asked Castiel smiled,  
 “I’ll meet you at the front door at eight,” Castiel’s cheek were tinged pink he was too shy to facem Dean anymore, So he ran up the stairs to his own room.

  
    “Take him to a movie.” Adam recommended Sam shook his head.   
“Dinner that way the two of you can talk.” Dean nodded in agreement to Sams suggestion.   
“Dinner and movie.” Dean said   
“That’s boring, Dean take him out somewhere like.” Adam paused racking his brain,  
 “Bowling, take him bowling. After that Dinner and walk home.” Sam high fived his little brother.  
 “Dean.” The brothers straightened up turning to see Castiel coming down the stairs, Dean was speechless Castiel was gorgeous. Dressed down very simple dark jeans, a  plain blue shirt a black jacket. Dean felt like his breath had been knocked out of his body.  
 “You ready cas.” Sam asked he used his free hand to pat, Dean on the back to shock him out of his haze. Dean stepped forward held out his hand, Castiel shyly took it.  
 “Now you children, go out have a good date.” Adam said leading them out of the house.  
    “I really haven’t figured out what to do, or where to take you today.” Dean confessed his thumb caressing the back of Castiels hand. “Have you ever been bowling?” Dean asked Castiel gave a squeeze to Deans hand,   
“What’s bowling?” Dean gasped   
“Get ready for the best night of your life,” the bowling alley wasn’t packed Dean helped Castiel with his bowling shoes, “So how do you play?” Castiel asked confused his hands gripped the bowling ball.   
“You roll the ball” Dean answered Castiel became even more confused, he dropped the ball with a thud and gently kicked it; with his foot. Dean laughed it went down the gutter, Dean laughed.   
“May I.” Dean asked taking up a bowling ball he gestured for Castiels hand out, setting up his fingers in the right positions. He took Castiels hand in his hand, he showed him how to swing and let go. Dean got a head start and swung a ball down the isle,  knocking all the pins down “Your turn.” Castiel tried to do what Dean did, he barely knocked down three pins. But the excitement of knocking down three pins, had him jumping and hugging Dean. The two of them spent an hour, playing Catiels skills improving. Once more hand in hand they went to dinner a small quiet dinner they got a booth, sitting across from each other; exchanging silly stories.

They walked back home stopping, halfway at a ice cream shop.   
“Dean it’s cold.” Castiel complained   
“Don’t you ever take risks.” Dean chuckled as he said those words, Dean carried the bag filled with different pint sized ice creams; mix of flavors  he never could decide on one.  
 “My lips are frozen.” Castiel complained tossing the napkin aside, after he had wiped drops of liquids away from his lips.   
“Let me warm them.” Dean leaned in capturing Castiels lips with in his own, the bag of ice creams slipped from Castiels fingers falling with a thud to the floor. Dean didn’t pull away, neither did castile. He stepped closer to close the gap between the two of them; his shaky hands raised up too grab onto Deans shoulders, Dean carefully wrapped his arms around Castiel’s waist. Castiel’s body melted, Dean’s lips were soft when Dean  let his tongue run along ,Castiel’s lips. Castiel let him he let Dean explore his lips, he kissed back happily.    
    “I can’t.” Dean said pulling away from Castiel, putting space between their bodies. “I apologize. I shouldn’t.” Castiel cut him off by kissing Dean’s cheek,  
 “Dean thank you for the date, we should do it again.” Castiel and Dean walked through the door, Sam and Adam looked up from their movie  both of them  asked the Same question.  
 “How was your date?” Castiel was blushing he made a quick exit to his bedroom, Dean was also blushing.   
“Sooooo” Dean wanted to slap Adam.  
 “It was amazing.” Dean said tossing the bag filled with pints of ice creams at his brothers, he too ran up too his own room .  
“Did you guys you know ?” Adam asked running up the stairs, after his brother  
 “Not your business.” Dean said to his pestering brother, Adam laughed making kissing noises.  
  
    Their second date was just as amazing this time, Dean took Castiel to the lake the two of them sat side by side. Food and good jokes made the perfect date, once more they were at the front door of their shared resident. They stood both staring awkwardly at each other, Castiel tip toed, pulling Dean into a kiss that made his toes curl. Dean pressed Castiel’s body against the door, their lips in a battle of hot passionate kiss . the two of them  held onto each other, on the other side of their door; Adam reached for the door knob a baseball bat, held tight in his hand. He raised it high he pulled on the door knob, Castiel let out a loud yelp as his body fell hitting the hard floor and onto top of him Dean. Adam let out a scream thinking it was robbers in the middle of the night, he brought the bat down on Deans head; knocking him out cold.

  
    Dean carried a bump on his head the next morning. Castiel wrapped a bag of ice in a towel he pushed it down on Deans bump. Dean yelped in pain, Castiel backed away quickly the bag dropping. “It’s okay.” Dean said picking up the ice pack off the floor, Castiel took it this time he gently placed it over his head. Dean didn’t make a sound, he took Castiels hand into his own kissing it. Castiel blushed, a gagging sound came from behind them. “Get a room.” Sam yelled Castiel took a hold of Deans face, kissing him full on the lips leaving not only him speechless;  both Sam and Adam too Dean was blushing when Castiel pulled away from him. They were all rest on the couch quiet comfortably it was all quiet till dean heard a scream coming from Adams room the brothers along with Castiel dashed up. Pushing the damn door open adam was standing from their point of view completely paralyzed staring at an envelope. Dean  stepped forward taking the envelope out of his hand “Stanford medical” Dean read out loud he began ripping it adam covered his ears and shut his eyes. Dean did the deed ripping the damn thing open and he pulled the neatly folded letter out. He pulled it open cleared his throat. “Dear Mr. Adam Winchester we are” Dean paused adam opened his eyes staring at his brother scared to hear the rest, dean sighed folding the paper back up he looked at adam dead in the eyes “Baby” he began Adam whimpered, it was his dream college he wanted nothing more than to be able to attend it. “You got in” Dean said. The room erupted into cheers every one grabbing and hugging a still in shock adam.

    


	22. chapter 22

Sneaking kisses running off for hours on dates, they became more and more comfortable. Sam and took Adam out for the night, they were going to the next town over to look for some parts; for a car they had bought out of a junk yard. This was the night both, Castiel and Dean were hoping for that one night. Home alone where they wouldn’t have to hide, around corners to steal a kiss ,they put on a movie; fifteen minutes have passed, and before Dean even knows what’s happening; they’re kissing. Castiels hands are threaded into Deans hair, he pushes him down climbing on top of him. It takes much will power for Dean to push, Castiel away just for a moment before he kisses Castiel again. “Bedroom.” Dean said Castiel stood up pulling on Deans arm. “Patience.” Dean said pecking Castiels lips he took his hand, tugging him up the stairs. They made it to Deans bedroom their lips meeting in kisses over and over, Castiels lips were swollen red. Dean wasted no time he tilted Castiels head to his side enough, just to trail a few soft kisses up and down the length of his long neck. Castiels breath hitched Dean kissed right above, the collar bone right at the joint  of shoulder and neck met. Castiel’s body melted right onto Deans body. All his life Castiel had to please strangers no one ever cared for his pleasure, Dean wanted to show Castiel a whole new world of pleasure.  
    He laid Castiel stripped of clothes he himself was naked well nearly, his boxers were still on  ;Castiel tried to reach for the blanket to cover his body up. he felt shy under Deans intense gaze, but Dean took the blanket tossing it  out of Castiels reach. He got on top of Castiel he bit into Castiels neck, while his hands are all over Castiels body; grabbing firmly at his ass, he pulled his body up Castiel rolled his hips up against Dean. “Oh Dean” Castiel began but his words crumbled into a mess of incoherent moans; as Dean ducks his head down. His tongue laps over the nipple, Castiels back arches as he feels Deans teeths over the nub, while his hand is gently palming Castiels hardening cock. 

  
“Close your eyes,” Dean gently commanded. Castiel bit his bottom lip. “Trust me?” It was a question which Castiel answered by doing so, he shut his eyes holding his breath afraid of what was going to happened next. Deans lips kissed Castiel, gasped as he felt Deans tongue run over a nipple; he groaned. His hands flying to grab a hold of Deans hair, he tugged his head up for a kiss, Dean kisses him pushing his mouth open with his tongue; he sucks on Castiel tongue.  Deans uses his hand to tug on Castiels hair pushing his head back, exposing the long luscious column of his throat, Castiel whimpers as Dean bites into the soft skin. This time his teeth dragging down, he came to the point where the shoulder met his neck he sunk his teeth in, careful not to break the skin. “Dean” Castiel voice comes out as a low growl.

  
Dean pulled his body back, “Castiel, stay perfectly still.” Castiel nodded his head his breath hitched up, he was a mess already. Dean continued on his lips moving down placing kisses down. Castiel's body kissing vvery rip tongue lapping on the skin, bites here and there. Dean moved down he blow hot breath down on his aroused cock. Dean didn't put his lips on the cock just yet. He took it in his hand stroking it, he ran his tongue down the length of it. Castiel's hips bucked up trying to get, Dean to do more. He needed more. Dean took the head of Castiel's cock in his mouth, sucking lightly on the head. Castiel's moan was music to Deans ears. Dean pulled his mouth off right away, as Castiels hips thrust up he used his two hands to hold down; Castiels hips. He went back to the head the tip of his tongue, digging into slit of his cock. Castiels hips shot up again, Dean once more held him down. Castiel whimpered as a thick lubed finger is pushed inside him. Castiels body was shaking with pleasure, Deans slipped his mouth back down Castiels cock he started bopping his head ,Castiel eyes clenched tight. His hands left Deans hair and clenched the sheets as Dean let go of his cock with a pop instead, he ran a path from root to tip. “look at me” Dean commanded Castiel's eyes met, Deans. Dean opened his mouth letting the cock inch down, his throat. Castiel choked on a sob, as Dean pushed a second finger in Dean was finger fucking him, and at the Same time deep throating his cock. He couldn't hold it his hips shot up and he came.      
    

Castiel's eyes were glazed over his mouth open sucking in deep breaths, Castiel reached for Deans shoulder pulling Dean to him letting his lips be captured again. Dean moved back down hiding his face between Castiel's thighs, kissing the soft skin. Dean worked on opening Castiel's hole, he pushed a third finger against the tight hole, Castiel felt excited and overwhelmed all at the Same time. Dean patiently spread his fingers slightly giving Castiels hole a bit of more stretch. “AH Fuck Dean.” Castiel screamed his body jolted, Dean did it again his fingers curling inside him; Dean pulled his fingers out Castiels legs, were lifted and wrapped around Deans waist loosely. His breath hitched he barely registered it, Dean's cock was penetrating his body; Dean pressed in slowly. Dean paused giving Castiel the chance to breath, before he pushed in all the way they shared a passionate kiss. Dean pulled back from his lips to bury his face in Castiel's neck.  
“I want to hear you.” Dean asked Castiel did moan a string of ahs and oh gods, falling out of his sweet mouth. Castiels hips rocked against Deans unsteadily and slowly against Deans. Castiels back arched .“Oh Yes.” Castiel moaned waves of pleasure went through his body, Dean was fucking him nice and slow. He was holding onto Deans shoulders with a tight grip. “Please Dean give me more please.” Dean Started up a steady rhyth of lazy and slow thrusts, Dean watches Castiel his blood pounding in his ears, his mouth half open spitting out loud moans. Dean took Castiels legs pulling them apart, he pushed in as deep as he can into Castiel. “DEAN.” Castiel sobbed his pleasure spiking suddenly, Dean had just hit Castiel's soft spot.  Castiel gripped the sheets desperately trying to fuck himself on Deans cock faster, his body began to tremble; arched off the bed. Dean's thrusts became more ragged. his nails dug into to Castiels back as he tried to desperatly stay in control; but he was gone Dean bit into Castiel's shoulder, as he came inside him. Castiel hands twisted the sheets, his mouth gasping for air his throat opened to let out a scream as he cums.  Both grinding their hips together working through their orgasms, Castiel pulls Dean into a kiss both of their bodies trembling. Dean breaks the kiss so they can both of their breaths, but he continues to peck his lips. Dean takes his time getting off of him laying next to him, Castiel turns to his side and drapes his body over Deans; resting his head comfortably over Deans chest.  
  

 Sneaking around for quick sex in the middle of the day, and the two  of them were inseparable. It came to the point where Castiel was sleeping in the Same room as Dean. In the morning Dean was in the kitchen pinning Castiel to the fridge his lips on his neck, biting and kissing. “Please for god sake, STOP.” Adam begged this was god knows how many times, he had walked in on them doing something inappropriate. Dean and Castiel separated quickly. Adam was so fed up with them. “It's like the two of you are a newly married, couple stuck in the honeymoon phase.” Adam yelled stomping his feet out of the kitchen, Dean and Castiel smiled at each other. “  
Married Couple” Dean asked Castiel could only smile at Dean “Castiel Winchester, I kind of like the sound of it.”  
            

“We've decided to get married.” Sam dropped his book he had been holding  up and studying for hours. Adam dropped the tray of food he spent half an hour preparing for his brother, who had been occupied with burying his nose in a law book for hours. “You what?” The two of them burst out in unison.  
“We want to get married, will the two of you be our witnesses?” Dean asked Sam once again was the voice of reason,  
“Are you guys sure about this? The two of you really need to think this through.” Sam was trying to keep a stern face,  but he couldn't help the smile that was stuck there; he couldn't help it. It felt good to see Dean finally getting some happiness in his life.  
“I've never been more sure of anything else in my life. I want this Sam.” Dean assured him.  
“What about you Cas?” Adam asked  
“I want this as much as Dean does, possibly even more.” Castiel replied. That's how much their lives had changed Sam had only been home for a month, he was due to leave back for his new semester in two months Adam was set to graduate high school this week not wanting to wait. The next morning after their announcement, Dean and Castiel were standing in court, the two of them dressed in suits. Castiel wearing the trench coat Dean had bought him, standing hand in hand. Sam and Adam stood by their sides cheering loudly as Dean and Castiel kissed, sealing their bond for the rest of their lives. The next day Adam walked on the stage, accepting his diploma they were in the bleachers, Dean, Castiel and Sam, screaming and cheering for him. Life was settling down Dean was settling down happily with Castiel. Dean hoped it stayed that way, his life was a big bowl of fuck ups, he desperately wanted it to stay the way it was. He could feel it something was going to happened he wasn't sure what? Dean just had this intuition that something terrible was coming their way and it would ruin them. Dean knew if it did there would be nothing he could do to stop it.

 

AN: There you guys go three big chapters, as soon as i heal up i will start writing again. Please please do comment i really would like to hear your opinions and thoughts. :)


	23. CH.23

Dean was quiet sitting in his love seat Adams acceptance letter in his hand, Castiel was speaking to him, asking him about where his mind was. Castiel went behind, Dean grabbing him by the shoulder. “Dean.” He called out Dean took a hold of Castiels hand, he raised his head up. “He’s leaving too, just not ready for it.” Dean said Castiel grabbed, Dean pulling him down he embraced him.  
“The rest of the time we have with them, enjoy it Dean. When it’s time for them to go, we’ll drive them back and settle them in.” Castiel hid his face in Deans neck, laying soft kisses on all the visible skin.  
“That’s a twenty two hour, road trip Cas. You sure they’ll be up for it.” Dean asked nervousness setting in.  
“Let’s go ask them.” Castiel fell out of his Deans embrace, and ran down the stairs. Dean chasing after him, Dean caught him around the waist pulling him into his arms. Sam laughed,  
“What are you guys running around for?” He asked Castiel opened his mouth  
“Road trip?” he asked Adam who was mindlessly staring at the T.V. suddenly paid attention.  
“To where?” he asked Dean kissed Castiel shutting him up, “Where?” Adam asked again, Castiel pushed from Dean. “To drop you guys, back to college in a month.” Dean made it impossible for Cas to speak, he was trying to shut him up desperately.  
“Yeah that sounds great.” Sam and Adam answered Castiel turned to Dean  
“You coward.” Dean laughed, he was so lucky to have this man. Dean was pulled aside by his brothers starting to make a list of the things to see, and do on their trip. Castiel had the brightest smile on his face, he was lucky to have this family, this man; that he was just so in love with. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face, he was so in love. He’d just hoped it stayed that way.

  
Three weeks of vacation passed so blissfully, this was the week their road trip was they were prepared. Dean felt too damn domesticated, he was now actively looking for job. You know the nine to five kind, he loved cars so he hoped some mechanic would hire him. He hadn’t had any luck so far, he hoped his luck would strike soon. He was in love with Castiel, so in love. Mornings began with waking up in Castiel arms, morning kisses; they were the best. He woke up to Castiels lips on his, their mornings spent together stealing kisses. Dean was in love, so in love he couldn’t be happier. They were all loaded in the car ready to get their trip on, it was way too early in the morning. The sun barely risen, they were in the car everyone half asleep; first half of the drive was Sam's. Dean and Castiel chose to cuddle up and sleep for a couple hours, then the sun was blaring and Dean couldn’t sleep; so they jammed out to some music. The drive took its toll though, they soon became exhausted of having to sit in the car for so long, they chose a motel to sleep for a couple hours; before hitting the road again. Dean was driving now and Castiel was sitting next to him chatting away. They arrived at their destination the next day, Dean had purchased an apartment for Sam and Adam, he didn’t want his brothers sleeping in crappy dorms. He wanted them to be comfortable, no matter how much Sam protested; to the whole idea of Dean spending the money Dean didn’t care, he wasn’t going to take any risks none at all; he wanted his brothers safety specially Adams.

“So what do the two of you plan to do now?” Sam asked as he and Dean moved the couch, into the right position. “Beach tomorrow, maybe take Cas out fishing; and then head home.” Dean answered. Sam looked at his brother a smile on his lips.  “You are so whipped.” Dean glared.  
“Bitch.” Sam scrunched his nose calling his brother a jerk. He continued to set the furniture.  
“We are just going to head out, and grab some school supplies. Will you be okay on your own.” Dean asked Castiel nodded.  
“I’ll pick some pizza up.” Castiel kissed Dean bidding the three brothers good bye. Castiel was on his own. When the brothers returned, Deans pizza was forgotten as they walked into a house, that smelled like thanksgiving dinner. Castiel was standing in the kitchen holding a tray ,of what looked like a turkey from a far.  
“Cas did you cook this?” Sam asked  
“Yeah, I did.” Castiel answered Dean tried to hold onto the smile on his face, but it was quickly fading. Castiel went to Dean kissing him on the lips.  
“It’s nothing.” Dean answered before Castiel could ask. “Let’s eat.” Dean said taking Castiels hand and tugging him away. Sam had felt as if fire works had gone off in his mind, the food it was amazing.  
“This is the best food I’ve ever had.”

  
 Castiel spent the night awake, Dean was restless and it worried him. Dean was very quiet, he barely spoke barely looked Castiels way. Deans plans to take Castiel out all forgotten, instead Dean announced they were going to be heading back instead. It was early morning, Dean hugged his brothers goodbye. Castiel did the Same wishing them luck. They got in the car Castiel was all smiles ,while Dean had a serious face on They barely chatted. Castiel leaned over grabbing Deans hand. “I can’t wait to go home.” Castiel said. Dean smiled pulling his hand away  
“Me too.” Dean answered clutching the wheel, They were at a motel again. Castiel was in the bathroom Dean was laying on the bed his eyes fixed on the T.V. his mind somewhere else. Castiel took a deep breath and stepped out of the bathroom, he was wearing only Deans boxers.  
  
  
                “Dean” Castiel called out Dean sat up his eyes were wide open, Castiel crossed the room getting on top of Dean. He began kissing him, Dean kissed back with his own mouth; ravishing Castiels open mouth with his tongue. It was just a sloppy kiss. Castiel pushed Dean away laying him back on the bed, he worked on kissing Deans neck soft kisses. Dean grabbed Castiels face, kissing him Castiel didn’t waste time he pulled away from Deans lips, he pulled Deans pants off. He wanted to take a risk he wanted to do this, he wanted to surprise Dean. He pulled the boxers off Deans cock, nearly slapped Castiel in the face. Castiel licked his lips, he watched the throbbing cock, slowly he leaned down and took the head into his wet warm mouth. Dean gasped his toes curled, Castiel lapped at the head at the slit, all Castiel wanted to dol was just make Dean happy. The way Dean moaned those small little moans, and whimpers. Deans hands flew down and grabbed Castiels hair, he just held onto his hair; he didn’t force Castiel to take his cock any further. Castiel decided to take Deans cock into his mouth, inch by inch he kept going until it hit the back of his throat. He let it slip out of his mouth, the tip of his tongue dragging against the cock. Dean gasped and tossed back his hip, lifting up pushing his cock past, Castiels adorable puckered lips. Castiel hummed around Deans cock, his tongue and mouth working hard; he bobbed up and down on Deans perfect cock. He let out muffled moaned, taking it down his throat. Castiel let Dean thrust up his hips, riding Deans cock down his throat.

  
Dean pushed him away. Now a rage and lust in his eyes he was ready to fuck Castiel, Castiel how ever held his hand up pushing Dean back down. Castiel sat back pushing his weight on his left elbow, he used his right hand dipping it in the lube. He worked himself open, Dean watched he refused to do anything, not touch himself or even touch Castiels leaking cock. Castiel bucked down on his fingers, he felt like he was prepared even though he wasn’t he just didn't care.  He was desperate he wanted Deans cock inside him, he lined him up slowly lowered down his hips. Castiels mouth fell open in a silent scream, Dean didn’t touch Castiels cock, instead Dean grabbed his hips, helping Castiel slowly lowering him down. Dean moaned as Castiel slowly rode him, very slowly. Castiel lifts him self up and sinks heavily down onto Deans cock. Castiel leaned down and kissed Dean, Castiel pushes his hips down, as Dean thrust up. Castiel wanted Dean to fuck him hard. But Dean held his hips thrusting up slowly, Castiel broke the kiss moaning; as Deans hips thrust up in slowly motion. Castiel tried hard to cling onto Deans body, he wanted his release. “Dean please,” Castiel begged he wanted release.  
Dean pushed him off, flipping him over Castiel cried out as the thick head of Deans cock pushed into his hole. It burned and it felt so fucking good, Dean gripped Castiels hips. Dean continued to fuck Castiel, with an unforgiving rhythm. Castiel screamed, his head tossed back his eyes glazed over in ecstasy. Deans hips striking forward and Castiel screamed, his mind going numb Dean was giving it to him good; and Castiel just lost it he came with a scream. His body going limp, Deans fingers went white from the tight grip on Castiels hips, he came his body collapsing on top of Castiels. They both laid together that night, Castiel wrapped around Deans body with a content smile on his lips, Dean how ever though was awake just staring off into space his mind thinking.


	24. CH. 24

Being home it just felt odd, he didn’t know how to deal with it. Dean wanted to do something, he kissed Castiels cheek that morning and went job hunting. He returned later that night Castiel had made a dinner for the two of them, he was surprised when dean walked through the door; with a big smile on his face. He was surprised when dean took a hold of him picking him up, by the hips shutting the door with his foot. He pushed Castiel against the door, they were locked into a hot and heavy kiss. Dean stripped Castiels pants he unbuttoned his own pants pulling the zipper down he let out his hard cock. “Hold onto me.” Dean said Castiel grabbed deans shoulders, with barely any prep dean was inside him. Castiels eyes roll to the back of his head, deans cock oh his wonderful cock, inside him it made him see stars. Dean gave no mercy, a particular snap of Deans hips leaves him out of breath. He bounced up and down like a little rag doll. Dean placed his hands on Castiels ass lifting him up a bit higher. Castiel wrapped his legs around his waist just a bit tighter, dean pistoled his hips up the Castiel threw his head back gasping,

“Dean, Fuck yes, Dean.” Castiel screamed releasing a loud moan, as dean continued to hit his sweet spot with every single thrust. Castiel gasped and dug his nails into deans shoulders. “You fuck me so good, keep fucking me” Castiel sobbed dean kissed Castiels shoulder, his neck his cheek his lips.“Your cock dean your big cock, fuck me with it; make me cum.” Castiel begged. Dean bit Castiels neck relishing the sweet praise causing him to slam into him, with more aggression. Dean kissed him with passion swallowing Castiels moans as he came untouched, streams of white ruining their shirts. Dean continued to thrust till he found his own release. They collapsed to the floor quiet ungracefully their bodies sticky with sweat and other fluids. Castiel was breathing heavily, “That was.” He couldn’t find the words, he took a couple more deep breaths. “Dean you continue to surprise me.” Dean smiled he kissed Castiels head.  
“That was celebrating.” Dean said.  
“What did we celebrate?” Castiel asked  
“I got well you could say a part time job, in a garage.” Dean answered Castiel lifted his head kissing deans chin, he was surprised with the enthusiasm of deans love making.

“Dean” Castiels voice was barely above a whisper as he shook his husband awake “What?” Dean asked his voice groggy with sleep Castiel kissed his cheek “I heard a noise” Castiels words had dean jumping up his hand reaching for the hidden knife beneath his pillow he got up “Stay here baby” he said kissing Castiels lips Dean was very cautious and suddenly awake, he took careful steps making sure not to make any noise pulling the door open making sure not to make even the slightest noise he got down the stairs knife up ready to attack he yelped jumping backwards the lights suddenly came on Deans brothers were standing in front of him holding up pie with candles lit on it “Happy birthday” They shouted in unison. Dean dropped the knife in excitement he jumped and hugged his brothers. he never really celebrated his birthdays he didn't like them. Dean turned to Castiel, he walked up to him giving him a sloppy kiss. he whispered thank you before turning back to his brothers. Adam and dean were in a deep conversation, Sam followed Castiel to the kitchen,  
"Are you going to tell him" Sam asked rubbing Castiels shoulder Castiel shook his head  
"Not yet I want to cook him a big dinner to tell him." Sam excitedly pulled his brother in law in a hug  
"He's going to be so happy, and he's going to be a great dad Cas" Castiel hugged Sam tightly "You will be a wonderful uncle too promise me you'll spoil the baby and be here for it always" Sam nodded his head he let go of Castiel thanking him once more he left him be. Castiel was pregnant, he was so excited he was over the moon. Now he just had to tell dean. The celebrations were short lived as Sam and Adam were home only for the weekend.

Dean now felt contempt, he was now feeling happy with life, dean worked only three days a week the days. He worked then, came home to Castiel dressed all pretty dinner on the table. Playing the perfect house wife. It was all good Castiel was happy, everything was fine for weeks now. Castiel had been working up the courage to tell Dean of his pregnancy, but he was unable to get the words out of his mouth. In Castiels eyes everything was fine he was happy and it was all just fine, until it suddenly wasn’t. Dean came home one night, he didn’t look too good, there was anger on his face he didn’t kiss, Castiel didn’t look his way.

“Dean is everything alright?” Castiel asked Dean turned looking at Castiel with an odd way “Was it all a lie” Dean asked Castiel stared at him confused.  
“Answer me.” Dean asked his voice filled with anger.  
“Dean your scaring me.” Castiel said backing away. Dean was frightening Castiel had just wanted to tell Dean the news of their soon to come addition to the family, he opened his mouth to tell him.   
“Get in the car Cas, I want to show you something.” Dean demanded Castiel did so, kept his mouth shut followed dean out, he got in the car. Dean didn’t say a word to him his eyes were focused on the road, his fingers were gripping the wheel so tight; they were white. '“Dean, please you are worrying me what’s wrong?” Castiel asked he wanted to touch and hug his dean, to make everything alright. Dean didn’t say a thing, the car stopped not too far from their home to a ware house.  
“Dean.” Castiel asked again dean got out of the car he went and opened Castiels side door, he offered his hand. Castiel reluctantly took it, dean yanked him out of the car. Castiel cried in pain his body being dragged, by dean. there were two men guarding one of the doors, two very large and scary men. One of them nodded at dean pulling the door open. Castiel was lead inside it was nothing but darkness, a light a very dim one; but it just felt too far away. 

 

“When we went to Stanford, I took that shopping trip; I ran into someone who I thought to be dead. I ran after him wounded him, before I could end his life he said something to me. It caused me a shock so big, that I accidentally let him go.” Deans expression did not change, while castiel barley breathed, his breathing hitched he had never seen such a side to dean. Where had his sweet kind dean gone? “He asked mem what it was like sleeping with the man who made me an orphan? He got away that was on me, I didn’t believe him ;I had read his file he was known mostly for manipulating his victims. I put it out of mind, but I didn’t stop looking for him; it took me some time a lot of time.” Dean took Castiels hand again pulling him towards the light, Castiel gasped his free hand covering his mouth the man in-front of him. it didn’t look like a human being, his body was dis figured blood everywhere ;patches of skin missing. Castiel pulled away from dean the contents, of his stomach upturned straight onto the concrete ground. The sight of the mans hands it was too much, dean was vicious. The finger nails were missing Dean walked up to the unconscious man, slapping him awake. 

“Tell him.” Castiel wiped his mouth the nasty taste lingered. the mans eyes opened and Castiel was aghast. “Azazel.” Castiels voice barley a whisper, Dean heard him. Dean heard him and just like that deans deepest fear which he had hoped was just all a lie, just a sick man ready to manipulate him for his release. Dean who put on a big boy face had endured so much, he finally thought he found his happy ending. Turned out his happy ending was just a lie wrapped up in the form of a monster, who he had grown too deeply love.


	25. The manipulation

“Dean please you have to listen to me.” Dean snapped his fingers Castiel could hear footsteps approaching. “Dean, you have to hear my side please.” Castiel begged those men were coming to kill him, weren’t they ? Castiel was not going to be able to escape, he was scared   
The two large scary men standing outside the door had shown up by his side.   
“Take him home and make sure, he stays there.” Dean said his voice was calm and collected, he was not going to get angry. A hand closed around Castiels arm pulling him along, Castiel didn’t fight he was led away. He was going to make dean listen, Castiel whimpered as he heard a blood curdling screaming bounce off every wall.

                   

Castiel was sitting alone, quietly he was trying to find a way to either escape or come up with a good story. He desperately wanted his baby to be safe, and he desperately wanted dean to know he was going to be a father. Dean walked through the door a day later, he was calm and collected. His foot kicking the door shut he sat across from Castiel.   
“Tell me the truth.” Dean said.  
“Dean I only saw you, I didn’t know who you were and I fell in love with you.” Castiel answered Dean scoffed.  
“The truth Castiel.” Castiel swallowed hard.  
“Dean I am telling the truth.” Castiel answered   
“That’s a lie now answer me truthfully. I won’t ask again.” Deans voice, was not calm now he was so angry, and just straight up devastated; he was not going to let Castiel lie to him anymore. “You knew who I was the moment you saw me.” Castiel shook his head.   
“Dean I am telling the truth.” Dean took reached into his jacket pulling out a sharp blade, he placed it on the coffee table.   
“You lie to me again Castiel, I start cutting of some limbs.” Castiel whimpered dean was calling him Castiel he always called him Cas, never Castiel. There was a pause a heavy pregnant pause, before Castiel spoke up.   
“I recognized you the moment I saw you in the warehouse.” Deans expression didn’t change.

  
“I never forgot your eyes the moment I saw you I knew who you were and what I had done to you, I didn’t think you’d recognize me, let alone ask for me to please you. When you came to me the first time ,I was scared you had figured it all out and were coming to kill me. When you didn't make even a little hint of knowing me, I used it to my advantage." Castiel paused looking at deans face desperately trying to get a read on him. deans expression had not changed. "That night you spent in my room you were so drunk, all you did was talk about your brothers and how you were trying to give them a better life. You never laid a finger on me, you kept coming back we got know each other. I really liked you Dean the only problem was."   
"that you were carrying Benjamin child." Castiel stared at Dean in plain shock.   
"I just know his name, Benjamin one of Crowley's pets. Did you kill that kid too." Dean asked Castiel shook his head.   
"I didn't. I wouldn't." Castiel could tell dean didn't believe him, but he was determined to do so; he was going to make him believe Castiel.   
"I was ready to end my life, because i knew he wasn't coming back. When you offered to save my life, dean to get me out. I took it, You got me out dean you saved me. I love you for being so ama-"

  
"You didn't love me, you took the opportunity to get out. i did that for you, i made it happen for you. if you didn't have that miscarriage, you would have killed me. The moment you got the drop on me, with the knife you were conveniently concealing in your jacket." Castiel swallowed the ever grown lump in the back of his throat. "You haven't love me at all, you've just been manipulating me into falling in love with you. Even though you don't have the slightest of feelings for me." Dean stated   
"I...i was pretending for the first few months. But then on our date, our first date I really did fall for you and I continued to every day. dean I do love you dean, so much I will expect whatever punishment you throw at me dean. Please forgive me." Castiel begged Dean shook his head he stood up and once more walked out the door leaving Castiel alone.

 

AN: I apologize ahead of time for the slow updates, but school and work are kicking my ass. I am doing my best to write as much as i can its a bit slow. I hope you guys like and let me know what else you want to read in upcoming chapter.


	26. Ch 26

 Dean was gone for a month, Castiel was alone the house was empty. He was free to leave whenever he desired, he was showing that he really was pregnant his stomach had a noticeable bulging bump. Castiel stayed in the house, every day waiting for his husband to come home to him. Hoping all was forgiven Castiel had felt horrible, he had been playing a game with Dean’s feelings; stringing him along. It was true, he never loved Dean and he did plan to kill Dean. If his miscarriage hadn't happened, he would have stabbed Dean in the neck; dumped his body on the side of the road and took off. He stayed for protection he was using Dean, he was using him he couldn't get himself to fall in love with him. Not until their first date, that's when Castiel did fall for him and he fell hard. He was just so in love with him. A month Castiel had spent alone waiting for Dean, the food was taken care of it showed up at the door fresh every morning. Dean cared for him he really did that's why he was sending him food every day, to take care of him and also their unborn child. Castiel was sitting on the couch reading a book, when the door was banged open. It was one of the guards who barged in the reek of alcohol hit Castiel’s nose making him feel very nauseous. The guard he moved towards Castiel like a lion hunting its prey mouth open ready to sink its teeth right in.

  
“Guarding you and not being able to touch you, it’s been torture.” Castiel stared in horror that man jumped him, Castiel screamed pushing from that man he was trying hard to get away. Castiel kept screaming his shirt was torn off of him, and the man was biting into his neck. He was screaming and kicking Castiel was praying for it all to stop. It suddenly did the man on top of him went very still, and then he was pushed off. It was not Castiel who had done it, Dean was standing over Castiel his eyes wide open; holding bottle of beer in his hand. Dean grabbed Castiels arm yanking him up, Castiel right away attached himself to Dean. Tears were pouring out of his eyes, Dean was still as a board he didn’t touch Castiel did not hug him.  Castiel had passed out his body gone limp in Deans arms. Dean was so torn into pieces he wanted to tear Castiel away from him, he didn’t know why he picked him up and took him to their bedroom. He laid Castiel on their bed there was blood on his neck, where one of his men had bitten into his shoulder. Dean cleaned the wound putting a gauze over the wound he noticed the bump the baby bump. Dean placed a hand over Castiels stomach he grabbed a shirt out of the closet, pulling it over Castiels head. He re dressed him, he once more placed his hand over the bump he didn’t know what to feel at this moment. For the life of him Dean could not forgive him, he needed to figure all this out; but more than anything he need a fucking drink. He walked out of the room to the kitchen, he grabbed the strongest bottle of liquor he could find. The guard that was standing over his unconscious friend.

  
“Take him your money will be in your account, make him disappear.” Dean ordered the conscious man dragged the unconscious man away. Dean started to drink, it burned but he wanted to be drunk. He wanted to forget everything but it wasn’t easy, how could he put aside everything Castiel had done to hurt him. He couldn’t move past it hours passed Dean was drunk, and Castiel was awake. He had been dressed in a new shirt, was he dreaming because he saw Dean before he passed out. He quickly rushed down stairs the guards were gone, Castiel looked around to find Dean. He was holding a bottle of liquor it was dark and Castiel could smell it.  
“Dean” Castiel rushed to his husband he hadn’t seen his husband in a month, hadn’t felt his touch it felt like decades since he had seen him. Dean put his hand up pushing Castiel back.  
“Convince me why I should let you stay?” Dean demanded Castiel opened his mouth, to start begging him to let him stay with him. “Dean I’m not good at many things, I am good at sex; I can please you.” Dean’s memory it was impeccable.  
 “Dean.” Castiel spoke in tears already he was not going to be able to do that, Castiel stood stiff he looked at Dean he needed to convince him, so he started to take his shirt off Dean stood up from the chair his eyes set on the bump.  
“You stay with me.” Dean started Castiel raised his hand placing it on Deans shoulder, he started on kissing Deans neck. “Your payment for me letting you stay here.” Dean continued Castiel worked on trying to find a soft spot on Dean’s neck. “Sex, will be payment, I can take you whenever I want, you will not have to worry for your safety or for this unborn child’s.” Dean said he took a hold of Castiels shoulders pushing him away. “I don’t love you, you broke my heart you were my happy ending, but you have lost all my respect. Do not come near me don’t try to love me, don’t do a thing for me.” Dean said “Be a good husband for me Castiel, that’s all you can do.” Dean pushed away from Castiel, he went upstairs to their bedroom he laid in bed letting himself fall asleep. He needed it he’d worry about the headache and hangover another time.


	27. Ch 27

Days passed too slow it was agonizing, Castiels stomach grew larger as the months passed. Dean was home with him, but he truly wasn’t there. It was just the two of them two odd strangers staying together, Dean Barley acknowledged Castiel he didn’t raise his hand on him, didn’t push him for anything. They just lived life like two strangers, Castiels anger grew day by day Living like complete strangers. Castiel could not take it anymore they slept in the same bed, but didn’t speak a word or touch each other. Castiel tried to make advances at Dean but he was completely rejected the part time job Dean had turned into full time Castiels stomach was humongous to him he was in his sixth month castile was too afraid to ask Dean to take him to the doctors he knew the child was alive he could feel its movements he wanted Dean to feel it but Dean didn’t even look his way. Castiel pretended to be that pretty little house wife making Dean Food, washing his clothes but Dean didn’t speak to him. Why wouldn’t he speak to him? It wasn’t like he had apologized he did so many times, but did Dean listen no. He never fucking listened   
  
“Dean.” Castiel spoke so softly Dean was in their bedroom sitting, on the edge of the bed; cleaning out the bottom his boots with a scraper. He pretended not to have heard Castiel say his name, Castiel spoke up again. “Dean, Can you please forgive me?” Castiel asked he was desperate for Dean’s touch, to hear Dean say his name he needed it. “Dean I know what I did, with playing with your emotions. I did wrong please Dean can’t we just move past it, and live our lives as it was.” Dean stood up he faced Castiel momentarily, before making his way out of their bedroom. “Dean.” Castiel yelled he didn’t run after him though he should have he just had enough of this mess, that night when Dean was a sleep his back turned to Castiel. Castiel got out of bed rushing for the closet he grabbed the bag, he had prepped. He was going to leave and he was sure Dean would come chasing after him; because Dean loved him and he would find him. Castiel was confident he opened the door walked through the hall way, as carefully as he possibly could; not to even make a creek. Castiel knew it was stupid plan but he was done being ignored by his husband, he needed attention and he was going to have it. The moment he took his first steps, he was sliding down the stairs. What felt like a punch to his spine had him sliding down the stairs, a high pitched scream left his mouth. As he landed on the bottom of the stairs, his head banging hard the last thing he saw was Dean serious face, before passing out cold.  
  
    Castiel awoke in the hospital, Dean was sitting in a chair, and stood with him two guards. “Cas.” Dean spoke his voice filled with worry.   
“Sir we need you to step outside, so we may speak to Mr. Castiel alone.” Dean looked at Castiel it was an odd look it was something, Castiel had never seen before. He didn’t know what to make of it the two officers surrounded Castiel now.   
“Mr. Castiel we aren’t going to beat around the bush.” Castiel just realized he was unable to move it hurt his body. “You don’t have to be afraid, we can keep you safe.” Castiel shook his head,   
“He didn’t hit me.” Castiel answered the officers looked at him with worry. “I could not sleep, it happens often this little one does not like letting me sleep. I have a habit of pacing, I slipped on stairs I remember screaming for Dean when I slipped.” Castiel answered he looked at them with confidence showing them he was not lying, and it worked. After that it was all a blur nurses and doctors coming in warning him to relax, and be in bed. He was on bed rest until further notice, then Dean walked in he stepped towards. Castiel who stared at Dean in fear, Dean didn't say a thing he gently pushed Castiels legs to the side and sat. He took the box and placed it on Castiels thigh,   
"I have always hated hospital food." Dean said his voice was soft and gentle, Dean pulled the lid up and revealed a chocolate cake. Castiels favorite there was extra, frosting over it Castiels favorite craving during his pregnancy. Dean pulled out a plastic spoon, he scooped up some frosting he brought it up to Castiels lips. Castiel opened his lips he hummed at the sweet taste of the cake. Dean didn't say anything else he just kept feeding him until the cake was all gone. Castiel was sipping on water that Dean pressed to his lips, Dean set the glass aside and tucked Castiel in.   
"Get some rest. They want you here for observation we will leave tomorrow." Castiel could only nod to Dean Castiel was only on a mild pain killer, he couldn't feel the pain but there was some uncomfortableness. Dean was quiet and he was silently curled up in a chair watching over Castiel, for the night. Dean said nothing didn't speak to Castiel just watched over him. It made Castiel feel truly happy, maybe his husband was coming around to forgiving him. Castiel woke with a start as the nurse accidentally shut the door too loudly, Castiel woke up with a scare.   
“Let's get you guys checked out." The nurse spoke so loud Castiel looked at Dean for help. Dean was standing up straight talking with the nurse; signing whatever papers they needed in order for them to take their leave. Castiel was carefully put in a wheelchair which Dean pushed out to the car, with Deans help he got into the car. Their car ride was quiet until Castiel spoke up.  
"Dean do you want a boy or a girl?" They were at a stop light when Castiel asked it was unexpected, Dean reached over and laid a hand on Castiels stomach, he flinched when he felt the baby kick against his hand.   
"A girl." Dean answered Castiel laid his hand on Deans.   
"Me too." He answered that was the longest conversation, they had in months and Castiel was happy and content with it.

  
When Castiel was on bed rest for the remaining of his pregnancy, He was taken care of by Dean who waited on him hand and foot. A month into it when Castiel initiated a kiss, it was Dean who pulled away first. Castiel grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him into a deep kiss. He begged Dean to use him he was desperate for Deans touch, so he let Dean take him the kisses the marks the hard thrusts. The screams and moans it made Castiel feel so content, when he slipped into the best sleep he’d had in months.  
     He woke in the morning to an empty bed, Dean was pacing the room. Castiel could only stare at him for the minute or so before clearing his throat to get Deans attention, and then Dean spoke up. "I don't forgive you, I refuse to you have torn me into pieces. Cas I don't feel anything for you anymore, The door is open cas the choice is yours, the offer still stands identity, and money you can leave and never have to come face to face to me." Dean laid out the terms quiet clear, Castiel shook his head he was determined to make this work. He would no matter what hell he went through, he would not give up on Dean.   
"I'm staying." Castiel said firmly.   
"It will be hell for you, you said to use you for sex. I will. You wanted to play house let's play house then. You live by my rules, you don't get to be a loving housewife to me; I don't want you eating at the same table as me, I don't want anything from you are we clear." Castiel nodded his head then spoke   
"We are clear Dean." Castiel answered   
"Just remember Castiel, I gave you a way out. You chose this."

**AN: I apologize for the shortness and the long wait, I have not been able to write. I have just been through a really tough time, my uncle who was like my father passed in a car accident not even days a go. I am trying my best to move through it, just give me some time I will be back with more chapters soon.**

**Please comment and let me know how you liked the chapters.**


	28. ch 28

Castiel refused to leave, Dean he wanted to be with the man he loved. He was going to make everything alright, he was very determined to do this. He was going to fix everything. He was. You just watch. Castiel was very determined, Dean hadn’t touched him and Castiel was so nervous as to why. He hadn’t yet ,the baby was growing rapidly. He was a month away from his delivery, he hadn’t spoken to Sam and Adam for so long. He wasn’t even sure they knew the complexity of their situation, Dean looked different from before he was supporting a full beard now. Castiel found it sexy rather very sexy, he found himself looking at Dean just staring all day. Wishing Dean would say something to him or just jump him right away. Castiel was starting to feel a lot better now, he could walk just a little but it would hurt his back. Today was the day of his appointment, Dean helped him out of bed, get dressed and lastly got him in the car. Castiel was rubbing his stomach quietly staring out the window.   
“Dean we haven’t thought of names yet?” Castiel said Dean looked at the road with concentration, he didn’t say anything he would be lying.   
If he said he hadn’t thought about it, he wanted a meaningful name for his child. Their car came to a stop at the doctor’s office, it was rather quick Castiel went in a couple minutes later. He was inside the exam room with Dean standing by  his side, Castiel flinched when they got the cold gel get on his stomach. He had his head back and he was just not paying attention, he shut his eyes for a second and when he opened them; Dean was smiling. It wasn’t at him or the ultra sound monitor, It was the nurse Dean was smiling at the nurse. Castiel ignored it completely, he put it behind him. He thought nothing of it for now, he was focused on the baby that they were showing him, it was last check up before he was due to deliver. Castiel felt so happy the arrival of their child will fix it all, Dean would be happy and he would love him again.

  
    The second they walked through the door of the house Castiel spoke up. “Why were you smiling at her?” Dean groaned he was not in the mood for this conversation.   
“Go get some rest Cas.” Dean ordered he wanted a drink,   
“Dean why were you smiling at her?” Castiel demanded to know, he had a fear in his mind and he wanted to confirm it. He needed Dean to say it.   
“Drop the conversation and go to bed.” Dean ordered Castiel didn’t listen.   
“You’ve been sleeping with her, haven’t you.” Dean didn’t say anything and that’s when Castiel knew.   
“How could you?” Castiels screamed Dean just stared at Castiel. Castiel was heartbroken the anger it just grew, he was so fucking angry right now. He stood up and straight and pushed at Deans chest. “I know what I did was wrong, but I have apologized. I have begged you for apologies, you have been pushing me away. Is it that hard to forgive me?” Castiel was now sobbing and screaming at Dean. Dean stood still staring at Castiel.   
“You want me to forgive you Castiel, here is how I will forgive you. Erase everything you have done to me, you orphaned me; you manipulated me. I gave you so many chances to get out, yet you chose to stay. You chose to try and make this pathetic relationship work. I feel nothing but hatred for you, You don’t get to ask me to forgive you.” Dean said he only paused he went into the kitchen, taking a plate he brought it to Castiel eyes and then threw it on the floor; letting it shatter to the floor. “Put that plate together, Castiel piece by piece. The cracks will be there make them disappear, my heart feels like this. Stupid fucking plate shattered, no matter how hard I try to piece it together. I just can’t make the cracks disappear. I loved you the moment I saw you, I saved you because I wanted you to become free. You didn’t love me you played with my heart, and don’t play that bullshit about falling in love with me on our first date. Every word that comes out of your mouth is so hard to believe, I don’t know what to do; or what to believe any more with you. I just want everything to end, I stay up at nights putting a gun to my head. Hoping I have enough balls to fucking end it all, I don’t know what stops me. I can’t take the betrayal any more.” Castiel was in tears now he didn’t know what to say to his husband, the only thing that slipped out of his mouth was.

  
“It was easy manipulating you, oh look at me the all sacrificing Dean. I deserve so much more than what this shitty life gave me, oh someone out there please love me, please love this broken little puppy.  It was so easy to manipulate you, to lead you and your right. I didn’t love you not on our first date, not on our second; not on our last date. I didn’t love you the only reason, I kept you around was so when the dangerous life you live would end. I would end up with all you have, my only regret poor little Adam. He shouldn’t have gotten in-“ Castiel didn’t get to finish his sentence, a punch had landed on his cheek bone. It nearly knocked him out off his feet, Castiel shut his eyes expecting another. But this time a hand closed around his arm, tugging him up and dragging him up the stairs. Castiel was thrown on the bed by a hard slap.   
“You  bastard.” Dean screamed he was so fucking angry, he felt guilty for hitting him. He walked out slamming the door hard he locked the door behind him. Dean ran down the stairs trying to find an escape, he searched and searched till he found it a bottle of the strongest alcohol; he had Dean popped the cap and began drinking. Letting his mind go hazy slowly he felt so much conflict inside him, what the hell was he supposed to do? He needed to let his anger out and the gun, he was pressing to his head; he wished he had enough courage to press the fucking trigger. He just couldn’t do it, he didn’t know what was stopping him. he let the gun drop to the floor, he got up drunk out of his mind. He stood up stumbling up the stairs hours, had passed Castiel was asleep the fatigue catching up to him. He was exhausted Dean pushed the door open, he fell into bed he looked at Castiels sleeping form. He saw the baby bump and his mouth opened and words, started popping out he placed his hand over it.   
“I hope you’re a girl.” Dean whispered “My lovely little Emma, I am going to love you and give you everything, I never had I’m going to give you so much love. I’m your papa Dean.” Dean paused kissing the bump. “You’re my little baby Emma, I have two brothers, your uncles. They are going to love the hell out of you, I’m sorry for my anger I’m in so much pain Emma. Make it go away Emma.” Dean continued talking he knew no one was listening. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiels body his face resting against the bump, he kept talking until he was too tired to do so.  
  
  
  
Castiel woke with a heavy pain in his jaw, it took a minute for him to remember that Dean had punched him last night. He tried to move but something was holding him. Castiel looked down to find Dean wrapped around him, his cheek was resting against the baby bump. Castiel pretended to be a sleep, until Dean awoke and the only reason Dean awoke was because of a kick. He felt it against his cheek his Emma was kicking. Dean woke he was groaning his head hurt and brain was hazy. He sat up and first look at Castiel, the bruise was visible on his cheek. Dean decided not to care he was done with this shitty relationship, he could not deal with it he laid a kiss on Castiels baby bump whispering a quiet good morning. He was still a buzz from yesterday’s drinking, he needed another one but he just couldn’t get the courage up to drink again. Instead he turned to food he ate alone so many thoughts just running up and down his mind. Castiel, got up and out of the bedroom “Dean.” Castiel called out There was no reply, Castiel nervously stepped forward Dean got up he walked past Castiel and out the door. It was like that for a week until, Dean stumbled through the door his first thought was Cas and sex. He really wanted sex right now so he went looking for Castiel. Castiel screamed and sobbed through it, It felt bad Dean didn't take it easy on him either. He only seek-ed his own pleasure, Castiel bit his lip till it bled he didn't beg. Castiel kept telling himself he deserved it. It was all he was good for Castiel cried, when Dean finished and fell to the side, Castiel stood up with so much difficulty. He went to the bath he didn't care if the water was too hot or how it burned, he didn't feel clean. He wanted to be clean but no matter how hard he scrubbed, he just didn't feel clean.


	29. ch 29

                  It continued like that Dean kept at it meaningless sex and nothing but quietness, Castiels pregnancy neared its end soon. Castiel was restless most nights he would wake from muscles he didn't even think he had, being over stretched. He felt like shit but Dean didn't pay attention, he was home now more often. Castiel was still in bed rest, he was fed daily by Dean; but most of the time Dean was up and about in the house. Castiel took to books he couldn't face Dean, it was scary. So he kept his head low and let Dean, do what he pleased. Castiel was asleep when it finally happened, an intense pain running though his body. Castiel reached out to take Deans hand, but he was unable Dean wasn't there Castiel whimpered out, Deans name. There was no reply. His body was aching so he stood up with so much difficulty, unable to breathe. He grabbed the wall for support it took five minutes, just to get out of the room. He barely made it to the stairs his vision was blurry now. "Dean." Castiel called out before falling back the last thing he heard was his name, but not just from Deans mouth but two other strangers. He couldn't even recognize them.

 

                     Dean was in the living room sharing a beer with his two brothers, they'd decided to come home for the baby’s arrival. Even if it was just a short break home, but they just missed their family and wanted to see them. It was written all over Deans face, Sam didn’t press he just kept his calm and waited on Dean to tell him. He had just dealt with some very big issues of his own, and there was no way he was ready for a deep emotional talk. What was wrong and the moment he opened his mouth to do so, it was Castiels strained pain filled voice. That had the brothers rushing the only thing they saw was Castiel, clutching onto his bulging stomach. He was whimpering in pain before he fell back hitting the floor, it was difficult picking up Castiel but Dean managed. It was by Sam’s support and Adams quick driving that got them, to the hospital and by some miracle they’d gotten Castiel in the operating room. There was no time they had to do an emergency delivery, Sam and Adam sat in chairs as Dean went inside following the doctors and nurses. He had to stand aside holding Castiels hand, as they began. It wasn’t long until Dean heard it the loud wailing had him standing on his feet. Scouring up to look over the damned doctors and nurses, they had his baby and suddenly all he wanted to do was hold his baby.

  
       
                    Sam was on his phone playing a mindless game, Adam was a sleep his head on Sam’s shoulder. They’d been waiting for hours for someone to come out with some information. The door opened another hour later, just when Sam had begun dozing off. Dean stepped out holding a bundled up baby in his arms. Sam stood up quickly knocking, Adams head to the side causing him to wake up in alert. “What?” He asked rubbing his eyes,   
“Guys?” Dean breathed out Adam and Sam were on their toes for a peak.   
“Guys I would like for you to meet Emma May Winchester.” Dean was shedding tears he was just in such awe.   
“After mom.” Sam asked Dean nodded his head, Sam wanted nothing more to hold her now he was in tears. When Dean carefully slid the baby into his arms. “Oh Dean, she’s beautiful.” Sam whispered laying a kiss on Emma’s clothed head, it caused Emma to stir Sam was in tears. He could not let the baby go, he just wanted to sit and hold her to him. Emma stirred more when Adam held her oh so carefully he looked at Dean then at the baby.

  
“Thank you Dean.” Adam whispered it was a brief meeting; Dean had to take Emma back to the room. The doctors had awoken Castiel, he was just starting to come around his eyes opening. It was to the sight of Dean holding a bundle in his arms, he was gently rocking back and forth he was humming a song. Castiel knew it the song was Jude something, Dean used to sing it all the time.  
“Dean.” Castiel called out successfully getting his attention; Dean stopped rocking and turned to Castiel he was sitting up. Dean carefully laid Emma in Castiels arms.   
“Emma.” Dean whispered Castiel was in tears the moment, he landed eyes on his baby girl he couldn’t look away. “Emma Mary Winchester.” Dean leaned down and kissed Castiels lips, it was the heat of the moment. He was so thankful for his baby girl, Castiel gasped into the kiss. He kissed Dean back with just as much enthusiasm loving every second of it, he hadn’t been kissed by Dean for what like a decade now. Castiel was in heaven not only from the kiss, but he had a baby now a perfect daughter. He felt like everything was going to be alright now.

 

AN: Hey guys I'm back and very thankful, for all the wonderful comments. I am doing a lot better now just getting along with life now, Enjoy this super short chapter, leave me comments. I love reading them.   
Thank you so much.


	30. ch 30

               The day they got the baby home, Castiel was not able to walk on his own feet too much. Due to his wounds so Dean supported him in while Sam brought in baby Emma. Dean was just sitting Castiel into the right position, when Adam spoke up. “Dean she doesn’t have a nursery.” Adam said setting down the baby stuff.   
“Yeah she does, I built her one.” Dean answered.   
“When?” Adam asked Dean shrugged   
“Took a couple weeks off of work, and turned the storage room into a nursery.” Dean answered. Dean took Emma from Sam.

  
                “Let’s go see your room Emma.” Castiel was picked up by Sam and carefully taken up stairs, Dean came to his room turned right that’s where the storage room used to be. It was big size just an extra room that they had used for junk, as Dean opened the door Castiel Sam and Adam stood in shock. It was beautiful the room had been painted a beautiful sky blue, soft white clouds everywhere randomly scattered. Each cloud had an animal painted on some eyes peeking through, it was perfect for Emma.   
“Dean did you do this?” Sam asked Dean sighed.   
“Yeah Sam I did. All own my own some of it is a bit off, but I think I did alright.”   
“Oh Dean this is wonderful.” Castiel said he leaned up and kissed Dean’s cheek “Thank you” Dean smiled he felt all warm and fuzzy he didn’t like it.  
    The first three days Emma slept in their room, Dean wasn’t willing to part from her and she woke wailing into the nights; it was Dean who looked after her. Feeding her, burping her, walking around the house; so she could sleep. Castiel could only watch Sam and Adam kept him healthy, it was hard for Castiel tried to do his best to heal up. He was healing but it wasn’t fun, he couldn’t move without help he felt strong now. He moved around slowly and carefully, Dean didn’t talk to him too much he just kept looking after Emma.

  
                    “Adam.” Dean whispered gently shaking his brother, Adam was a sleep and baby Emma sleeping on him. Dean had gone out for a grocery run, Sam was out for the night he need a breath of fresh air; school was getting him down. Dean picked up Emma first laying her in her own crib, he went back down to shake Adam awake all he got was a whine, and Adam throwing his arms out.   
“okay you are too old for this.” Dean said but non the less, he got down he picked up Adam. “What the hell is Sam feeding you?” Dean groaned Adam had definitely gotten heavier, Dean picked him up.  Adam grabbed onto Dean.

  
             “I missed you so much Dean.” Adam said Dean kicked the door open to Adams room.   
“I missed you too Adam” Dean said back to him he laid his brother in bed.   
“You look sad Dean.” Adam said patting his brother’s cheek.  
 “I’m happy Adam, I’m so happy.” Dean said smoothing Adams hair down.   
“No you’re not Dean, you like the old Dean.” Adam paused letting Dean tuck him under the blanket. “The old Dean was always sad, and put on a smile but I can always see him so sad. “ Adam said Dean sighed his brother knew him very well. “Dean be happy please don’t be sad any more.” Adam said Dean patted his brothers head Dean left the room.  
Sam was on the phone it was a hushed conversation, Dean only caught a second of I love you and I miss you. Sam pocketed his phone, turning to Dean. “Sit we need to talk.” Sam ordered Dean groaned going to the fridge, he pulled out a beer but Sam snatched it out of his hand. “You want to tell me, why you’ve started drinking again?” Dean lowered his head.

  
         “I just like drinking Sam.” it was not justifying it ,but drinking helped him forget   
“I think you’ve forgotten, that you are a father now Dean. You need to stop drinking whatever the problem is, you need to fix it instead of killing your body.” Dean shook his head at his brother the damn logic, he always pulled on him it was annoying. Sam was very stern he wanted to know the reason behind his brothers stress.   
“Sam It’s nothing drop the topic.” Dean asked politely getting up he walked out the door, and Sam followed Dean continued walking until he was far from home.  
 “Dean just talk to me.” Sam yelled grabbing his arm, he yanked his brother back.   
“Why are you behaving so badly to Cas Dean? you look at him with so much hatred, what happened Dean?” Sam asked Dean shook his head .  
“I don’t want to talk about this.” Dean yelled Sam kept pressing   
“Why not Dean? What is it that’s causing you to behave so badly with him?” Dean pushed Sam away

  
         “He took out parents away Sam.” Dean yelled Sam could only think of one thing,   
“He was a child Dean, you can’t blame him for this he was a bait for a bigger fish.” Sam tried to say but Dean, cut him off   
“I forgave that, I forgave it. Sam but he used me I have been through hell, so you wouldn’t have to. All I wanted was a happy ending Sam a person whom I could truly love, I loved him so much. So fucking much. He doesn’t he used me even, when I gave him a way out. Sam he used me when I gave my heart to him, he tossed it aside.” Dean yelled “I can’t forgive him Sam. I just can’t. Please don’t ask me too, I can’t look at him the way I used to, I have nothing but hatred for him.” Dean was in tears Sam grabbed his brother holding onto him tight, this was not fair to his brother, he needed to know more and he intended to find out.  
                       
            Dean was rocking Emma calming her down she was crying too much, Castiel was out of bed and walking around now. He was healing up fine. “Take her for a walk.” Sam suggested pulling out the stroller, Dean nodded his head and carefully placing his daughter in the stroller. He got her out of the house the moment, Dean was out the door the wailing stopped. Dean breathed a sigh of relief, he tried to go back in but Emma started wailing again. Dean groaned at this point he had no choice, but to continue walking if he wanted to keep her quiet. He would just have to deal with it, Dean was all smiles. The second Sam was sure that Dean was gone, he dashed up the stairs to Castiel who was startled as Sam slammed the door behind him. Adam had fallen asleep ages ago.

  
          “Is everything alright Sam?” Castiel asked looking at his brother in law, who was doing his best impression of a deer caught in headlights.   
“Was everything Dean said true?” Sam asked Castiel stared at him confused just for moment, before he registered what Sam had been asking. “Yes it is true. If you wish to hurt me for your satisfaction too you are more th-“ Sam cut Castiel off by a hug   
“I don’t hate you, It was not your fault.” Sam said Castiel hugged tight smoothing his hair. he sat him down fetching a glass of water he made Castiel take slow sips. Castiel began talking explaining the rift between him and Dean. By the end of it Sam could do nothing but stare.   
“You lied to him.” Sam asked Castiel nodded his head  
 “Everything I said to him was the truth. I fell in love with him and I do still love him very much, he doesn’t want to believe me and that’s okay. I will make him believe me.” Castiel sounded so determined, but Sam knew it was never going to work. Dean was very hard headed he would never believe Castiel this relationship was doomed. Sam couldn’t do anything to convince Dean of Castiels innocence.  



	31. ch 31

There was no time to even say a thing to Dean, the next morning Adam and Sam had to leave, Adam was holding Emma sitting next to Castiel. while Sam was chatting with Dean. “Please Dean I know he lied Castiel loves Adam so much, he would never hurt him; just talk with him try and get to know his side. He hasn’t had an easy life either, fix this relationship before it’s too late. Take it from me Dean you need to fix this.” Dean only shook his head   
“I’ll think on it, now go get back safe.” Dean demanded Sam felt like all his words had just gone through one ear, and out the other with no effect on his brain. He grabbed a hold of Deans shoulder he wanted to punch his brother,   
“For the love of whatever the hell you have faith in, Dean talk to him.” Sam yelled Dean shook his head   
“I only ever had faith on him.” Deans expression kicked Sam in the gut, he felt so sad all of a sudden unable to say another word. He hugged his brother.   
“Get back safe and call me when you land.” Sam nodded his head Adam did his best not to tear up, when he was handing over Emma to Sam so he could hug Dean. It was a long hug Adam would not let go, he just wanted to hold onto his brother.   
“Dean remember don’t be sad anymore.” Adam said pulling on Deans cheeks forcing him to smile, Dean kissed Adams head.   
“I am definitely going to miss you the most.” Dean said he drove his brothers to the airport.

  
                The rest of the story well its goes a bit like this, Dean was not taking it easy on Castiel. It started slowly with small stuff pushing Castiel away sometimes he’d come home and first thing it would be sex. Dean reeked most times of grease and sweat, at other times of alcohol and women’s perfume.  Dean hadn’t raised his hand on him not yet at least. It was Castiel who pushed it to far, he was cleaning the house Dean was gone Emma was taking a nap in her nursery, so Castiel got bored and began to clean. It was an accident he shouldn’t even have found that box, but he somehow did under a loose tile in the corner of the pantry. A small box lay it had a fireman on it, the box itself was burned slightly around the edges. Castiel shouldn’t have opened it, but he was just so curious. He pulled it open and inside it were some envelopes all titled Dean and right next to them numbers. There were only seven Castiel pulled one open, completely ignoring the nagging voice at the back of his head to shut it. The hand writing was beautiful Castiel could tell it was a woman’s, so he began reading with each passing line he clutched the paper harder. It tore from the sides he was so immersed in it, he hadn’t heard Dean come in and call for him. He wasn’t half way through the letter when his body was flung across the floor, and Dean was on top of him throwing punches. Castiel didn’t know why he was so angry not until Dean got off of him and ran to the half torn papers. Castiel realized it was the last remnants of his mother’s memories which was all he had Dean was even scared to touch the papers they were torn. It was all he had of his moms it was torn.

  
                Castiel was doing his best to be not near Dean he was so scared, so he stood up  making himself seem small. He walked up to their bedroom hiding himself in the bathroom. His face was bloody and he just wanted to hide it to hide from Dean, and also apologize Castiel did his best to clean up his face he was half way, when Emma began crying so Castiel abandoned his clean up and went to his daughter. He changed the diaper and began feeding her, but her wailing continued it felt like hours before she fell asleep in his arms. Castiel gently placed her in her crib. There was dried up blood on neck and shoulder that needed to be cleaned up. Castiel went into their bedroom, Dean was sitting there on their bed there was a kit next to him. "Sit." Dean ordered Castiel tried to make himself small, he was afraid Dean had hit him hard. Castiel did so he sat next to Dean, Dean grabbed Castiels face pushing it up. Dean began to clean the wound with a cotton round, Castiel winced as Dean cleaned his every wound, Castiel winced he didn’t say a thing though. He held on to his pants clutching them tight, Dean didn’t say anything he put the kit away. He left the room it was like that from now on, Dean and Castiel barley interacted it was just quiet. Castiel would try his best to get near, Dean but now days it was met with punches and kicks. Dean never showed his anger towards Emma, he was always calm and quiet with her, never laid a finger on her; gave her kisses, took her to the park. Castiel would silently follow any time Emma would toss up milk, Castiel would clean it it was such an odd life. Castiel knew if he misbehaved he would be put into the old life, he had an old shitty life. Where he was taken by a different man every night. He had a way out and he should have taken it, he was just beginning to realize the mistake he made. He was beginning to realize he couldn’t get out of. This life at least was less shitty then his old one for now  he felt somewhat content he wanted to stay with Dean. Even if it meant taking his abuse he would do it.  


                “He loved you and stuck around with you, yet you treat him like shit. I’m with Castiel on this one, that man needs to get the hell away from you.” Benny said he listened to the whole story all of it, and now he was more angrier then ever by the end of it. He just wanted to break all of Deans teeth.Dean scoffed   
“Of course poor little Castiel, didn’t do nothing wrong. Had a tough life I got him out of it, I gave him a way out; I pulled him through hell. I didn’t expect anything from him, didn’t expect him to get on his knees and worship me. I saved him and he destroyed me by hiding everything from me, he had a tough life so did I; he was responsible for it.” Benny’s face was full of anger, he couldn’t express it though his poor Castiel. He wasn’t able to find him for so long, and he looked everywhere every hidden corner he could thing of. If Benny had been with Castiel it would have been perfect, instead it was just Dean. He had to get his Castiel away from him. Dean stared at benny for a minute, before it clicked in his mind.

  
                “You told him where I was, didn’t you. Because if there is any one capable, of tracking me down its you.” Dean asked Benny stared at him “Crowley wants you back and he’s willing to go the distance, to have you back on his team.” Benny answered Dean didn’t bother looking around, he knew they were there it was a set up.   
“You can’t have him Benjamin, he won’t leave me not for you. He will stay with me. I plan to live a long lengthy life with him, now I’m going to get up and walk away. If I see a car tailing me, well I don’t have to tell you; what I’m capable of now do I benny.” Dean stood up and slapping down a twenty dollar bill, he walked out of the diner as soon as Dean was gone Benny dug out his phone.   
“He won’t do it.” Benny’s voice was calm as he listened to the voice from the other line.   
“If we touch him, that’s war.” Benny said it was another second before the voice spoke up   
“War it is then.”

AN: The flashback is over on with the story writing on my spare time as much as i can. Please please comment i would just love to read all of your comments.


	32. Chapter 32

 Dean drove home Castiel was in the kitchen. “I’m home.” Dean announced Castiel smiled bright at the sight of Dean, he waved at him. He had Emma in his arms she was trying to fit her hand, inside her mouth. Dean stepped forward and took Emma into his arms.   
"Movie night." Dean asked at the sight of homemade caramel popcorn.   
"Dark Knight." Castiel answered Dean nodded his head, he held Emma kissing her cheek.   
"Dean, is it okay, if i bring a friend over for movie night?" Sam asked popping into the kitchen.  
"Yeah that's fine with me." Dean answered he watched his family, he knew what he had to do this was going to hurt him a lot but it was time.   
"I'm taking her for a walk." Dean said he had his phone in his hand, Emma on his hip. He put the phone in his hand and began walking and talking. It was a rather long conversation, but by the end of it his baby was a sleep on his chest and he was feeling less shitty. He felt like he was going to be okay now. It was a very tough decision but he was making it for the right reasons, When Dean made it home he was not happy at the sight of Benny sitting on his couch; in his spot and sitting right next to Castiel. He had his finger running over Castiels hair fixing it up, this did not make Dean happy. Deans eyes narrowed, at him Benny smiled at Dean,   
"I thought id invite him over for the night." Dean nodded his head, Castiel stood up he went to the crib fluffing it up. Dean laid her in the crib, he took the seat next to benny extending his arm out. He cleared his throat, Castiel squeezed next to Dean it was a two seat couch. Dean laid his arm over Castiels shoulder pulling him in, Sam and Adam took over the other two couches through the movie, Dean and Benny sat keeping a safe distant.  Dean kept his eyes on the TV while his hand was outstretched towards his boot, for his hidden knife. The movie wasn't even over yet already, Castiel was a curled up against Dean and fully asleep. Dean didn't excuse himself he just stood up gathering Castiel, in his arms he took him to bed. Dean didn't wish to go down and sit anywhere near benny. He pulled the blankets over Castiel and lay next to him, it felt like hours because he just could not fall asleep. No matter how hard he tried he placed his hand on Castiels lower stomach,   
"I know this is a hard decision, but i have to do it i hope you'll understand one day." 

Dean got out of bed shedding his shirt, he went down to the basement. Where the sandbag was hanging off the ceiling, he grabbed his gloves and began to throw punches as hard as he could. He was feeling so fucking shitty he kept pushing and pushing himself, unaware of how much time had really passed. "Dean." Castiel stood in the stairs his eyes set on Deans body,   
"What is it cas?" Castiel didn't look away, he kept staring at Deans heaving chest.   
"Bed." Castiel whispered Dean could have sworn he saw Castiels cock twitch through, the thin material. It made Dean smile he ripped his gloves off, tossing them aside he moved towards; Castiel like a lion ready to sink it's teeth in his prey. His delicious prey Castiel gasped as his body, was lifted off the floor. His lips were captured in passionate kiss, Castiel gasped and moaned at the Same time in shock. He gripped Deans hands that were on his face.   
“Dean” Castiel gasped   
“Shh” Dean whispered he lifted Castiels chin up, his mouth kissing down the long column of his throat Castiel felt as if he was going weak, in the knees he had to try and grip onto Deans shoulders. 

  
                “If you want me to stop, please just say so.” Dean stepped back from Castiel waiting for him, to say something instead Castiel jumped Dean. Kissing him hard on the lips, he wrapped himself around, Deans body he let Dean lay him on the empty couch. Dean worked quick on shedding Castiels clothes, once Castiel was laid out naked in front of him. Dean let his eyes wander, he took his sweet time kissing and biting exposed skin. He knew every single sensitive spot on Castiel body. They kissed again, Deans wrapped his arms around Castiels middle pulling him to his chest. While Castiel had his hands full of Dean’s hair, they kissed for what felt like an impossible time, Dean reached down and wrapped his hand around cas’s throbbing cock. They finally separated gasping for breath, Castiel gripping Deans hair he gasped Dean smiled loving the sound of Castiel’s gasps and moans. Dean   
“Inside me Dean please” Castiel was so desperate, he just wanted to have Dean inside him. Dean laughed laying Castiel back on the couch, he kissed his neck slowly moving down his body. He kissed and kissed till he came upon his twitching cock. He took him down in one swift movement. Castiels back arched he gripped, Deans hair as his head bobbed up and down. At the Same time, he worked Castiel open, he’s moaning shamelessly. Dean let’s his cock out of his mouth, and pushes his legs up his tongue Castiel stiffens when his tongue pokes against his hole, he throws his head back and pushes down on his tongue happily.    
Castiel didn’t last long Deans tongue was amazing, Dean kissed his way back up his body Castiel felt so sated he was brought back to reality as cold, lubed fingers pressed against his rim and he couldn’t help throwing his head back in a moan. Dean was a tease he always had been a tease. He was working Castiel even more, he let his fingers slide inside him knuckle deep, his neck was being peppered with sweet kisses,   
“Oh fuck Dean.” Dean had pushed more fingers in curling them, Dean kissed Castiels throat, Dean didn’t use protection. He didn’t need to, Castiel groaned in frustration as his husband took his sweet time penetrating him. Inch by inch, he was in no hurry.

  
                “You look so good.” Dean said kissing Castiels lips in a slow sweet kiss. Castiel clawed at his back, moaning as Dean kissed his neck again right at the pulse. Castiels back arched he pushed back at Deans hips.  
 “Dean please fuck me.” Castiel couldn’t handle the slow agonizing pace, he wanted Dean to fuck him like he meant it but Dean didn’t.   
“No, I want to fuck you so slow, and so good. I want you to remember me, cas I just need you to remember me please.” Dean kissed Castiel hard, Dean changed his angles, just slightly and Castiel lost it. Every thrust had Castiel arching up and thrusting his hips against Deans cock.   
“There, oh fuck Dean” He was in tears he felt so fucking good, his cock was trapped between their bodies. It was so hard to breath, the room was filled with the heavy scent of sex, it felt damp, the room filled grunts, and moans. Dean kissed and bit every strip of skin, he could find Deans moves became erratic. It made Castiel moan and scream louder “Please, please Dean fuck me harder.” Dean paused staring at Castiel he whispered.   
“I love you.” He abandoned his slow pace, and being fucking him with pure wildness. Dean was on his toes, pushing himself fucking Castiel with hard thrusts, now the room was filled the sounds of heavy slaps of skin against skin. Deans thrusts became rougher, sloppier and very quickly losing its rhythm. Filthy moans falling out of Castiels mouth. It felt like the air was being knocked out of his lungs, his lips parted letting out a scream from his throat, his back arching. His cock twitching and he came making a mess in between their bodies. With a gasp and a very loud moan he came inside Castiel, he lost any strength he had and collapsed onto Castiel. They shared slow kisses Dean pulled out he still laid on top of Castiel soon they were asleep in each other’s arms.

“Guys” Sam called out holding Emma, he carefully walked down the stairs.   
“Dean.” Sam called out again no response, he spotted a pair of legs hanging off the couch. Sam walked around it took a lot of will power to not scream instead he covered, Emmas eyes at the sight of her very naked and tangled up parents. Cas and Dean were curled up on the couch, still very much naked from the night before. Sam shook his head and went back upstairs Dean groaned his body, felt too stiff sleeping on the couch sucked. He carefully moved not to wake up cas.   
“Dean.” Cas groaned when Dean moved. They both sat up, Dean opened his mouth to say something. Emma began screeching.   
“Shit.” The both stood so quick, Dean barely got his pants on. He couldn’t get his shirt on in time, Sam was holding up Emma. “It’s okay baby, its fine.” Sam cooed at her but it didn’t stop she was sobbing, Dean moved forward and took her in his arms. “Where is your shirt?”  Adam asked.

   
                "Left it in the basement." Dean answered Emma calmed the second, she was in Deans arms.   
"Cas shes hungry, I'll bathe her. Could you please make her a bottle?" Dean took Emma upstairs changing her was not easy, Emma started screaming the moment he set her down.   
"I can make breakfast for you." Dean heard Benny say Castiels voice was very timid, when he answered with a no thank you. "Take Emma Cas." Dean requested Castiel took Emma, quietly leaving the kitchen.   
"Sit I'll make you breakfast." Dean asked Benny quietly sat on the dining, table watching Dean make pancakes for his family.  
 "I put her down for a nap." Castiel said coming in the kitchen, he handed Dean a shirt. Dean quickly put it on he continued to make food for his family. Dean stacked the food Castiel came down stairs.  his hair was still a mess the classic sex hair, Dean winked at him, Castiel blushed taking the plates he set them up. Dean finished his cooking he sat in his chair over looking at everyone, just as Castiel began to sit. Emma began to cry, he sighed Dean stood.   
"I got her, eat." Dean said kissing Castiels head, he left to run after his daughter.  Castiel ate his food quietly, he could feel Benny gaze on him. He did his best to ignore him,   
"whats your plan for today?" Sam asked Benny.   
"Not much I was just going to head home." Benny answered Sam smiled  
 "Dude stay, we were going to the park for a picnic anyways join us." Benny smiled Castiel frowned, Dean wanted to break his teeth.   
  


"Oh hey that cars still there." Castiel commented as he moved the curtains shutting them, Dean walked behind him pulling that curtain open again.   
"What car?" Dean asked Castiel pointed at a black van, parked across from their home. Dean kissed Castiels cheek "You guys go, I'll meet you there." Dean said Castiel frowned at Dean.   
"I just have to make a call; I'll meet you all there." Dean said they all left one by one, and Dean was all alone. The first thing he did was run to the garage, grabbing the first thing that his eyes landed on. It was a baseball bat so Dean grabbed it running out there, he went straight for the van raising it up high. he smashed it through the window, he knew who was in there too; he also knew they were cowards just hired to watch him. Surely enough the moment the baseball bat, shattered through the glass window. The van started and sped away, Dean went back to his home making sure it was locked. He went for his family, he needed to make sure they weren't being watched. Surely enough at his arrival in the park had a van speeding away, so fast Dean barely got a glimpse at it. His first thought was to go to that smirking piece of shit benny, and knock his fucking teeth down his throat. Gabriel was there staring at Dean with worry he was holding Emma protectively. He only calmed at Castiels voice who was worriedly calling his name.   


"Your bleeding what happened?" Castiel asked taking Deans hand into his own.   
"I was closing the garage; it must have caught." Dean explained.   
"Let’s head back, I'll wrap it for you." Castiel insisted Dean shook his head pointing at Adam.   
"Come with me." He said to Adam   
"I got gum stuck on my shoe too, Sam can you help me scrape it off. We'll be back very soon." Sam smiled at his brother, he was suddenly very aware of their surroundings. He patted Gabriel’s back and whispered something in his ear Gabriel nodded and kissed his lips. Dean went home he kept Adam behind him, not until he was inside making sure. The house was secure Adam ran upstairs fetching the kit, he came back cleaning and wrapping the wound they headed back to the picnic. Sam was sitting very stiffly, he was aware of his surroundings, he and Dean went back to them enjoying their day, his mind set on trying to keep his anger in control. As soon as benny bid them goodbye, they all headed home. Adam along with Castiel entered the house first, before Dean could step outside Sam shut the door. The two of them outside the house,

   
                "Gum stuck under my shoe, haven't used that one since the creepy dude. Who used to follow us everywhere, in the orphanage?" Sam said Dean smiled at his brother, pulling him away from prying eyes and ears.  
 "Enough silence Dean, what in the hell is going on? You better start explaining, otherwise I am leaving and i am taking Adam with me." Sam threatened   
"I need you to do just that." Dean said Sam stared confused at him, Dean took a deep breath and began to explain his plan to his brother. By the end of it Sam was hugging his brother tight, wanting to comfort Dean.   
"I'm fine Sam, I'm fine this is the right thing to do, you just have to follow my plan. Otherwise i can't guarantee any one’s safety anymore. I just need you to stand by me, and get me through this." Dean plead Sam nodded his head   
"I will get us through this." Dean swore from the bottom of his heart he was going to get them out, and get them to safety they did nothing wrong. It was him, he was the one who fucked up. He was the one who brought hell down upon them, He needed to secure his family even if it meant that he could not escape alive. He was going to make sure that they were safe and alive.  

 

  **AN: Don't really know how to say sorry, but terribly sorry that i have not updated this in a while, I've just gone through a very serious health issue and it took me a very long and hard time getting through it. Don't really know if there are any more readers left here for this fic but i have finished writing and it will be posted quickly I hope. Enjoy and do comment Thank you.**


	33. Chapter 33

"This is scary." Sam commented to Dean, It made Dean smile even just for a second. "Dean just a couple days ago, you could not tolerate Castiel. Now your fucking him, telling him how much you love him." Sam asked Dean laughed again.   
"I'm a changed man." Dean answered picking up the cups, he and Sam had used.   
"Yes but why are you a changed man? No one turns around this fast Dean no one?" Sam argued again Dean just shrugged his shoulders.   
"You know that moment, when you know everything around you is going to end. The only thing you can do is just hope and pray, that you set everything right. You take the time to fix, what you fucked up. I don't have the time to fix my fuck ups, I just jumped right to it. Thought I could get it out of the way, so I don't die with regrets. I wanted Cas to remember me, even just for that one night for that one kind moment of. " Dean answered with honesty it made Sam worry even more about it.

   
            "You're talking like you are dying, Dean you will be fine." Sam assured Dean just nodded his head   
"You'll have more chances to fix it, if you and Cas are meant to be. You are making an effort to fix things, to be a better person. I am sure if Castiel sees that again, he'll surely give you another chance If he wants. Just give him a bit of time, and he'll surely either forgive you. Or he might leave you and move on with his life. Either way I am glad you chose to take a turn in your life. just do me a favor and give him some time." Sam asked his brother, Dean gave him a pitiful smile.   
"I don't think there is any time left for me Sammy." Dean whispered   
"Don't say that." Sam warned him, Dean nodded his head.   
“I also take it you know about Gabriel, being Castiels brother?” Sam questioned Dean nodded his head. “I’ve known for quite a while actually, I thought he might make an effort to take Cas and run. I figured you might have stopped him.” Dean nodded his head,   


“I shouldn’t have stopped him Dean. I should have let him barge in the moment, he discovered Castiel was my brother in law. I begged him like an idiot to give you a chance, to make you change, your habits. He begged me to let him remind Castiel that he is his family only family he has Dean I should have let him do it” Sam gave his honest answer “I should have taken Cas to Gabes door, and dropped him off there and walked away Sam, He doesn’t even remember Gabe, but I want him too. I want him to have a proper family, I want to get on my knees and beg his forgiveness for all I’ve done. Sadly, I don’t have the time for it."   
"I don't want you to think bad of Gabe Dean, He looked for his brother for so long," Sam explained   
"Why didn’t he take him away Sam, he found him before he even met you. He found him and did nothing.” Dean asked

  
            “He almost did, he tried to steal him away. He gave Castiel a shot and was going to drag him, out of the building. He got hurt before he even got to him, they hurt him. They cut him open, tortured him thinking he was the feds. When they didn’t get anything out of him, tossed him side of the road. Gabriel survived he even recovered. He looked for him, Castiel had been moved again. He didn’t find him, not until he saw the family picture I have at the apartment” Dean remembered he’d been the one to hurt Gabriel, at that time he did not know him; all he’d been told was hurt, interrogate and toss the man.   
“I feel so disgusted with myself Dean, I did nothing to stop the abuse. He was hurt and I let you hurt him even more, instead of getting him to safety Dean. It wasn’t even his fault and still he suffered so much, abuse at our hands.” Sam said in tears   
           

“I know I realized it long ago, I just needed someone to blame. I blamed him he wasn’t the one, who pulled the trigger; he was just bait. I can’t sit here and dwell on the mistakes, I can’t right the wrong, I can’t beg for forgiveness. Benny is coming for me, he’ll stop at nothing to have Castiel. I can see it in his eyes, every time he sees benny. It’s hatred, for him for abandoning him for letting him, be sold to other men. benny hurt him so much worse than I did, he wants to possess him not love him. I have to keep Castiel safe. I need him to know that no one else is going to force him, into anything he doesn’t want. I need you to make sure that after I take care of this you will tell Gaberial to come for Castiel to get him to safety to keep him ou-” Dean said   


“Dean you talk like you are dying, like this is some sort of will or.” Dean cut him off   
“You want to know, why I’m a changed man?” Dean asked taking in a deep breath,   
“Last night with Castiel, I realized one thing. This fight coming my way, I won’t survive it. I am not coming out alive this time, I don’t have enough time to beg for forgiveness. The best I can do is give my life to save his.” Sam punched Dean landing it straight on his cheek, he punched him hard knocking him off his feed  
 “Don’t you fucking die on me Dean, If you do this, if you fight him, swear you’ll come back home alive.” Sam yelled at him Dean smiled at his brother. “No matter what I do, I’ll come home to you guys” Dean said he walked forward leading his brother down towards the basement. 

 

"We have some preparations to do." Dean said sitting on the ground he pulled on an handle pulling the door up it made Sam gasp.    
"Holy shit Dean." Sam said shocked at the collection of Dean’s weapons.   
"I left that life back so long ago, just kept some of it as a you know precaution." Dean said   
"So what do we do." Sam asked,   
"Set some traps." Dean said holding up some rope.   
"I know there coming for me, just help me set this up and get everyone out of here." Dean said he slowly began to move around the house, he never really got to set up the trap he wanted. His phone had started ringing, Dean hurriedly picked it up Sam watched the color from Deans face drain.   
"Dean what is it?" Sam asked  
 "They took them." Dean said   
"They took Adam and Emma." Dean said he was to calm at this point, and that scared Sam. A calm Dean in a tough situation, was not a good thing. Dean stared at the floor for a second.   
"Get Cas." Dean said to Sam. Sam ran upstairs grabbing a half asleep, Castiel and bringing him to the basement.

   
            "Dean." Castiel asked worriedly, Dean took a deep breath before he told Cas of the situation. As expected Castiel broke down, he gripped onto Deans shoulders, begging him to get his baby back. Dean held him getting him to calm down.   
"I know what I am about to ask you, is going to be a lot. If you want to see Emma again, you don't have a choice." Dean explained Castiel nodded his head, his eyes widening by every word that fell through, Deans lips. By the end of it, Dean held out a packet of papers to Castiel. "Sign this." He asked Castiel still in tears with shaking hands, signed the papers everywhere Dean pointed. Castiel signed Dean put the packet in a file, and handed it over to Sam.   
"get them to the right people." Dean requested Sam nodded his head Dean moved past Castiel but Castiel stopped him pulling him back.

  
            "You sure about this." Sam asked. Dean gave a very weak smile, and nodded his head.   
"It needs to be done." Dean answered Castiel shook his head, not wanting it to happened.

"I have put you through, enough torment Cas. I should have let you go when I gave you the new identity. No matter how much I apologize it won't be enough. I am disgusted with myself, for having to put you through so much Cas. I will never be able to redeem myself in your eyes." Castiel put his fingers on Deans lips shushing him.   
"I forgive you, Dean, think just for a second, do you think you can do this; live without us." Castiel asked Dean shook his head.   
"It all depends on I make it out of there alive." Dean answered in honesty, he didn't think he'd get out of this one breathing or on his two feet. "Dean, promise me you'll come back." Castiel asked Dean nodded his head not wanting to make any more false promises. He took out an envelope handing it over to Castiel. Castiel gripping it tight, his hands were shaking too.

  
            "Well Castiel this is goodbye then." Dean said stepping back he held out his hand.   
"I hope you have a better life after all this." Dean said. Castiels hands shaking gripped onto Deans equally shaking hands. Dean smiled at them, “I’ll get them home to you, I promise” Dean let go of Castiels hand and walked out of there he clapped Sam’s shoulder “Wait for my call” He walked out past them out of their lives.

**AN: Wow, i was really afraid that there was no one really even reading this. I hope you like this chapter, and it hopefully has cleared up some things**

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for all the mistakes, English is not my first language. I am still pretty new to it. I hope you guys like it, I am looking for a beta. If your interested just drop me a message. 
> 
> Leave a comment :)   
> Next chapter will be up soon.


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